That's Carry On

Synopsis: That's Carry on is a 'best of the carry on's' movie with Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor introducing clips from all the Carry On movies (from Carry on Sergeant to Carry on Behind). The two regulars converse at the Rank Film building to host the film, with their own running gags involving Barbara's "assets" and Kenneth's desperate need of a toilet!!!
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Gerald Thomas
Production: Rank Organisation
95 min


Ooh, how am I going to get all this lot in?


Bilmey! You have got a lot there.

No, it's impossible!

( She strains and groans )

Ooh, listen. You wriggle and I'll shove.

We're nearly there.

Don't stop!

( He groans )

Push the knob in.

It won't work if you don't push the knob in.


You're right!

She's not just a pretty face.

Ladies and gentlemen, from 28 films...

And God knows how many film stars...

That's Carry On!

# Fanfare #

We don't meed your recommendation,

thank you.

Ooh! No, it wasn't like that at all.

It was noble, a pageant of history.

A cavalcade of contemporary comment!

A colossal Carry On cockup!

Yes. No! Stop messing about.

What about that, then?

Huge action colour spectacular

and a cast of thousands!

( Breaks wind )

Ooh, yes, the Carry Ons certainly had

an atomosphere of their own.

You can say that again.

I thought

we'd start off with one of my favourites,

Carry On Don't Lose Your Head.

In the end, I did lose my head.

- Oh, it don't show.

- No, well, it...

Miss Sharp, straight out of the knife box!

Mm... Ooh!

( Hum of conversation )

Oh, hark at me.

You needn't request an audience.

You've got one.

It's these bubbles.

They get lodged in my chest.

Hmm, there's room for a few lodgers there.

( Rhythmic clapping )

# Lively music #

Excuse me, my dear. May I cut in?

Of course, Rodney, darling.

Thank you, my dear.

Act naturally.

Ah, Sir Rodney! I must congratulate you.

A perfectly splendid charity ball!

Thank you, Lady Binder.

Now, do tell me. What is it all in aid of?


Oh, come. It must be in aid of something.

SFA- Stramded French Aristocrats.

Oh, of course. A very worthy cause.

And you've done them proud tnight.

But then, you've always had magnificent

balls, and I wouldn't miss one of them!

Thank you, Lady Binder.

I bet they didn't hold any balls

there for a long time.

They did! Every Tuesday.

I'd go round clearing up the mess after

with a bucket and shovel.

Like you did in the next Carry on,

Follow That Camel.

Good day.

( Camel grunts )

( Cock crows )

( Cock crow again )

This appears to be the place, sir.

Well, help me down, will you, Simpson?

Ho! Camel, boo-boo.

Hi-ha! Hi-ha!

I've got it.

Good morning, madam.

My name is Bertram Oliphant West.

Well, I'm sorry, but what can I do about it?

My name is Zigzig.

And what can you do about that?

No, no, you misunderstand me, madam.

I merely wish to ask where one goes

to join the Foreign Legion.

Ah, just one moment!

I go ask the sergeant.


Sergeant Nocker.

He is important man in Legion.

He know everything.

Is he here?

Oh, yes.


Perhaps it's the married quarters, Simpson.

There are two men here

who are wanting to join you.

Nothing doing. Let them find their own bed!

Ah, sugar date. Hold it right here, sugar.

Sergeant, do you have to go back now?

You're a good girl. Thanks a lot, honey.

Thanks for the lift.

I have a good ass.


Was ist das? Ze joke?

Oh, I forgot I had it on my head, sir.

- Deal with this man, Sergeant!

- Yes, sir. It'll be a pleasure.

Oh, it's the hat! Oh, don't blame him, sir.

- He was so busy helping me, that he...

- Silence!

# Exotic rhythm #

I don't know if you happened to notice,

sir, but these things...

Yes, Simpson, I did happen to notice.

We have some casserole dishes

just like that at home, sir.

Oh, yes, that's right.

We used to put our dumpings in them.

We use them for the same reason here.

The infidels will all perish when the

second crescent of the moon enters

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