The In-Laws

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Let's call in, huh?

Hello, this is Alpha and Beta, over.

We read you, Alpha Beta. Location, over.

We're whipping along South Factory...

...should be coming into the mintaroonie|in about nine minutes at 1100.

Over and out.

What's going on?

Wait a minute!|Oh, Christ! Arabs!

- What're you talking about?|- Chrissakes!

Base? This is Alpha Beta.

Come in. Come in, base.

I bet it's Arabs. I saw a TV show.|This is what they do.

- Come in, base. This is Alpha Beta.|- Jesus!

- This is Alpha Beta. Come in, base!|- Goddamned Arabs!

- They're lowering us now.|- What's happening? What's wrong?

- We're jammed!|- Jammed?

We better get somebody on that radio!|We can't use it jammed.

We're the U.S. Treasury, for chrissake.|This ain't no Wells Fargo truck!

I'll get you! Here,|I'll get your ass! I'll get you!

Get out of there!

What's this sh*t?|There's nothing but money in here.

That's the ticket. Let's go.

Vince.

Hey, Vince.

Hey.

Hey.

- Hey, Vince.|- Gee, I can't believe this trade.

What do the Mets|need another pitcher for?

All they got is pitchers.

What're we doing up here?|I don't understand.

Oh, there's reasons. I mean,|you know, I don't just do things.

There's always a valid reason.|Let me see.

- All right. Any problems?|- None.

Fabulous. Fabulous work.

Now what's the story on this?|You gonna bill me?

- He wants a million, five.|- No sweat.

- By tomorrow.|- What?

- I'm sorry. That's what he said.|- That's completely nuts!

My kid is getting married Sunday.

How the hell does he expect me|to come up with that money?

Do you know how tied up I've been?|I haven't even met the bride's family yet.

If it was up to me, you could take|two weeks, but that's what he told me!

Jesus Christ.

Okay. I just have to|work something out, that's all.

Thanks for everything.|How's the wife?

She's fine. You know,|she's taking up tennis?

- No kidding?|- Yeah.

I can never get the hang of it.|I don't know what the hell it is.

You know, maybe it's because|you have to wear short pants to play.

I guess we ought to|break this thing up, huh?

- Take it easy.|- You too, Vince.

Evita, give Acme a call. I'm not|happy with the viscosity on these bibs.

Okay, here we go, Mr. Hirschorn.|Just open your mouth, please.

Mr. Hirschorn,|take your hand down...

...put your head back,|open your mouth.

That's it.

Mr. Hirschorn,|I cannot work this way.

Doc, 72 years I have this tooth.|He don't wanna die.

Your tooth is not a "he."

It's nerves, enamel,|rotten and it's gotta go.

- No big deal.|- Seventy-two years.

This tooth had steaks. This tooth|had just beans when I was poor.

- Mr. Hirschorn.|- This tooth chewed on beautiful women.

Including a second cousin|of Sophie Tucker.

- Your tooth's had a wonder...|- Dr. Kornpett.

- Your wife is on the line.|- I'll be right there.

Your tooth had a wonderful life.|Now it's time to say goodbye.

I understand.

But I want you to know|what kind of a tooth this was.

It's an extraordinary tooth.

It's an honor to pull it out, which|I'll do after I answer this phone call.

Excuse me.

How's it going?

The tent up? Terrific.

Yeah, I'm getting excited.|Is Barbara home?

- Yes, she's here being very domestic.|- Hi.

- She says hi.|- And remember the wine.

Oh, and remember the wine.

No. Not Beaujolais.|Get something fancier.

- A St. Emilion or a good California.|- Cabernet's great.

Julia Child says Cabernet's great.|Will you be home early tonight?

7:
00 sharp.|He's definitely coming over?

Sweetheart, I'll believe it|when I see him.

No, I'll behave myself.

Listen, I got somebody|in the chair so I gotta go.

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