The Gamers: Dorkness Rising

Synopsis: All Lodge wants is for his gaming group to finish their adventure. Unfortunately, they're more interested in seducing barmaids, mooning their enemies, and setting random villagers on fire. Desperate to rein in his players, Lodge injects two newbies into the distrust: a non-player character controlled by Lodge, who the power gamers immediately distrust, and the rarest gamer of all -- a girl. Can the group overcome their bickering to save the kingdom, or will the evil necromancer Mort Kemnon triumph unopposed? A parody of fantasy films and the adventure gaming community, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising is a hilarious romp through the world of sword and sorcery -- in this case, a world of exploding peasants, giant house cats, and undead roast turkeys. Game on!
105 min



Stay here until we return!

Aye, my Lord

Mort Kemnon!

Uninvited guests...

Your reign of terror ends here!

By the light of Therin you shall fall!

What good is the light of your goddess?

She can not help you...





This does not end here!

Yes it does...for you.


Was there a reason you didn't turn those ghouls?

Since that would've helped us...not die?


Maybe you should have detected the trap, Cass. Green Mouse would be proud.

That was an AMBUSH, not a TRAP.

Even you should know the difference.

Oh by the way...way to defend the cleric there, Conan.

You lived..oh what...six seconds?

Real smart giving them clear path to the healer.

Look! Guys...

I didn't see you helping!

In fact, I saw you dying like a whiny little peasant!

Maybe I was dying...

...because our battle-dealer wasn't doing his job!

How am I supposed to kill everything in the room when I get flanked?

You are supposed to keep people of my ass

And you are supposed to keep healing me!

Which brings me to my lack of powers which I didn't have after I lost them!

Did I mention losing my powers?


And if he hadn't cut you off we totally would have had him

Yeah....I didn't even know it was possible cutting of a cleric of his god.

It's not....not in the core rules it isn't

It does fit the story!

It doesn't fit the rules!

Story trums rules!

Again with this argument...

Boss...we're down to our last copy of "Pizza Tattoo"

And of course I can't expect you

to know where we keep our products seeing as how you work for me

Argue on!!

What would you rather have?

A fantasy world with its own mysteries and pitfalls

...or...just another cookie cutter setting with no real surprises?

You should have told us that in your world the cleric could be cut off of his god!

Why should I told you that?

Gary... would you have played a cleric if you've known it's allowed to shut him down?

Hell no!

That's player knowledge, not character knowledge!

You know but your character wouldn't

That is so cheap! Cheap cheap cheap!

It is not cool to let a character advance that far and pull something that huge on him!

It was supposed to be a nasty surprise!

Something you weren't expecting

And because it was so unexpected the party died!

This is what happend when you mess with the rules!

What were you thinking?

Maybe....that it would force you to ROLE-PLAY!

What do you think we were doing??

Guys... come on!

Same time next week?

I'm good!

The new expansion for "Samurai Baseball" comes out next friday

Looks very strike out you commit sapaku

No...we play this very game..

The same campaign?

We played it twice already?

You guys wanna do my campaign again?


I have a reputation? There is no game on this shelves that can beat me!

So what kind of gamer would I be if I let some unpublished mod give the best of us?

Thanks, Cass. That's real...thoughful.

Hey, Gwen...

Hey, Mitch...


God...I don't know why that keeps happening?

Listen! We need two more players!

Dude.. I've got work in the morning!

No! Dick! For your campaign.

It's why we keep dying. We need a more well-rounded party.'s only so much damaged three mad hombres can do, right?

Oh Cesar...didn't see that one coming did you?

Are you guys still gaming?

We're playing TimeValentin.

We need to go back through time and beat the crap out of historical figures

I totally bushwhacked Abraham Lincoln.

Don't you have class in the morning?

Yeah. In like five hours? Why?

Take that Jesus!

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"The Gamers: Dorkness Rising" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 14 Jul 2020. <>.

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