The Ice Harvest

Synopsis: Larceny, lust and lethal behavior. In icebound Wichita, Kansas, it's Christmas Eve, and this year Charlie Arglist just might have something to celebrate. Charlie, an attorney for the sleazy businesses of Wichita, and his unsavory associate, the steely Vic Cavanaugh have just successfully embezzled $2 million from Kansas City boss Bill Guerrard. But the real prize for Charlie is the stunning Renata, who runs the Sweet Cage strip club. Charlie hopes to slip out of town with Renata. But as daylight fades and an ice storm whirls, everyone from Charlie's drinking buddy Pete Van Heuten to the local police begin to wonder just what exactly is in Charlie's Christmas stocking - and the 12 hours of Christmas Eve are filled with surprises.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Harold Ramis
  2 nominations.
92 min

People always say...

there's no such thing

as the perfect crime.

But I don't agree with that.

If you plan things

carefully enough...

if you think through

every last detail...

if you have nerves of steel...

if you can remain calm

no matter what happens...

there should be no problem

you can't handle.

It's really all

a matter of character.

Of course,

if I had any character...

I wouldn't have stolen

$2 million from my boss.

Christmas Eve.

Ho, ho, f***ing ho.

Well? How did it go?

Good. Went good.

How much?

A lot.

Am I gonna have to slap

the sh*t out of you? How much?

Vic, it's a great big

f***ing pile of money.

$2,147,000 and change.


My God,

we're actually doing this.

No, we're not doing it.

It's already done.

Look, don't be so worried.

The hard part's done already.

Everything worked

just like you said it would.

Yeah. I guess.

Just act normal for a few

hours and we're home free.




You wanna take the money

and not me?

You wanna take the money?

No. I don't know.

I was just...

Well, if you wanna

take the money...

I mean, if you think

you can do a better job...

of guarding $2 million...

No, no, no. It should

be you. It should be you.

It's just we didn't

discuss that.

Are we through discussing it?

Or is there more to say

on the subject?

No, we're done.

Cool. Okay, shut the door.


Okay. And, Charlie.


Act normal.


Oh, good! Good.

No, no, no.

No, no.

That's none of your business.

That's none of your

f***ing business, all right?

I don't give a sh*t,

you toothless old whore.

Mom. Mom, I gotta go.

Don't you ever

touch her again!

Sidney! Sidney! No! No!

Don't hurt him.

Jeez, it's Christmas.

I love you.

Don't be an a**hole.

Giselle, come on,

hop up there.

Merry Christmas, Sidney.

Hi, Charlie.

Didn't see you come in.

Who gave Rusti the shiner?

Her a**hole boyfriend.

Some dipshit guitar player.

I swear to God,

if he comes in here again...

I'm gonna break his

f***ing fingers.

Jesus, look at this place.

Just 'cause it's Christmas...

people all of a sudden

can't look at tits and ass?

Hi, Renata.

Hello, Counselor.

Not drinking tonight?

Just watching the floorshow.

Sidney, get my favorite

crooked lawyer a beer.

Actually, I'll take a rum.



Rum and what?

Got any pineapple juice?

If you got one of those

little plastic umbrellas...

you can put that thing

in there.


You look like the cat that

swallowed the canary, is what.

Like you're about

to belch a feather.

Been working on this

acquisition deal for a while...

and it finally came through,


Is this

a Bill Guerrard thing?

No, this is a... No.

Charlie Arglist.

Man of mystery.

This mean

you're rich, Charlie?

'Cause if you are,

we could run away together.

It's a thought.

Leaving Wichita.

Damn right, it's a thought.

Come the first of the year, there'll

be no more nude dancing in the city.

Which means

I'm f***ed.

And don't tell me, "Move

out to the county," either.

Because Bill Guerrard's

got the county all to himself.

And I don't think

he's looking for competition.

Isn't that right,


You should let me

help you out.

If I was real smart, I'd

see this as an opportunity.

I could, you know.

Could what?

Help you.

You, Charlie?

If you had that photo...

Of Councilman Williams

and Cupcake? Mmm-hmm.

Vic's got that photo.

And I know

he won't give it to me...

because I've asked him nice

and he just won't.

Well, he wouldn't

have to know.

Well, that would be

just about...

the nicest Christmas present

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Richard Russo

Richard Russo (born July 15, 1949) is an American novelist, short story writer, screenwriter, and teacher. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Ice Harvest" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 3 Dec. 2021. <>.

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