
The House of Magic
1
Hey! Wait!
You forgot me!
Hey, hey. Watch it, cat!
- Hey, hey, hey, gato!
- Huh?
I saw them people kick you out.
What did you do,
scratch up their couch?
- Pee on the carpet?
- What?
No. I didn't do anything wrong.
Oh, you must've
done something, amigo,
'cause they chucked you
like a day-old burrito.
It happens all the time.
The streets are full of
Hey, you think I can come with you?
You crack me up.
A gato hanging out with the dawg?
I don't think so, mi bro.
What?
I get two minutes to pee? That's all?
Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.
Man, this lack of physical
activity is gonna stunt my growth.
Hello?
Hey! Hold on!
Do you have any idea
where I am?
Cool place.
Oh.
Oh!
Oh!
Well, hi, there.
Oh, don't be afraid.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm just looking for
a place... to stay.
Wait a second.
Please, don't run away.
Oh, come on, now. This is crazy.
Let me explain.
Hold on!
I just wanna talk to you is all.
Stay away from me!
Jack!
Jack!
Jack!
- What?
- Back off!
Jack, this monster tried to eat me.
No, I didn't.
I don't even like mice.
Do you think we are fools?
We all know cats eat mice.
I'm warning you.
Keep your mangy paws off of Maggie.
- Get me?
- Honest, I wasn't going to eat her.
Enough talk!
Please, you don't understand.
- I'm lost.
- Sorry.
Not our problem.
Everybody in these parts
knows this property is off limits.
Yeah. Especially to strays.
I'm not a stray.
That was close.
Yeah. We don't need anyone coming
in and messing things up for us.
You know how the old man gets
all mushy, lovey-dovey with cats.
Ain't that the truth, Jack.
Good thing we got rid of him in time.
Indeed, indeed.
What a day!
Oh!
You know he dislikes the cold.
Can't say I blame him.
Edison here performed a
double-twisted somersault
into the toilet bowl!
Quite the performance, I must say.
Pass me the little screwdriver.
The purple one, yes.
Thank you, Twiggoo.
Almost done.
There you go.
Good as new.
You're quite welcome.
Next time, be more careful.
Don't use the restroom
as your playground.
Speaking of performances,
I remember my first
like it was yesterday.
Drum roll, please!
It was 1954.
I had performed magic to great
success all over Europe and Asia.
But this was by far and away my
most accomplished trick ever.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if you are squeamish,
cover your eyes!
I and I alone, a mere mortal,
will be the only thing
standing between you
and 1,000 flying daggers!
Who could that be at this hour?
Oh my! An intruder?
Everyone, quickly, hide.
Okay! Let's see who wants
to break into our house!
Oh, come on, Uncle Lawrence!
Oh, Daniel, it's you.
Not another one of your
stupid tricks. Open the box.
Yes, yes, sorry.
I... I thought you were a burglar.
A burglar?
I couldn't open your rusty
old door, that's all.
Yeah, I know, I need to fix it.
So much to do.
Just get me out of this contraption!
That won't be a problem.
As soon as I find the key.
Are you kidding me, Uncle Larry?
I don't have time for this!
Of course, time is money.
Whatever that means.
So nice of you to visit.
Would you like some tea,
or maybe some cookies?
Uncle Lawrence, I got a call
from the power company.
You forgot to pay your utility bills.
Again!
Here it is!
It was in my pocket all the time.
Not funny.
Watch out for your hands.
And your nose.
Oh, I am sick and tired
of your silly tricks!
You used to love them.
Uncle Lawrence, we need
to talk about this house.
Oh. What exactly is
there to talk about?
- Is there a cat in here?
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Citation
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"The House of Magic" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 24 Feb. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_house_of_magic_20465>.