The First Men in the Moon

# She came, she came to meet a man

# She found an angel

# Goo goo, goo goo

Barabajagal was his name now

# Goo goo, goo goo

Barabajagal was his name now... #

I don't want the shot

to go on too long,

just long enough to say

Diana Dors has lost her drawers.

Won't you lend her some of yours?

Jim?

Can you believe they're up there

now, Dad? Isn't it amazing?

It certainly is.

Where's your mother?

Right, you stay there.

I'll fetch her. Don't wander off.

Dad?

"I Can't Give You

Anything But Love"

Hello?

Come to mock, have you?

Come to gawp?

I beg your pardon?

You have some manners, at least.

That's something.

They didn't send you, then?

Who? Those dreadful

children...from before.

They said they wanted

to see my kinematograph films.

But then they only laughed at me.

What are your films?

Hm?

You said you had some films.

Are they cartoons? Can I see them?

I won't laugh at you, I promise.

You seem like a very well brought-up

young man.

I think I might be in trouble.

I can't find my mum and dad.

No?

Dad says we have to get back home,

you see, to watch the telly.

It's such a special day.

He says we'll remember today

for the rest of our lives.

What's so special about today?

They're going to land on the moon!

Oh.

Don't you think that's exciting?

The first men on the moon!

Why are you laughing?

You wouldn't believe me,

even if I showed you the evidence.

Nobody ever has...

..in all these years.

My name's Jim.

Pleased to meet you, Jim.

I'll believe you, I promise I will,

whatever it is.

Now then, you mustn't believe people

just because they ask you nicely.

Very well.

You make yourself comfortable in

this chair, and I'll attend to

everything.

But you must prepare yourself for

a shock, young man.

Oh? Oh, yes indeed.

You see, those chaps

in the Apollo

what-d'you-ma-call-it...

..they won't be

the first men on the moon.

They won't? No.

I was the first man on the moon.

You were?

More than that...

..I was the first man IN the moon.

It was such a long, long time ago,

back when old King Edward

was on the throne.

'I was a young man, an ambitious

man, and I put my faith

and my savings

'into a company I was assured

that simply could not fail.'

Bugger.

'My creditors pressed me hard,

so I decided to take a break

from it all,

'and it seemed to me at last

that there was nothing for it

'but to write a play.

'And in any case, everyone

was writing plays in those days.

'It was better than working

for a living.'

'It was whilst waiting for the

elusive muse to put in an appearance

'that I first clapped eyes

on Professor Cavor.'

I say, do you mind awfully

not doing that?

Beg pardon?

Do you mind not making that row?

I'm trying to work.

My dear sir,

I really am most awfully sorry.

Was I making a noise?

Yes. Yes, you were.

Was I? How queer.

I do get a little distracted.

This, you see,

is my time for exercise.

I come here to enjoy the sunset.

But you weren't even looking at it.

No.

You're working, do you say?

Yes. Yes, I'm, er... I'm a writer.

A writer? Really?

How fascinating.

You're doing it again. What?

Nn-z-z-nn-zzz-gh!

Really? Was I?

My mind is much occupied.

I shan't trouble you again.

Oh, really, but it was only

a trifling inconvenience.

No, no, I shall take

my perambulations elsewhere.

Very sorry to have bothered you.

Good night, sir. Good night.

Um...

I saw nothing of him for two days...

and then he came again.

I don't blame you in the least,

but you've destroyed a routine,

you see, and it has

disorganised my days.

I've walked past here for years.

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