Thank You for Your Service

I was a good soldier.

I had purpose,

and I loved it.

I rode shotgun

in a lead Humvee,

and I looked for bombs.

You don't see the bomb

unless they want you to.

You sense it.

You just know.

I avoided the bomb that day...

But led us right

into an ambush.

- That's how Emory happened.

- Clear.

F***.

Man down!

Hang on, Emory. I got you.

Hang on, Emory.

Hang on.

I got you.

Hang on, buddy. Hang on.

Uh, 1-4-1-3-1-7.

Roger that. Waiting on 1-1.

Oh, my god.

Why are fat people so funny?

I swear, the funniest f***ers

that ever lived,

they're always...

They're always

fat motherfuckers, you know?

What, is that why

you're getting out?

You're gonna get fat?

Yeah. Yeah.

- I'm getting fat.

- Chappelle isn't fat.

- Then you got Chris rock...

- Nah, nah, you're doing...

- You're doing a black thing.

- What?

- No... doing a black thing?

- You're doing a black thing.

No, I'm not, man. I'm doing...

Doing a funny thing.

- What, black don't count?

- Yeah, nice try, samo.

You're barely black.

I've seen you naked.

Ooh. I've seen your weak sh*t,

too, boy.

One and done,

and didn't see sh*t.

Yeah, you've been one and done

your whole life.

This my second deployment,

dumb f***.

Yeah, if you had

any f***ing brains up there,

it'd be your f***ing last.

F*** that.

Army saved my life.

Yeah. Okay.

So, when's the bachelor party,

champ?

Oh, man, I can't have

a bachelor party.

You've seen me drunk.

- Yeah, you'd f*** a blister.

- So what?

Nah, nah.

My girl's not into it, and...

You know, I just don't want

to f*** this up, all right?

- So much for balls, man.

- Hey, look.

The bachelor party's none

of her business, all right?

That's our thing.

Look, i-i want you guys to come

meet her before

the wedding, though.

Sh*t, th-this guy,

that's all he talked about

for the past 11 months.

I feel like I'm married to her.

Dude, in that f***ing video,

when you're going

like that and...

- Oh! Ooh!

- F*** you, man.

- You serious?

- Yeah.

If she found out

you saw that, seriously...

- I just didn't know you're

left-handed. That's... -Dude...

Guys, don't f*** with me, man.

Seriously, don't f*** with me.

Hey, nobody saw sh*t,

all right?

- That stays here.

- It's a f***ing joke.

Okay? Opsec.

It was

a pretty great video, dude.

Hey, stay off the streets,

all right?

I'm back in the sand

in three months.

That's not what I said.

Private Morgan.

- Pfc waller.

- All right.

Specialist Watkins.

Thank you.

Sergeant schumann.

Welcome home,

sergeant schumann.

Private mcgarrett.

Specialist aieti.

Sergeant schumann.

I'm Amanda doster.

I need you to tell me

how my husband died.

Sergeant doster.

James doster.

Were you there when he died?

- No.

- Did he suffer?

What did he say?

I need to know.

Tell me how my husband died.

Nom, nom, nom, nom,

nom, nom, nom.

Can we get a pie?

Of course we can.

Eat your dinner first.

You girls look so pretty.

What about jaxy?

And jaxy, yeah.

That's a sweet little

jumper there, buddy.

I can't believe Amanda

did that.

She ruined everything.

Doesn't matter.

We wanted to make it nice

for you.

It is nice.

That was supposed

to be perfect.

We wanted it to be perfect.

It is perfect.

I'm here.

I got all my limbs.

I got all my pieces,

with my favorite girls.

And Jax.

It's perfect, baby.

I want to have a baby, sol.

You can't wait till we're home?

You are getting out, right?

They'd probably come after me

to reenlist, but...

Solo.

I'm just saying.

You back from Iraq?

Yes, sir.

11 months and 19 days.

You kick some ass over there?

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Where are you going?

I want to swing

by the old house.

Are you trying

to make yourself crazy?

Maybe.

How are the renters?

I'd like 'em a whole lot more

if they didn't live

in our f***ing house.

They're not watering my lawn.

We'd probably still live here

if you hadn't bought that pool.

Our kids are gonna learn

to swim in that pool.

Oh, yeah?

Are they gonna learn

how to swim

when they're teenagers?

Where did that come from?

We're getting back

in this house.

Hello?

Tracey?

Tray.

Baby.

F***ing...

This is Tracey.

Please leave a message,

and I'll get back to you

when I can.

Tracey, where are you?

Where's our furniture?

I'm trying not to freak out,

but I just got back, and...

The electricity's off.

My debit card isn't working.

Can you call me?

I love you. Just...

Just call me, all right?

This is Tracey.

Please leave a message,

- and I'll get back to you

when I can. -

Tracey, where the f*** are you?

How much we save

by living here?

Not enough.

Am I getting laid or what?

Oh, yeah, you're getting laid.

In fact, I might lay an egg

up in here.

No more eggs or seeds

or any of that.

Come on, you don't want

another one?

Let's see how you feel after

a weekend alone with them.

And where do you think

you're going?

- Hmm.

- Hmm?

You left three times.

Now it's my turn.

Well, I'm not leaving again.

I'm home for good.

Do you remember who we were

before all this?

Couple dumb, horny kids.

Pretty much.

Still dumb and horny.

With a couple kids.

How long you been up?

It's already 4:
00 P. M.

in Baghdad.

You guys ready

for some hotcakes?

Are you chewing gum?

When did you become

a gum chewer?

Tell me you didn't miss

my pancakes.

Smells good.

I need you to watch

the kids today.

Can you handle them

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