The Best Thief in the World

Synopsis: The story of a young boy (Izzy) and his family, living in New York. His father (Paul) has recently had a stroke, completely debilitating him mentally and physically. Izzy tries to escape the reality of it all by breaking into nearby homes. His mother (Sue) struggles to keep the family together, battling Izzy's outbursts and the strains of the entire situation.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Jacob Kornbluth
Production: Showtime Networks Inc.
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
93 min

[Beat box music plays]

Yeah! This is our

show right here!


We're rapping kids, yo.

We're rapping kids!

Don't mess with us!

Say what?

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man.

I'm the man.

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man!

Say what?

I'm the man!

[Laughs] say what?

I'm the man.

Hey! Don't listen to him!

Listen to me!

Listen to me!

I got a little gold tooth here!

I'm the man, yo!

Say what?

[Children shouting

in distance]

Okay, sammy joe, let's get

this show on the road.

Put your shoes on.

I know, i'm dead. Bang.

I thought we were waiting

for Izzy to come back this time.

Oh, honey...

is that really what

you want to wear?

Yes, i have to.

We're going to

the hospital.

I want to wear this

to the hospital.

Fine. Wear what you want.

But come here.

I don't want to go

if Izzy doesn't have to.

If he wants to be an a**hole,

that's his problem.

Okay. Come on.

Let's go.

Amy, would you...

i know, i know.



[Speaking indistinctly]

[Doorbell rings]

[Doorbell rings]


Sorry, wrong apartment.

[Doorbell rings]

[Doorbell rings]

Come out, come out,

wherever you are.



[Static blares]

[Static stops]

Yesterday, i saw dad's ghost

in the doorway.

It wasn't real,


That's stupid.

He's not even dead yet.

[Machine hissing]

You can't move him.

I won't authorize it.

Well, this doesn't require


I won't let you.

I won't.

So help me,

if you or anybody else

tries to move that man,

i'll kill you.

Miss zaidman, please.

I'm sorry.

We just don't have

the space.

We... i'll take him home,


That is an option.

It would be very difficult,

but it's possible.

You really don't get it,

do you?

What am i supposed to do

with my kids?

How am i supposed to work?

I'm a goddamn english teacher.

Miss zaidman, i'm sorry.

We just don't have

the space.

I'm really very sorry.

I know you are.

I'm sorry.


Hey, robbie.

Nice of you to come.


Are you okay, mom?

I suppose so, honey.

It's just the damn insurance

and the damn hospital.

We are so f***ed.

Where's Izzy?

Respect, robbie.

Shut your hole.


I don't know where he is.

He's being a sh*t.

The doctor thinks paul's

well enough to come home.

Hmm. [laughs]


What do you think,


Hey, guys.

Wh... hello?

Honey? Jim?

Are you okay?

Are you sick?

Why aren't you

at work?


Are you depressed?

Jim, honey, i'm sorry,


[beat box music plays]

Hey, yo, this is

"walkin' through the jungle."

One, two, three, go.

[Rapping] walking through

the jungle, my dick in my hand

i'm a mean motherf***er,

i'm a jungle man

i look in the tree,

and what i see?

a green motherf***er

gonna sh*t on me

i took a rock,

hit his cock

and that motherf***er

ran a block

all right,

so who you got, man?

I got him right there.

I got him.

I got my man with

the red hat right here.

I got my man

with the blue hat.

Get outta here, man.

I f***ing

hate this sh*t.

Just shut up.

Come on! Let's play

the f***ing game!

Taking all day.

Yo, you go deep. You go down

and across the steps.

You go underneath

across the middle.

Dice is gonna guard you,

so get the ball,

and i'm gonna burn his ass,


Yo, i'm gonna be open.

Why can't we just play

some f***ing football?

Yo, just do it, man.

I'm gonna take care of dice.


Yo, hit me if i'm open.

I can take my man.

Yeah, yeah.

Just get open, okay?


You can chill. You know

you ain't gonna get it.

Set! Hike!

Go ahead, go ahead!

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Jacob Kornbluth

Jacob Kornbluth is the award-winning director of documentaries Inequality for All, and Saving Capitalism, and feature films Haiku Tunnel, Love & Taxes, and The Best Thief in the World. He was a producer on the TV show Years of Living Dangerously. His work on that show won a primetime Emmy. Jacob has had 3 films premiere at the Sundance Film Festival. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Best Thief in the World" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 May 2021. <>.

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