The 4 Musketeers

Genre: Adventure
210 min


The Russian Federal Agency for Culture and Film

Supported by the Hubert Bals Foundation,

Rotterdam Film Festival

Yelena Yatsura


See, those 18 tons

there are even since '65.

I don't care if they're from '41!

Well! Where is he? It's past two.

- Valya, stop fuckin' around.

- Nosirev! Nosirev!

The chunks are you know...

I boiled them a bit.

It's the right smell - absolutely.

Tomorrow at nine - all of it.

You take care of loading.

- What about those 18? Ha?

- Not now.

What about the Kantemir meat?

It's minus 28 there.

Don't work with ground meat.

Told you 100 times.

It's minus 28 down there,

everything'll be fine,

- All packaged back in '92.

- I don't work with ground meat.

Eight years old. Cutlet meat with powder.

In tin cans.

- Plus, they deliver.

- I don't work with ground meat.

So he says, take six cans,

pour water, stick in a newspaper,

and put them inside. And the moisture

problem will be solved.


The curves will get all rusty.

Put varnish on the pegs.

And you'll get church bells instead of a piano.

The glass'll crack, eh?!

Hey what about that Blutner?

Semi-lousy. The basses are off.

Se-emi lo-ousy,

Sem-i-i l-o-usy.

- How much is it?

- One and a half thousand.


He cra-zy or something?


And whe-re's my tuning fork?

Who-the-fu-uck kno-ows?

He-ere it-is.

That's it, finished!


- The metro is closed.

- We don't use the metro.

- What are you... already?

- Uh-uh.


It's nothing...



Where's the money?

In the vase.

Which one?

Which one?

The 'Gagarin' one.

- Marina...

- What?

- What's it with you?

- Nothing.

I'll tell Paravazik.

F*ck off.

What will it be?

What goes down better at three in

the morning:
vodka or blood?

I drink beer at night.

So what do you want?

I'll start with vodka. Then we'll see.

- Absolut, Smirnov?

- Do you have Moscovskaya?

Of course.

- How much?

- 50 grams. And a tomato juice.

I'll have a beer. What do you have?

- Tuborg, Baltika.

- I'll have a Baltika.

What kind of bastard

would run over a dog at night!


What, why?

Well, it's more likely to happen at

night than during the day.

The city's empty! He didn't even look.

Idiot. People are assholes...

So are dogs.

They throw themselves under cars.

- Themselves? 'Cos a dog's life is shit?

- Because man's is.

A dog's life is comfortable actually.

- What do you want to drink?

- White Russian.

- I'm out of cream.

- Ah, come on.

A dog gets hit, and the bar's out of cream.

- Anything else?

- What else?

You got any Curacao?

One half with vodka. Lots of ice.

It's not so simple with dogs.

A friend of mine hit two dogs.

And each time

something bad happened to him after...

His lover left him.

Then something with his teeth.

Then he hit a drunk on Profsoyuznaya.

Killed him.

Straightaway he got lucky with a flat.

Good European furniture too.

- For cheap?

- Very.

Dogs are closer to God.

Are you a believer?


Haven't had Curacao in a while.

Wish everyone looked that way.

Everyone'd be gay then.

Nowadays they're bloody everywhere...

Have you tried Curacao with tequila?

- No, is it good?

- A killer.

- But I don't like it.

- Why'd you suggest it then?

- Women like it.

- Women are into tequila now.


Two women I know. One never drank.

Now soon as I turn up - she's there

with salt, cutting a lemon.

The other, drinks a bottle of tequila

a night with her husband.

Home alcoholism.

I can't stand tequila.

- It's made from cactus, yes?

- Yes.

Reminds me of aloe!

My grandma used to give it to me

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"The 4 Musketeers" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 30 May 2020. <>.

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