That's My Boy

Synopsis: While still in his teens, Donny (Adam Sandler) fathered a son, Todd (Andy Samberg), and raised him as a single parent up until Todd's 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd's world comes crashing down on the eve of his wedding when an uninvited Donny suddenly shows up. Trying desperately to reconnect with his son, Donny is now forced to deal with the repercussions of his bad parenting skills.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Sean Anders
Production: Sony Pictures
  5 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
31
Rotten Tomatoes:
20%
R
Year:
2012
116 min
$36,900,000
Website
685 Views

1

(ROCK OF AGES PLAYING)

All right

l got something to say

Yeah

It's better to burn out

Yeah

Than fade away

All right

Ow

Terrific.

Gonna start a fire

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Come on

What's up, numb-nuts?

Read 'em and weep.

Van Halen at the Centrum.

Third row!

You should take

Jolene, man.

I heard

she got big nipples.

This is

Van freakin' Halen, man.

Get serious.

Besides, I'm just not

into girls anymore.

Dude, I'm into guys, too!

No, no, no, no, no.

That's not what I meant.

I'm into women.

(I WAS MADE FOR

LOVING YOU PLAYING)

Yeah

Hey, Mary.

I got two tickets to

Van Halen this weekend.

What time should I

pick you up?

It is Miss McGarricle, Donny.

And that's cute,

but I am your teacher,

not your girlfriend.

Whoa, Miss McGarricle,

who said anything

about girlfriends?

Let's just start

with a summer fling,

couple of hand jobs,

no expectations.

Don't get all psycho

on me right away.

That is a month's

detention.

What's a hand job?

I don't know,

but I think I want one.

Can I go to

the bathroom?

No. No talking in

detention, Mr. Berger.

All right,

I'm sorry for what I did.

I promise

I won't do it again.

You're in a lot

of trouble, Donny.

Wait, you're not gonna

tell my dad, are you?

He'll kick my ass.

He. . . He's crazy.

What were you

trying to do, anyway?

Impress your friends?

Well, you know,

you're, um. . .

You have

a little crush on me?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) No.

"No." So, you. . .

You don't want me.

No. Yeah.

I. . . I don't know

what I'm supposed to

say right now.

Is that gum

in your mouth, Donny?

Mmm.

You know,

I've been watching you

all year, Donny.

When you hit that shot

to beat Fairfield

and you were

jumping up and down

in your little Larry Bird

short-shorts

and sweating

like a jar of pickles

in the hot sun. . .

(SIGHS) Oh, God.

That was so hot.

Is this really happening?

This is happening.

It's happening

right now.

In my office.

Okay. Awesome.

So, I. . .

I'm totally in.

How do you

want to do it?

'Cause I made sex before,

lots of ways.

So you want to go

straight to hand jobs

or eating me out

or taking me from behind?

I'll teach you.

DONNY:
(VOICE CRACKS)

I'm a virgin.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God !

(AND THE CRADLE

WILL ROCK PLAYING)

Ow

Oh, yeah

You know

Oh

(READING IN HEBREW)

Well, they say

it's kind of frightening

How this younger

generation swings

You know it's more

than just...

Who? Me?

Well, the kid

is into losing sleep

And he don't come home

for half the week

You know it's more than

just an aggravation

And the cradle will rock

Hey, Donny,

what'd you get?

Cradle will rock

And l say rock on

And if I'm elected

eighth grade

class president,

I promise to. . .

MARY:
(GASPING)

You're getting

so good at this!

I promise to do my best

to lower prices at the

school stores and, um. . .

MARY:
All of our practice

is really paying off!

(MARY MOANING)

I like the sound of that.

(MARY MOANING)

(RHYTHMIC BANGING)

Timmy, stop.

Hold on a second.

(AUDIENCE GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

My dad's gonna

kick my ass.

(CHEERING)

Calm down !

(WILD CHEERING)

AUDIENCE:
(CHANTING)

Donny! Donny!

Donny! Donny!

Who's the man?

Donny! Donny!

Donny! Donny!

Yeah ! You want some of me?

Who's the man?

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

JUDGE:

All right, everybody!

(GAVEL BANGING)

Enough !

I am aware that

a lot of people think

that this young man

is not really a victim,

but someone that's living

the ultimate

teenage boy's fantasy.

Absolutely.

(GALLERY MURMURS)

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David Caspe

David Herbert Caspe (born October 20, 1978) is an American film and television writer. He wrote the 2012 film That's My Boy and created the ABC comedy series Happy Endings and the NBC sitcom Marry Me. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"That's My Boy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 22 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/that%27s_my_boy_19606>.

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