The Female Brain

Synopsis: What makes a woman swipe right for Mr. Wrong? Sofía Vergara and Whitney Cummings star in this fresh, witty look at the science behind our romantic missteps.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Whitney Cummings
Production: IFC Films
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
41
Rotten Tomatoes:
27%
NOT RATED
Year:
2017
98 min
789 Views


1

[projector clicking]

[instrumental music]

Okay. H -- h.. Is this..

H -- hello?

I am Julia Brizendine

and I am a neurologist.

I know.

Sounds geeky.

But I basically

stare into

people's heads all day,

which is a dream for me

because ever since

I was a kid

I've always wished

I could read

people's minds.

Life is so much easier

now that I have a machine

that lets me see

inside people's brains.

I can even find out

someone's

emotional intelligence

by showing them photos

of faces

and then seeing

if they can identify

the expressions on them.

Sorry, I'm being

such a dork, but come on.

How cool is that?

Anyway, I -- I work

at a university now

and I think

what ultimately drives

my research today

is my fascination

and frustration

with phrases like this..

Women...are...crazy.

Men...are...stupid.

Women are obsessed

with marriage.

Men are obsessed with sex.

Right?

These are all stereotypes

that at one point

or another

we've probably all heard.

Maybe even thought.

Now, I'm not

only gonna talk

about the female brain

today.

We know a lot more

about the male brain

but that's mostly because

they've been studied more.

We know that, uh,

men have bigger heads

and thicker skulls.

And in the old days,

scientists used to think

that that meant that

they had bigger brains too.

But in 1995,

we found out

that women have

the exact same number

of brain cells,

just jammed

into a smaller space.

So, if we just found that

out recently

then what else

don't we know

about the male

and the female brain?

Well, we already know

that we struggle

to understand

and relate to each other

but the good news is

that in my studies

I discovered a lot about

how our primal neurology

effects

and sometimes sabotages

our relationships.

This is Steven and Lisa

and they've been married

for 12 years.

Now, like any couple

Steven and Lisa

have their issues

but what if I could

tell you

that a lot

of their problems

actually have

a biological basis.

What are you doing, dude?

Get off!

I feel like this mirror

is gonna fall.

- What do you think?

- I don't know. I'm 40.

Now you come on, get up.

Help me.

So I figure,

wouldn't it be helpful

to just see inside

their heads

to find out why

they act the way they do?

Well, first of all,

it's helpful to know

that women are generally

more sensitive

to threats than men are.

This is because of

the part of the brain

that senses danger,

the amygdala.

In women, this area

is more easily activated

which is why

we're more attuned

to potential dangers

that men

may not even notice.

It also doesn't help

that we're typically

smaller than men

and full of holes.

[sighs]

Hurry up.

So, the reason couples

are less passionate

after being together

for a while

is because

after about two years

their brains

stop producing dopamine

the feel good chemical.

After that,

they produce oxytocin

which bonds you

with someone.

This explains why Steven

and Lisa are less sexual

but more committed.

And yes,

this even happens

to attractive people.

Are you gonna pick up Ty

at school or am I?

I'm done early.

I'll do it.

Okay. Let go.

[sighs]

It's -- it's

the same thing.

Whatever.

[piano music]

Oh, come on.

- Mom! Let's go!

- Okay.

Ow! Ow!

This is Lexi and Adam.

They've been together

for two or three years

depending on who you ask.

Ow! Oh. Oh. Ow.

- Better, right?

- What am I looking at?

You don't notice

anything different?

Oh, oh, yeah!

- That is better.

- What is?

- Your face.

- Eyebrows!

Oh, right.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Or do you think

I need to darken them?

I don't know,

I feel like suddenly

I've got this fringe.

They kind of,

they kind of disappear

and it makes me look

a bit ill.

The area of the brain

responsible

for recognizing

errors and flaws

is larger

in the female brain.

This makes women

more self-conscious

and more likely

to be perfectionists.

Scientists call it

hyper-vigilance

whereas people tend to

call it being neurotic.

Can we not play

the eyebrow game today?

- I'm sorry.

- I mean I suck at it.

- I really do.

- Okay. Okay.

Okay.

- It's my teeth.

- Hmm.

I whitened them too much.

Ugh! You see?

They're whiter

than the whites

of my eyes.

It makes my skin yellow.

- Classic.

- I don't want to play --

Classic

teeth whitening mistake.

- I'm bad at the

teeth game too.

- Is it?

Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, I gotta get the f***

out of here. I'm late.

No! Stop!

Don't touch that!

- Back off! Get away.

- Please. Just..

You wanna pop it.

- Can I just say

one thing?

- No.

That is

a clogged hair follicle

and I can deal with that

in two seconds.

- No, I don't want you

to deal with it.

- It'll be gone.

- Just like that. Please.

- No. Don't touch it.

- Leave it alone.

- Please.

Grooming causes

the female brain

to release endorphins,

another feel-good

chemical.

This is nature's way

of motivating us

to stay hygienic

and prevent infection.

Monkeys do it.

Lions do it.

Girlfriends do it.

- It hurts like a b*tch.

- You never let me

do anything!

And you don't use

the scrub I gave you

and also let us not forget

the extremely generous

Christmas present

I gave you.

It was the gift voucher

for the Brazilian

straightening.

- Yes.

- Ah!

- You're welcome.

- Right!

The gift voucher for the

Brazilian straightening.

- For my hair.

- Yeah. Yes.

Right. Yeah, no,

you're right.

I didn't use that actually

'cause I -- I like my hair.

It looks..

It looks cool.

It looks disheveled and..

...it makes me feel

dangerous.

Like unpredictable..

"Who -- who is that guy?"

- Like, "What's -- what's

his story?" You know?

- No.

"What's he up to?

I don't trust him.

I don't trust him."

I like it.

I feel like I look like

Bo Duke from

"The Dukes Of Hazzard."

I don't even know

who that is.

You don't know

"The Dukes Of Hazzard?"

You don't get

"The Dukes Of Hazzard"

in the UK?

No.

Well, maybe it was

my American accent.

Y -- you don't know

"The Dukes Of Hazzard?"

You've never heard of

"The Dukes Of Hazzard?"

The Duke boys?

They get in the car

and they jump!

And they jump around.

They -- they ju..

They get in their little..

Oh! Oh!

- Looks like the Duke boys

are up to no good!

- That's not my voice.

- You've never seen that?

- That's not how

British people talk.

- You say

"Dukes Of Hazzard."

- "Dukes Of Hazzard."

"Dukes Of Hazzard."

I don't want to get

my hair straightened.

One, 'cause I like

the way it looks

and I'm a guy,

I have a girlfriend.

- It doesn't even matter.

Who cares?

- Yeah.

Well, my dad does

because it's his

60th birthday this weekend

and I think he would

appreciate a sleek...do.

- Yeah?

- Yes.

If your dad cares about

the way my hair looks

I will give him

a million..

I'll give him

a blowj*b.

I will get a rocket

and go shoot him and I

into space,

and I will give him

ten blowj*bs in space.

If your dad gives

a f*** about my hair.

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Neal Brennan

Neal Brennan (born October 19, 1973) is an American comedian, writer, producer, and director. He is known for co-creating and co-writing the Comedy Central series Chappelle's Show with Dave Chappelle. By the end of the second season, it was ranked as the most popular Comedy Central show. It premiered in January 2003 and continued until 2006. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Female Brain" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_female_brain_20205>.

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