The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter
I can't believe he did that.
Yeah. You know what, Carmen?
I'm done. I'm done with this.
You know what?
This is the last time
he pulls this on me,
'cause I'm not going
through this anymore.
I deserve so much better, right?
You're absolutely right.
I have to meet him.
Esther. Esther.
What?
You're still married.
Consider these bruises a divorce.
Esther, I'm gonna need you to push.
What the... Is that a cigar?
It's not lit. It's just
something I do for stress.
Hombre loco.
Why are you smoking a cigar, when you're
supposed to be delivering a baby?
That's the kind of stress
he's talking about, madam.
Have you been drinking?
If you want a sober white
doctor in this town,
it's going to cost you a fortune.
Ain't that the truth?
Man, that is going to be a big baby.
I just hope I can pull him
Is the father here?
Jesus!
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey!
Hey, sorry. I was just
in the bathroom, man.
I just ate some spicy chimichangas.
- Oh. Okay.
- Oh, man.
It just burned like
you wouldn't believe.
I'm sure. Okay, I got to get to work.
- Yeah.
- All right, Gabrielito, come on.
- Hurry up and pick a movie.
- Okay, Mom.
Hey, hey, hey, where you going?
You got to have hair down
there to go in there.
Huh?
I already have hair.
Where's your mom?
She's over there
talking with some old man.
Some old man? Where's your dad?
I don't have a dad.
- Gabriel, hurry up.
- Okay, Mom.
I can't let you rent this, kid.
It's an R-rated movie.
Well, my mom said it's okay.
- Great. Ask her again.
- Fine with me.
Hey, Mom, can I rent this?
Yes. Hijo, hurry up. We got to go.
Okay, thanks. Told you.
After your movie's over,
I want you to clean up and
do your homework, okay?
- Okay, Mom.
- All right.
And remember what we talked about.
I want you to think about what
you want to be when you grow up.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- For real.
- For real.
All right. Give me a kiss.
- I love you.
- Me, too.
- Have a good day.
- You, too.
Fluffy, Fluffy, Fluffy!
Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for Gabriel Iglesias!
Fluffy! Fluffy!
Fluffy! Fluffy!
- Bay Area...
- Fluffy! Fluffy!
...I missed you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Section 215,
14, 13, 12,
11, 10,
nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four, three, two, and one.
They can hear you.
Oh, my God! I must look
tiny up there?
Estchiquito. Estchiquito.
"He's so little, yeah."
Before I say anything else, you guys,
a big hand for Bay Area legend,
Mr. Chuy Gomez!
The first man to ever put me
on the radio in the Bay Area.
Thank you, Chuy.
And, of course,
another big round of applause
for my friend, the man,
the myth, the legend.
Give it up for Martin!
This is so cool how now
you guys recognize him.
You see him, and you're like,
"That's him. That has to be Martin."
Seriously, with that crazy hair,
the tattoos, the goatee,
you know exactly who it is.
Now in this building,
over by the merchandise table.
I saw this girl lose it. She ran
over to Martin, screaming.
He's like, "Dude"
I'm like, "Hey, she's not pressing
charges. Hug her back."
That's rare.
So then the girl turns around,
and she sees me, and she goes, "Hey!"
And then I was like, "Hey!"
And she was like,
"Can you take our picture?"
"Yeah, all right.
"So that's what that feels like.
Yeah, here we go."
I'm getting ready
to snap the picture,
and she's hugging Martin,
and she's like,
"I cannot wait to tell my
friends that I met Machete."
I lost it. I was like,
"Smile, 'Machete'!
"Smile, 'Machete'!"
He was so sad.
He was like, "Bro, she recognized me,
"but she thought I was someone else."
I said, "Hey, get over it. I was
Operation Repo for three years, okay?
"Just be thankful you
got recognized."
So let me tell you what's happened
since the last time we've been
here in the Bay, you guys.
By the way, I hope you
like our decorations here.
Oh, yeah.
Since the last time we've been here,
a couple of things have changed,
one of which is I am
officially down 100 pounds.
Yeah.
I know some of you here in the front
are looking at me right now like,
"Well, how big were you?"
I know. "Hercules, Hercules."
Yeah...
Anyways, you guys,
let me tell you what happened.
Basically I found our
I was a little sick.
years ago, type 2 diabetic.
Now, I maxed out at 445 pounds.
Yeah, that's way past fluffy, okay?
Let's be honest.
That's not even, "Damn!"
445 pounds, that's borderline
Discovery Channel fat.
That was like, "I couldn't
leave the house." Yeah?
"He wants to go to the movies."
It was really bad, you guys,
and so I was waking up every
morning with a 300-plus sugar level.
Now, anyone who knows anything
about diabetes, that is super high.
And you do that enough times,
and eventually...
"Clear."
It's so hard
To say goodbye
"They buried him in frosting.
"It was the sweetest funeral ever.
"Everyone got a cupcake.
It was the sh*t. It was so nice."
Im at the doctor's office,
you guys, and the doctor tells me.
He says, "Listen, Gabriel,
you're 445 pounds.
"Your weight is out of control.
"Your diabetes is out of control.
"You're 35 years old.
"You will not live another
two years. I guarantee it."
And I got very emotional, you know,
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"The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_fluffy_movie:_unity_through_laughter_20235>.
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