The Incredible Jessica James

Synopsis: An aspiring playwright in New York strikes up a friendship with a guy while on the rebound from a break-up.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jim Strouse
Production: Netflix
  3 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
85 min


I think it's really dangerous

to seek personal fulfillment

through romantic relationships.

I do.

I'm just letting you know. FYI.


You shouldn't need other people

to validate or define you.

I shouldn't?

No, you shouldn't. Nobody should.

Oh, yeah. No. Totally.

- Can I get you something to drink?

- No, thank you.

Drinking is basic AF.

Oh, yeah. I guess.

I'll get you some waters.

- Thank you.

- Awesome.

- Totes presh.

- Totes presh.

- What?

- Totes presh.

So, uh...

- have you been on Tinder long or...

- All right.

I'm gonna stop you right there

because I'm not loving the whole vibe

of this interaction so far.

And I would literally

rather have my period

for a thousand years, non-stop,

than continue this portion

of the conversation.


You mentioned something earlier

about wanting to bone?

- Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

- See right here on Tinder, we matched.

- Right.

- Awesome.

And then, I texted you, "Hi."

And you said, "S'up?"

And I was like, "Not much."

- And then you said, "Want to bone."

- "Want to bone?" I guess I did.

- Do you remember that?

- I... I guess I do. Yeah.

So, did you come here tonight

expecting to bone?

- Yes.

- It's not gonna happen.

Well, what happened?

Did I do something wrong?

Kind of.

It's like, when I walked in,

you just shook my hand.

Well, what should I have done?

I don't know. Maybe you should have, like,

grabbed me by the shoulders,

and whispered something real sexy

in my ear.

- Like what?

- Like...

"Go in the bathroom

and take off your panties.

I want to smell 'em."

And you would have done that

if I told you to do that?

Maybe. I don't know.

There's a huge chance I would have

just punched you in your ding-a-ling.

But who knows?

Sort of in this weird transitional phase

in my life

where I don't know what I'm gonna do next.

- I'm going through a really bad breakup.

- Oh.

- Yeah. It sucks.

- Yeah.

That's really the only reason

why either of us are here right now.

- What does that mean?

- He usually comes on Fridays.

So I was hoping

that he'd catch us together,

and then he would freak out

- and be like super devastated.

- Wait, what?

Oh, my God. He's here. He's here.

- He's here right now.

- Are you kidding? He's here now?

Oh, frick me. He's brought a date,

and she's super-hot.

I didn't even know

he liked girls like that.

- Don't turn around!

- Well, what do you want me to do?

I don't know.

Act like we're gonna have sex later.

How do you act like

you're going to have sex?

Be sexual. Do you want me

to have to figure this out for you?

- Figure it out.

- I...

Hey, Jess.

Hey, Damon.

It's great to see you've moved on already.

After only two-and-a-half months

of not dating.

Three-and-a-half months, actually. But...

Hi. I'm Heather.

I'm sure you are.

What's that supposed to mean?

- You tell me.

- Yeah. Um...

We're gonna go eat outside.

- But, um, nice to see you, Jess. Honestly.

- Mm-hm.

Wish I could say the same to you.

But I can't.

Because you broke my heart

into a million little pieces.

Take a deep breath in.

And out.

Deep breath in.

And out.

Deep breath in.

And out.

Hands out of your pockets, please.

Right at your sides.

Oh, boy.


Now, close your eyes.

I want you to imagine

that you're on the beach.

- What beach?

- Any beach.

San Diego Beach?

That would be included

in the options for any beach, yes.

I hate beaches.

Okay. Just imagine it anyway.

It's a sunny day.

There's a sweet breeze in the air.

You take off your shoes

and you wiggle your toes in the sand.

Did I bring sunscreen?

Rate this script:(3.00 / 3 votes)

Jim Strouse

James C. Strouse is an American screenwriter and film director. He wrote the film Lonesome Jim, directed by Steve Buscemi. He wrote and made his directorial debut with Grace Is Gone starring John Cusack. more…

All Jim Strouse scripts | Jim Strouse Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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