The Hot Chick

[ Slow Middle Eastern music|plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations,|laughter ]

Where is my bride?

[ Wind whistling,|chimes tinkling ]

My wedding dress.|Quickly, put it on.

Soon you'll live your life|in jewels and not chains.

[ Woman chanting ]

Come, child.

Your groom awaits you.

[ Rock music plays ]

ALL:
Honeybees,|all right, all right!

Honeybees, all right!

Whoo! Honeybees,|all right, all right!

Honeybees, all right!|Whoo!

ALL:
Go...

Honeybees!

[ All cheering ]

You ready, Hildenburg?

Yes.

Great.

I have one question.

Why am I dressed like|one of the Fenmore Foxes?

Aren't they our hated|crosstown rivals?

Yes...but...

this year's theme is unity...|for a"ll" cheerleaders.

Oh.

Have fun.

[ Jeering and catcalling ]

CHEERLEADERS:
|Wipe out the Foxes!

Ugh!

[ Crowd cheering ]

BOTH:
|Boys are cheats and liars.

They're such a big disgrace.

They will tell you anything|to get to second...

Baseball, baseball,|he thinks he's gonna score.

If you let him go all the way,|then you are a...

Hor...ticulture studies|flowers...

[ Laughter ]

Oh, no, she didn't.

Oh, yes, she did.

Girlfriend's booty be|a"ll" wrapped up in licious.

"All" wrapped up.

You're pretty dope and phat|yourselves.

Ling-Ling!|You forgot lunch, baby pie!

Chicken with fried vegetable,|bulgogi, and Kimchi.

Thanks, Mom.

Okay. You all learn|real good now.

- Ling-Ling?|- Ling-Ling?

Can somebody answer the phone?

Oh, dang, that's messed up.

[ Both laugh ]

Out of all the Korean|liquor stores,

why did my dad have to|walk into that one?

I'm returning your papers|on the Salem Witch Trials.

I'm sad to report that Eden,|here, got the only "A."

Well, that's not fair.

I mean, she was the only one|who was actually there.

[ Laughter ]

[ Giggles ]

[ Speaks angrily|in foreign language ]

[ Giggles ]

Vice-Principal Bernard.

Oh, Miss Spencer,|wonderful job this morning.

You certainly know|how to whip up a crowd.

As pretty as you are, I bet|you really whipped them up

back when "you" were|cheerleading captain, hmm?

Me? Oh, no, no, no.

I was much more of a band|chick, actually... tuba...

lead tuba... honor band.

Well, then you wouldn't mind|writing us some passes

so we could, uh,|practice some new moves?

Oh, Jessica,|I- I-I don't know about that.

You know, that trophy|is gonna look "so" good

in your office.

Oh...

All right.

[ Chuckles ]

That's what girls do

They keep you guessing|the whole day through

[ All cheering ]

Play your emotions,|push all your buttons

It's true

That's what girls do

That's what we do

[ Giggling ]

Whoo!

You ask me why I gotta play|so hard to get

Ohh! Ugh! Oh!

You ask me do I play it cool|just to make you sweat

Mmm!|That's really good.

Um...|how much do I owe you?

It's okay.|It's on the house.

[ Smacks lips ]

Really?!

Thanks.

...through to you-u-u-u-u

- That's what girls do|- [ Girls giggling ]

They keep you guessing...

Who's gonna pay for that,|a**hole?

You are not gonna make it|in this business.

[ Gasps ]|You total binger!

April, this is gonna go|straight to your ass.

"Itchbay" alert.

Bianca.

[ Sighs ]

Jessica, you look great!

Are you doing something|different

or just hanging out|with skankier friends?

[ Laughter ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

Wow, Bianca,|you look really good, too.

Um...are you eating less|or just barfing more?

[ Laughter ]

Barfing more.

Good luck|at the cheer competition.

Yeah.

You too.

[ Chuckles softly ]

Hmm...

[ Alarm ringing ]

[ All laughing ]

Bye-bye.

Agh!

ALL:
Oh!

Let's go, Winona.

[ Indistinct conversation,|giggling ]

APRIL:
|Jess, what are you doing?

Hang on a sec.

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Whoa.

This is kind of cool.

[ Foreign accent ]|Can I help you ladies?

Oh, yeah. What is this?

Oh, yeah, I like that, too.

It's actually a Senegalese lute|carved from deerwood,

used for fertility rituals|and...

- Sure. Yeah.|- Cool.

Oh, and you can put|your weed in there.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh.

Check this out.

Oh, yeah. That's beautiful.

It's actually a model|of the prison on Robben Island

where Nelson Mandela|was held 27 years.

- Oh.|- Oh.

And before the collapse|of apartheid, of course.

Yeah, he came out|pretty hate-free, though,

you know, ready to heal...

went on to become|the president of South Africa

after that... after they freed|him, of course, sure.

- Wow.|- Yeah.

A lot of people|don't realize this,

but you can put|your weed in there.

- Oh. [ Chuckles ]|- [ Chuckles ]

This is great. Sure.

Well, if you have|any more questions,

I'll be in the back|sleeping, so...

Great.

Okay. Thanks.

Oh, actually,|this is the back. Sorry.

- Oh.|- Oh.

This stuff makes me feel so|proud to be African-American.

Ling-Ling!

You walk right by Crazy Nail,|no say "hi" me.

Hi, Mom.

Bye, girls!

Fake pearls!

[ Girls giggling ]

[ Up-tempo drum music plays ]

[ Music swells ]

[ Wind whistling,|chimes tinkling ]

[ Foreign accent ]|Stop banging those drums!

I'm sorry.

I didn't even know|you could hear that.

Oh, my God.|Look at those earrings.

I'd be the envy|of every girl at prom.

[ Gasps ]

Not like that was|in jeopardy or anything.

[ Girls laugh ]

Um, excuse me.|How much are these?

Not for sale.|That's a genuine artifact.

Oh.

No!

No!

Okay, I'm all set.

Is that all you got... $ 18?!

It's a gas station.

Everybody pays with|credit cards nowadays.

Help yourself to some nachos.

[ All giggling ]

[ Bell dings ]

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes