Sunset PPL

Genre: Comedy


I talked to Amanda on five

different social platforms.

I messaged WhatsApp, Facebook, Snapchat,

GChat, not to mention

that one time on LinkedIn

when I endorsed her bartending skills...

which was, in reality, a complete lie,

because she's a terrible mixologist.

We text late into the night

about music, art, culture, cuisine...

my emotions on a roller coaster ride

with every buzz of my phone.

Three months of this,

and for the life of me,

I can't get her to commit to a date.

What's that?

Seriously? Was anyone listening?

Just do us all a favor,

and kill yourself.

That line should be "murder yourself."

Just do ourselves a

favor, and murder yourself.

Sorry, Jack, I'm doing like

ten other things around here.

Andrea, your mother on my call.

She says she's concerned about

the rash on Robbie's inner thigh.

- Your mother's gonna get me fired.

- Oh, Lord.

To be fair, it's a pretty legit rash.

Hey, guys, can we top messing

around here? This is pretty serious.


Really good, Veronica.

See, it's all about being truthful.

- Okay, awesome.

- Oh, my God.

- This chick is terrible.

- You guys hear that?

- Soy milk.

- Sorry. So anyway.

Back to Amanda.

You may want to ease up

on those texts, Jack.

She's already been written up twice.

Jack, you need to turn

this online exchange of ones and zeros

into an off-line

exchange of bodily fluids.


Okay, the thing is,

Every time I bring up

actually doing something

in real life, she's always like,

"Sure, sounds good.

"Text me when you're there.

Uh-oh, something came up."

She's just super flaky.

It's easy to be flaky

when you can hide behind a screen.

For example, my old college roommate

has been messaging me

on Facebook all day.

Rather than telling her I'm busy

like a decent human being,

I just ignore her.

That's life.

I need some of Andrea's

avocado body butter.

Wait, hold up.

Have you actually straight up

asked this girl out on a date?

Like, with a specific location and time?

Um, isn't that kind of forward?

Ask her to go glow in the dark bowling.

It's a very popular

first date destination.

Just text her "Glow

in the dark bowling,"

period, "Tomorrow. Period," period.

"Period," as in "That's

it," not double period.

Don't you dare put a double period.

I don't know.

- I need a second to think.

- Come on, Jack.

You got to put yourself out there.

We're all here for you.

- Andrea, line two.

- Got to go.

This is Andrea.

Andrea. Oh, thank God.

I don't think my messages

have been going through.

It... it's me, Talia.


I don't understand why everything

has to be so difficult.

I... I don't think I'm asking for much.

Guess what?

I'm in L.A.

Where... where in L.A.?

I just want to have a

face-to-face conversation

with a female girl of the opposite sex

for once in my life.

I need some fresh air.

[door slams]

[whispering] There's a girl outside.

- Sorry, I wasn't expecting...

- Both:

- Guests today.

- Excuse me.

- Yeah, get it.

- Yeah, just let me...

- Thank you.

- There you go.

- Appreciate it.

- Hey.

Yours or Andrea's?

What do you think?

- Andrea.

- Hey.


[laughs] It's been so long.

So long.

Have you met everyone?

Yeah. Well, kind of.

Guys, this is Talia,

my former roommate from NYU.



what are you doing in L.A.?

I kind of walked out of my

major thesis presentation.

You did what?

Oh, my PhD at Harvard.

I was standing in front

of all my colleagues

and the dean of my college,

the entire mathematics department...

Lecturing on model theory, obviously.


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Aaron Colom


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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Sunset PPL" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 5 Dec. 2020. <>.

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