The Boy in the Dress

1

I'm Dennis.

I live in an ordinary house

in an ordinary street

in an ordinary town.

But I feel... different.

I go to an ordinary school.

But I feel different there, too.

Put him on an amber alert.

Thank you.

Ah - Lisa James. The serial offender.

Shall I measure her skirt,

Mr Hawthorn?

Lisa James is the coolest

girl there.

She's always trying to bring

some style to the school.

Dennis?

Que voulez-vous acheter

dans le magasin?

Um...

Une voiture?

Mais, c'est une boulangerie!

Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans

une boulangerie.

Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez.

Isabel?

De... je pain

Du. DU pain, oui.

Du pain, du pain.

The teachers moan that

I'm always daydreaming.

Saturdays are the best,

cos that means football.

All right, Darvesh? Yep.

Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?

Yes, thank you Dennis, it is.

Oh, you always notice things!

Wish my son would notice

things like that.

I notice you're embarrassing.

Football is the one thing

I'm good at.

Go on, Dennis!

The one thing that's mine.

Yes! Goal!

But I still don't feel like

I fit in.

Dad doesn't come to watch anymore.

But these days

he has got a lot on his plate.

Oh! I'm knackered just

watching that lot.

Sausages are a bit burnt.

And I forgot to put the hob on for

the peas, but they'll soon melt.

Things aren't easy in my family.

It was better when Mum was around.

When you were with her, you

felt like anything could happen.

Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!

Then one day it did.

She left.

After she'd gone, Dad burned every

single picture we had of her.

But I managed to save one.

What you doing? Ssh!

But Dad being Dad, he couldn't resist

cooking some sausages at the same time.

I suppose I wanted to escape

to some magical world.

And I found it in the most

unexpected place.

Dennis!

Dennis!

Boys can like Vogue too, you know...

Ahem!

33 seconds. That counts as browsing.

Just Match and... Vogue.

Uh-huh.

Vogue!

The fashionista's Bible.

An unusual choice for

a 12-year-old boy.

Raj, I need to be getting home,

so...

Come to think of it, I've never had

a boy your age buy Vogue.

It's a Christmas present.

For my auntie.

Oh, oh, oh! Then you will need

a card.

A card? Uh-huh. To go with

the present.

I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,

"with deepest sympathy"...

No, no, no. That's not right.

The Santa one is fine.

Then you will want wrapping paper

and sticking tape,

and - oh, oh, oh! - A gift tag.

That is nine pounds...

Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.

Come Fly With Me

by Michael Buble

Dennis?

What you doing?

Nothing. Just... thinking.

What?

You know how when we were little,

we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?

Yeah.

Don't you sort of miss that?

Nah. Got better things to do now.

Like hang around outside the offy?

Nah. That's boring. We hang

around outside the Pound Shop.

See you later! See you very soon.

It's a party!

I'm not 18 years old!

Why did you agree to have a party?

You're acting like I'm not here!

Think it shrunk a bit.

There you go. Thanks, Dad.

Right, now. The lorry's being

serviced today, so I've got a bit of time.

I was going to fix that leaky

pipe in your room.

Where you going?

Forgot my maths book.

Hiya, Peter! Hi, Jaspreet.

Dennis'll be down in a sec.

Oh! Not too soon, I hope.

I do so enjoy our little chats.

Dennis!

Any sec now. Just...

Dennis!

Get down here! Here we are.

Hiya. Bye, Dad.

All the best.

Thanks for taking him again.

Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.

And if you need anything, just call.

Anything at all, day or... night.

Oh. Yep.

I'll just, er...

There we are, then.

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