The History of Mr. Polly

Synopsis: Quiet and somewhat direction-less, Alfred Polly uses the money he inherits from his father to marry and to set up shop in a small town. His heart is in neither of these enterprises and he eventually resorts to desperate measures to break free. His random wanderings in the countryside lead him to a new opportunity that just might be what he's been looking for all along.
Genre: Drama
95 min


(Clock chiming)


I'm looking for Mr Polly.

It seems he cannot be found.

Mr Polly, sir?

I haven't seen him for some time, sir.

Mr Polly, sir? No, sir.

- Tell me, where is Mr Polly?

- I don't know, sir.

"Then," said Sir Lancelot,

gazing across the valley

to where the river menandered

through fields of corn,

"my lady and Queen, this is the hardest

and most mischievious adventure

"ever attempted in all chivallery."

Old gravel-face is looking for you.

You ain't half gonna cop it.

One moment.

Have you seen Mr Polly anywhere?

(Low-pitched) No, sir.

Get up, Mr Polly.

What are we doing down there?

Why are we rolling about on the floor?

Get up at once, Mr Polly.

It has come to my notice, Mr Polly,

that we are not happy in our work,

that perhaps

we are not entirely suited to it,

that we are a slacker

and that we need to buck up,

that instead of studying our trade,

we prefer to enjoy ourselves

staying out to ungodly hours.

- You see, sir, I...

- Yes, Mr Polly?

I would like to remind you, Mr Polly,

that when we applied

for a position in this establishment

we gave every assurance

of being a smart young man,

that we had every intention

of getting on,

of getting on, Mr Polly, or getting out!

Get out, sir!

Get out of my sight!

Get out!


I've had six years' experience?

I've had six years' experience.

That's your lot. No more emergencies.

Can't get a job, can you?

Can't get a job anywhere.

Why not?

Not a trade I ever ought

to have chosen, really.

Father's fault. He put me into it.

Social misfit, that's what I am.

- (Door opens)

- (Footsteps)

Your name Polly?


Something for me?

Good news?

Found a situation, have you?

No, it's my father.

He's dangerously ill.

Never knew him very well, did I?

Stranger to me.

Took me to the pantomime, though,

every year. Crystal Palace.

Temper, too.

That time he wanted to get

the sofa upstairs, and it jammed.

Kicked and struck at it.

Lost control altogether.

Never forgot it.

- Looks peaceful.

- It was a merciful relief.

Second departed I've ever seen.

- We did all we could.

- Oh, no doubt of it, old man.

We was just talking

about the funeral, cousin Alfred.

You'll have to have a hearse, of course,

not one of them combinations

with the driver sitting on the coffin.

Disrespectful, I think, they are.

I do like them glass 'earses.

So refined and nice.

Podger's hearse you'll have.

It's the best in Easewood.

(Mr Polly)

Everything that's right and proper.

You'll want a mourner's carriage.

- According to whom you invite.

- Didn't think of inviting anyone.

You can't let your father go to

his grave without askin' a few friends.

- Funereal baked meats, like?

- Not baked.

You'll have to give them something.

Ham and chicken's very suitable.

Bit vulturial, isn't it?

- Where will you get your mourning?

- Haven't thought about it, old man.

I suppose I must have mourning.

If I were you, I should get ready-made

trousers. That's all you really need.

Black satin tie. Top hat

with deep mourning band. And gloves.

- Jet cuff links, as chief mourner.

- Not obligatory.

- It shows respect.

- Oh, it shows respect, of course.

Chasing the old man about to the last.

Wish I'd looked him up a bit more

while he was alive.

(Women giggle)

Oh, there you are, Alfred.

These are your cousins Larkins.

This is Annie.


And this is Miriam.

And this is Minnie.

Righto! I see.

And here's Aunt Larkins.

- I should have known him anywhere.

- She's never set eyes on him before!

I should have known him anywhere

for Lizzie's child.

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H.G. Wells


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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The History of Mr. Polly" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 11 May 2021. <>.

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