The Doll

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[Crickets chirping]

[Car door shuts]

- [Gasps]

- [Man grunts]

[Music box playing]

[Radio tuning static]

[Woman sobbing]

[Loud rock playing]

What if I could take a walk

[Muffled]

To a better place...

[Music continues]

[Sighs]

[Bangs on door]

Chris!

[Banging]

Chris! What the hell?

Would you keep it down?

[Music stops]

- What the hell?

- What?

Please keep your music down.

I swear, Shannon

is going to leave me

with all this loud music

you keep playing.

I'll keep it down.

Listen.

I know I said

you could live here,

and you're my best friend,

but you're

really affecting my life.

I get it.

You and your girl want space.

I'll just find

someone's garage.

It's no big thing.

Listen. Shannon

is not just any chick.

Don't be afraid

to lose her, man.

And if you do, so what?

She'll be back.

You have a good thing

going here.

Your grandmother left you

her house.

She didn't really know

how to decorate that well,

but that's why I'm here.

Just relax, dude.

It's gonna be all right.

Chris, you'll never change.

[Chris]

This...

[Giggling]

- [Chris] Hello.

- Hello.

Excuse me while

I cough this up.

So...

- [Woman] Shots.

- [Chris] Shots?

[Woman]

Let's do it.

- Do you want more?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Chris! What the f***?

Really?

- Andy.

- Right now?

You know Shannon's coming

home in, like, 15 minutes,

and she hates you,

and you're destroying

our relationship.

Come on.

You know, when I said

you could live here,

I didn't mean like this.

Andy, these are my friends.

Say hi.

- Hi.

- Hi, Andy.

- We'll be done soon.

- I've never seen your friends...

These friends before.

Yeah, well...

that doesn't make them

any less friends.

- Okay?

- How do you know them?

They're my friends, Andy.

- Get in the pool.

- Get in the pool, man.

- Are you drunk?

- Yes, I'm drunk.

Of course.

It's not an insult.

Don't you have work

in the morning?

- Andy, come have fun with us.

- Cindy. You can have Cindy over here.

Candy. Candy or Cindy?

You don't even know

your friends' names, Chris.

- My name's Krissy.

- How do you know what her name is?

My name's Krissy.

Whatever.

Candy's a lot different

than Krissy, Chris.

She's... she's...

She tastes like Candy.

- Oh, no. No.

- [Krissy] Andy.

No, no, no, no, no.

Stop it, guys.

I can't do this right now.

- Yes.

- No, no, no.

Have some fun, Andy.

[Chris]

Get with the times, Andy.

- [Women giggling]

- [Andy moans]

Wow, this is nice.

Shannon's gonna be

so mad at me.

Shannon's not here.

- You're not wasting...

- Pouring Tequila.

I love you, too.

I like you more.

- Got it.

- Yeah.

What the f***.

- [Woman] What the f*** is this?

- Oh, sh*t.

Strippers?

You, you, you, and you,

get the f*** out of here.

So sorry, guys.

Did you just... did you

just apologize to them?

Yes.

Andy, I would expect

better from you.

I can't believe this sh*t.

Shannon, I tried

to get them out of here

- as soon as I...

- Oh, really?

You... you mean

like I just did?

No.

You let Chris run

your f***ing life,

and you always put him

first before me.

I'd never be able to party

in this house like he does.

I just can't f***ing

believe this.

I've had it, Andy.

I'm not living in a house

that has strippers

and hookers in it.

It's me or him.

Shannon, you know it's you.

- Of course it's you.

- You know what?

It's too late, Andy.

I can't take this anymore.

I'm done.

I'm so f***ing done.

- Come on, Shannon.

- Don't touch me.

Why do you have to be

such a b*tch?

- [Groans]

- [Muttering]

[Groans]

What the f***?

Shannon? What the f***?

Shannon, don't do this.

Don't go. Please don't

do this to me right now.

Listen. I'll kick Chris out.

We can have

this whole place together.

Please don't do this.

Shannon.

Shannon, please.

[Sighs]

I'm sorry, Andy.

[Knock on door]

Hey, buddy.

I heard you guys.

I'm sorry you lost her.

I process pain a little

differently than you, but...

So I know I'm probably

not much use.

Just go away, Chris.

I just wanna lay here

like an atom

or a molecule.

I can't be anything else.

Spring will come.

All right.

I'll check in with you later.

The walls look good.

Yeah.

Your f***ing painting

is impeccable.

We live in hell now.

Literally.

I'll just order

some food then.

I don't wanna do this.

F*** you.

[Chris]

Gotta take a whiz, man.

What the f*** are you doing?

What the f***, man?

You didn't take any of those,

did you?

Did you take those?

- Did you...

- No.

- No.

- Look at me.

Did you take those?

No, I didn't.

Okay. Good 'cause that's

boner medication, bro.

You'd have had a boner

for a long time.

Sh*t, man.

[Muttering]

Come on.

Come to my room.

Chris, I don't want to go

to your room.

- Let's go.

- I just wanna go to sleep.

I wanna show you something.

Let's go. Come on.

- You're gonna like this.

- Fine.

You're gonna like it.

Trust me.

[Andy]

Fine.

Listen, man, I've been

thinking about your situation

and I've got something

to show you.

This, my friend,

is the Doll.

Hot chicks.

Hot Russian chicks.

This is what you do

all day in here?

- Yeah.

- Look at mail-order brides?

Yeah, sorta. They're like

an escort or a pro ho.

Uh...

They come for a week,

and you get to try them out,

and it'll be fun.

And it'll make

Shannon jealous.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Hmm.

You know, chicks, dude,

they can't f***ing handle

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