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Ooh, how am I going to get all this lot in?
Bilmey! You have got a lot there.
No, it's impossible!
Ooh, listen. You wriggle and I'll shove.
We're nearly there.
( He groans )
Push the knob in.
It won't work if you don't push the knob in.
She's not just a pretty face.
Ladies and gentlemen, from 28 films...
And God knows how many film stars...
That's Carry On!
# Fanfare #
We don't meed your recommendation,
Ooh! No, it wasn't like that at all.
It was noble, a pageant of history.
Yes. No! Stop messing about.
What about that, then?
and a cast of thousands!
( Breaks wind )
You can say that again.
we'd start off with one of my favourites,
Carry On Don't Lose Your Head.
In the end, I did lose my head.
- Oh, it don't show.
- No, well, it...
( Hum of conversation )
Oh, hark at me.
You needn't request an audience.
You've got one.
It's these bubbles.
They get lodged in my chest.
Hmm, there's room for a few lodgers there.
Excuse me, my dear. May I cut in?
Of course, Rodney, darling.
Thank you, my dear.
Ah, Sir Rodney! I must congratulate you.
Thank you, Lady Binder.
Now, do tell me. What is it all in aid of?
Oh, come. It must be in aid of something.
Oh, of course. A very worthy cause.
And you've done them proud tnight.
But then, you've always had magnificent
balls, and I wouldn't miss one of them!
Thank you, Lady Binder.
I bet they didn't hold any balls
there for a long time.
They did! Every Tuesday.
with a bucket and shovel.
Like you did in the next Carry on,
Follow That Camel.
( Cock crows )
( Cock crow again )
This appears to be the place, sir.
Well, help me down, will you, Simpson?
Ho! Camel, boo-boo.
I've got it.
Good morning, madam.
Well, I'm sorry, but what can I do about it?
My name is Zigzig.
And what can you do about that?
No, no, you misunderstand me, madam.
to join the Foreign Legion.
Ah, just one moment!
I go ask the sergeant.
He is important man in Legion.
He know everything.
Is he here?
Perhaps it's the married quarters, Simpson.
There are two men here
who are wanting to join you.
Nothing doing. Let them find their own bed!
Sergeant, do you have to go back now?
You're a good girl. Thanks a lot, honey.
Thanks for the lift.
I have a good ass.
Was ist das? Ze joke?
Oh, I forgot I had it on my head, sir.
- Deal with this man, Sergeant!
- Yes, sir. It'll be a pleasure.
Oh, it's the hat! Oh, don't blame him, sir.
- He was so busy helping me, that he...
I don't know if you happened to notice,
sir, but these things...
Yes, Simpson, I did happen to notice.
We have some casserole dishes
just like that at home, sir.
Oh, yes, that's right.
We used to put our dumpings in them.
We use them for the same reason here.
second crescent of the moon enters
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"That's Carry On" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 1 Apr. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/that%27s_carry_on_19603>.