The Four-Faced Liar

[Turn signal clicking]

[Horn honks]

[Doorbell buzzes]

A**hole.

F***er.

Hi.

Hi.

Come on!

Oh, Bridget...

What?

Look what I found.

Let's see.

Come and get your 40, Bridget.

Welcome home.

Hmm.

Completely.

[Siren wailing in distance]

That's where I set up my account.

You can set one up there.

Okay.

And then there's a really cute

grocery store down there,

so that's where I shop.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What?

Nothing. I swear.

It just doesn't look like the New York

that you see in movies, you know?

Come on! It's totally charming.

Okay.

Huh!

Um...

Hey... How 'bout we go over there?

Perfect.

Between two of them -

that's perfect.

Who would you rather f*** -

Aretha Franklin or Wynonna Judd?

Judd.

Wynonna Judd or Kirstie Alley?

Ugh... Alley.

Uh... Oprah or Gayle?

- Oprah.

- Bridget.

Oprah.

Damn. 10.

Definitely a 10.

That girl? She's a 4.

You're crazy.

Bridget's a 10.

Didn't you say you had

work or something?

I got to get ready.

All right, this is one of the ones

from last Thursday.

Last Thursday? What?

This girl's like a retard, Bridge.

Where do you meet these girls?

Another restaurant on Bleecker.

That wipes out the entire village for you.

I know.

That's really good, Bridge.

Stupidest girl I've ever met.

She is so clingy,

and boring...

And dumb.

Ooh. 9.

She's a 4.

Oh, my God.

She is not.

Oh, God.

Bye, guys.

Amy, before you leave,

who would you rather f*** -

your mom or your dad?

Oh, my dad.

Okay, how about you wait

for me outside on that one?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Bye, Amy.

- Oh, cute. Bye.

Yeah.

- Thank you.

- I got your back.

You always do.

But never have I ever

drank that much rum.

All right, wish me luck.

Hey...

Does this place

not remind you of Joe's?

On Temple Street.

Yeah, in downtown Westport.

- It's great.

- I told you.

Are you gonna

have another one?

Mm-hmm.

Do you remember the time...

This girl keeps looking at me.

I totally know him.

- I like your shirt.

- Is she still looking?

Sorry...

Aren't you the only guy in my...

Girl-writer book class.

...female authors of the 19th century?

I am literally

the only guy in that class.

Why are you in that class?

Bridget made me.

- Is that your major?

- No. Statistics.

- You?

- I finished last fall.

He's studying for the LSATs.

That's like a lawyer, right?

That's... amazing.

She's a ballerina.

Modern-dance major, uptown.

Don't you just hate her?

Her? No.

God, no. Sorry.

Um, Anderson, our professor.

Oh, yeah.

She's a big old douche bag.

Where you guys from?

New Jersey.

- You a Giants fan?

- Hells yeah.

My dad's company

has box seats.

No sh*t.

- It's a douche nozzle.

- What?

Not a douche bag.

It's a douche nozzle.

It's just being more accurate.

- You're so smart.

- I am.

Girls are so offensive!

- Thursday gone?

- Yeah.

Hey, do yous

want to come sit down?

Sure.

Aren't you in...

- Girl-writer book class.

- Female authors of the 19th century.

Okay, um, never have I ever...

wiped my ass with leaves.

It's disgusting.

You lick ass.

Thank you.

Yeah...

You're up, sunshine.

Oh, I, uh...

It's "Never Have I Ever."

If you've done it,

you drink.

If you haven't, you wait.

Um...

Never have I ever, uh...

...locked myself out.

Naked.

Oh, my God.

Um, never have I ever...

kissed a girl.

Oh. It's not too bad.

It was a dare.

It's, like, hot.

- You jealous?

- Always.

All right, I got to pee.

All right, never...

Never have I ever

been to the Four-Faced Liar.

So you're not good at this.

Why is it called that?

Oh, uh...

It's named after a clock tower

in a town in...

...lreland.

- Thank you.

I forget the name of the town.

- Bridget, it doesn't matter.

- It really doesn't matter.

But each face of the clock

tells a different time,

but none of them are right.

They all lie,

so they call it the Four-Faced Liar.

I'm Bridget, by the way.

Molly.

Greg.

Trip.

Huh?

Terrence Witherspoon McNally, III.

Ill... Triple... Trip.

I'm Trip.

Why would anyone name you that?

[Car alarm blaring]

[Voices outside]

It's so loud.

You'll get used to it.

This is the craziest thing

I've ever done.

I can't believe I live here.

- I love it here.

- I know you do.

I asked Trip

to the game on Thursday.

Good. They were fun.

He was fun.

She was... all over the place.

Well, that's the village for you.

Uh huh.

What?

Nothing.

What? What?

- Stop it! Stop it!

- What? What?

Stop, please!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What for?

For following me here.

Anywhere.

Hey, babe, you want to come to

a play with me tomorrow night?

Can't. I have a date.

What?

Jealous?

You're nuts.

Baby...

Baby, look at me.

Hmm? No.

Shut up.

Look at me. You're beautiful.

What?

Um...

What do you want the

whole world to know today?

I love you.

Wait. Stop.

Look at me...

What do you want

the world to know today?

Trip, I love you.

Say it one more time.

I love you.

- Yeah?

- Yes.

Um, who you going

on a date with tomorrow?

Greg.

Okay.

Bye.

[Mumbles Bye]

Bye.

[Mumbles Nice]

Thank you.

Never have I ever...

eaten worms.

That's stupid.

Never have I ever...

fallen out of a window.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Worms?

Point taken.

Dude, what do you want to

do for Anderson's project?

Why don't you do something

without me for a change, okay?

That fiery little redhead,

third row back, asked you, didn't she?

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