
The Cleanse
1
[]
The winter months
Were so much fun
For April's fool
From snowball fights
To skating on
A frozen pool
[RAIN PATTERING]
Her nose so cold and wet
I like to bow...
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[TRUCK RUMBLES]
[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING
ON RADIO INDISTINCTLY]
[CHEWING LOUDLY]
Mmm.
Mmm.
That looks good.
It's a hot dog, yeah?
Yeah.
[LAUGHING]
Man, I can't even...
Can't even see the hot dog
in that hot dog, right?
[CHUCKLES]
[CHEWING LOUDLY]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hey.
You know what
you want, hon?
Um. Almost.
Uh...
It's been a while.
Do you remember me?
Well, I get a lot of people
in here, so...
Right. Right.
You look a little thinner
I kinda remember
a couple coming in here a lot.
That was, um...
That was my fiance.
We used to...
I don't think
I've gained weight, though.
WAITRESS:
Maybe itwas someone else.
[LAUGHING] My memory's
shot to shit, hon.
[LAUGHING WHEEZILY]
Has it really been
that long?
So are you waiting
for someone, or...?
No, it's just me.
MAN 1 [ON TV]:
...when youlook down, and you realize
there's no phone
in your pocket.
MAN 2 [ON TV]:
That happens all the time.
MAN 1:
Right? Now, did you knowthat sensation
actually has a name?
Scientists call it
phantom vibration.
You feel like
your phone is vibrating,
but it's actually not.
It's just your body...
[ADS POPPING]
MAN 2:
It's crazy. I didn'tknow there was a name for that.
MAN 1:
Well, not onlyis there a name...
- [WOMAN MOANING]
- [BANGING]
[SLAPPING]
[PAUL SIGHS]
[DINGING ON TV]
DEAN [ON TV]:
Boy, you reallylucked out tonight, Heather.
HEATHER [ON TV]:
Thank you so much.
DEAN:
She had a good time.
And I hope you did too.
We'll see you next time.
[CHOIR VOCALIZING
ON TV]
[SNORTS]
WOMAN [ON TV]:
Are yousearching for something?
Is baggage
weighing you down?
Wish you could restart?
Well, now you can.
And guess
how much it costs.
Absolutely nothing.
It's free.
Join us on a retreat
to one of the most beautiful
and remote places
in the country
as you try
a brand-new program
guaranteed to rid
the negative toxins
from your life.
Isn't it time?
Visit LetsGetPure.com
and face your demons today.
[GROANS]
[]
[TV PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY]
[COMPUTER PRINTER
WHIRRING]
MAN [ON TV]:
Now, that'swhat I like to see!
Some of that good
St. Patrick's Day spirit!
[ELEVATOR DINGS,
DOORS OPEN]
[ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE]
Okay, everybody. Who's ready
MAN:
Good, becauseif you're not ready,
there's the door.
Go on, you can leave
if you like.
Okay.
Now, you've all heard
of the lemon-cleanse diet.
It was designed back
in the 1980s to help the body
rid itself
of negative toxins.
Those... Those things
that prevent
the body
from doing its job.
It originated with Ken Roberts
and his best-selling book,
The Purification
of the Lemon Cleanser.
MAN:
The lemon cleanser has caughton like wildfire in recent years.
In fact, some of your favorite
celebrities have done it.
But Mr. Roberts
felt he could do better.
Now I want you all
to close your eyes and relax.
Think about that pain
you felt.
That deep pain
that prevents you
WOMAN:
We need to know that pain.
MAN:
Keep thinking.
WOMAN:
Keep thinking.
MAN:
Keep thinking.
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
WOMAN:
And open.
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
Now...
who wants to share
their pain first?
Yes, thank you.
One sec, here we go.
WOMAN:
Oh, uh...
a good look at you.
Heh, heh.
Uh. So, uh, this, uh,
one time, I...
Uh, posted on Facebook
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Citation
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"The Cleanse" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 4 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_cleanse_19936>.