The Honeymoon Machine

Synopsis: The crew aboard the USS Elmira are working on a project, code named Operation Honeymoon. At the operation's core is the testing of the Magnetic Analyzer Computing Synchrotron, or MACS for short, which is a smart computer designed to do among other things determine where missiles are going to land. Civilian Jason Eldridge is the scientific mastermind aboard in charge of MACS' operation. His friend aboard, Lieutenant Ferguson Howard, sees other possible uses for MACS. He wants to know if MACS, if given the proper data, can accurately predict games of chance, such as those found in casinos. After discussing the situation, Fergie and Jason decide the game which MACS can predict the most accurately is roulette. They decide to test MACS' abilities, and possibly get rich, at their next port of call where there is a casino, namely Venice. They plan on using a system of Morse Code light signals from the ship to shore to transmit the information. Although they go ahead with their plan, they are
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Richard Thorpe
Production: MGM
87 min


Missile away.

A green bird true on course.

Grand bahama report on sighting.

Grand bahama reporting,

missile honeymoon overhead.

Velocity one-four-triple o.

Pardon me, sir.

Thank you.

Computing room reports

an increase

in predicted takeoff altitude.

We'll be a little

behind schedule, sir.

How much?

E.t.a. Plus three

minutes, forty seconds.

Mr. Eldridge,

you said the missile

would land where?

The missile won't land

at all, senator.

It'll be consumed by friction

as it enters

the earth's atmosphere.

But the nose cone will zero in

off our bow six miles away.

Mr. Eldridge, just out

of idle curiosity,

yes, sir?

Suppose the nose cone yes, sir?

Six miles too soon,

perhaps here on deck.

What would that mean?

Among other things,

senator, it would mean

that the electronic brain

aboard this vessel

had made a slight mistake.

Which it never does.

Would you care to see

the brain at work?


Would you care to see

the brain at work?

I think the senators are

excellent security risks.

Right this way, gentlemen.

Thank you.

Beyond this panel lies

the cortex of the brain,

the seat of its intelligence.

Technically, the brain is

known as

"magnetic analyzer

computer synchrotron."

His friends call him "Max."

Like the human brain,

Max has no moving parts.

His gray matter consists of

four thousand vacuum tubes

and 170 miles of fine wire,

electronic nerves

producing intense

powers of concentration.

You don't mean Max

actually thinks?

As we understand thinking, no.

But he has a superhuman memory

and a super-analytical mind.

Since the missile

left its launching pad,

Max has been keeping

a running prediction

of its course.

He's telling us now that

the cone will hit its Mark

in exactly

1 minute and 4 seconds.

Let's go, gentlemen.

Out of bearing 0-0-3 degrees.

Distance, 12,100 yards.

Right on the nose, sir.

6 miles, 100 yards.

Congratulations, Mr. Eldridge.

Thank you.

Incredible. It's amazing.

Attention all Navy

and civilian personnel.

This is captain Adams speaking.

Operation honeymoon

has been completed

you'll be proud to learn that

your ship has tracked

an I.C.B.M. Across 6,000

miles of ocean

with an accuracy

never before attained

in the history of telemetry.

For your efforts...

Throw that doodle on the floor.

- Right there.

- You're covered.

And this, my friend,

declares the same.

Fergie, roll them

strong and true.

The point I was using,

gentlemen, is little Joe.

Little Joe from kokomo.

He did it again.

Old buddy, you're hotter

than a $2 pistol.

Gentlemen, we will

shoot the 200.

And while congratulations

are in order,

let us not forget our

top-secret friend Max.

Max, who predicted with such


the course of the missile.

Max, predict us now, predict

us, Max, a 7.

And if you can't predict us a 7,

then predict us an 11.

I was praying to Max.

Don't pray to Max...

Pray to me, I've got the dice.

And I predict a 7.

Fergie, the great predictor,

greater than Max, who knows all.

Who needs Max when

we have the great Fergie?

Valuable data,

will now with the aid

of electronic

equipment enlarge...

Snake eyes, craps and out.

Buddy, what happened?

I should have prayed to Max.

Come on, Fergie,

you're still rolling.


Should feel proud

and honored to be part

of this gigantic undertaking.

You have seen history in

the making here today.

I might even say

history of your making.

We cannot decorate Max, but we

can salute him as I salute you.

Well done.

I'm just asking, that's all.

Is it possible for Max to

predict the throw of a dice.

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Lorenzo Semple Jr.

Lorenzo Elliott Semple Jr. (born Lorenzo Elliott Semple III; March 27, 1923 – March 28, 2014) was an American screenwriter and sometime playwright, best known for his work on the campy television series Batman and the political/paranoia movie thrillers The Parallax View (1974) and Three Days of the Condor (1975). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Honeymoon Machine" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Sep. 2021. <>.

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