Suicide Kings

Synopsis: Ex-mob boss Christopher Walken is kidnapped by a group of four kids in a haphazard attempt at paying the ransom for another, separate kidnapping. Complexities arise as the group cannot seem to do anything right.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Mystery
Director(s): Peter O'Fallon
Production: Artisan Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
106 min

You've got to

find yourself a

Place to stay


The signs that

used to be there

Aren't anymore

Deeper, go

Know you're mine

Deeper go, go ahead

and make my day

You've got to

find another

Piece of wax


Cab !

Where ya going?

He's goin' up to 59th.

Take him there, okay?

Hey, good boots.

You like those, huh?

What's that, ostrich ?

No, you know what that is ?


You're wearing

fish boots ?

Yeah, well,

they're really


See ya later, boss.

Here's your invitation

Swing with us

the cocktail nation


And on your face

you'll wear a smile

Martini style

Oh, mr. Barret.

And if your

everyday world

Has got you down

Then you need somethin'

to pick you up

Nice to see you.

Off the ground

So make

your reservation

There's no time

for hesitation


And take your place

for a while

Jennifer, jennifer.

You're all wet,

mr. Barret.

- Well, it's raining outside.

- It's warm and dry in here.

Well, warm, anyway.

You know how gorgeous you are ?

What are you doin' hanging

around a place like this ?

You could be

a model.

Same as you, i guess.

It's a classy place.

I meet a lot of nice people.

Nice like me ?

No one's as nice

as you, Charlie.


Hey, mr. Barret.

Hey, mr. Barret.


Marcus, what's this ?

Don't worry.

I'll... Take care of it.

Just ask 'em to leave.

She said in front

of everybody,

she said, "jay,

You're hung

like a hamster."

Hey, guys,

party's over.

Let's go.

Oh, come on. Look,

i told you five minutes.

Give us our five minutes.

Yeah, well, i'm tellin' younow.

We haven't even finished

our drinks yet.


Go finish up at the bar.

Brett's in the jake.

When he gets back,

we'll split.

I told

you this table was reserved.

That's okay.

Take your time.

Finish up. It's okay.

Sure, mr. Barret ?

Yeah, yeah.

No, mr. Bartolucci,

really, it's, uh--

we had no idea.

It's no problem.

We'll move.


These days

the name is barret.

Good to see you.

Nice to

meet you, sir.

This is Max minot,

and avery chasten.


Avery chasten ?

That's a famous name

in these parts.

Any relation ?

Yeah, he's my father.

Good for you.

I'm sorry, sir.

Could we buy you

a drink ?

Do you mind ?

I'll sit until

your friend comes back.


Maker's mark ?


You guys

got heinekins ?


Avery, you know,

I met your father

two, three years ago

at a fund raiser.

Generous man.

He's got good instincts,

i bet, huh ?

Oh, you know.

He's a big fan

of anything deductible.

Well, me too.

I'd like to talk

to him sometime.

I got ventures

he might want

to capitalize on.

Really ?


Holy sh*t !

you're carlo bartolucci.

How are ya, man ?

What's he doin'

at our table ?

It'shistable, actually.

No, it's not

my table.

I just borrow it.

I didn't know

it was your table.

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm Brett cambell.

How are you,

mr. Bartolucci ?

He doesn't like

to be called

mr. Bartolucci.

No, it's okay.

Charlie. Charlie.

It's charles barret now.


Okay. Whatever

you want to be called,


Maybe this isn't

such a great idea.

Avery, come on.

We're a little past

the idea stage, man.

And every minute we wait,

you know what happens ?

Look, i know you guys

are here for me,

and i appreciate that, but--

What we're

about to do, it's--

F***in' call it off, man.

It's cold. We're freezing our

asses off. Let's get

out of here and get loaded.

- It's up to you, man.

- Okay, okay.

Yeah, you're right.

You in ?

Let's do it.

- All right. Good. Finally.

- Sh*t.

You got your cell phone ?

Now ? You wanna

make a call now ?

Yeah, it'll only take a minute.

No, no, no.

You can't make a call now.

I'm sorry. I told chickie

i'd pick her up

after dance class.

I can't believe this chick's

got you on a pager.

You are so f***in' whipped !

-Let's do this.

- I'm ready here.

I'm waitin' for you guys.

We should go.


Oh, Jesus Christ. We don't want

to keep your old man hangin'.

Where's the fire ?

You got a hot date ?

No, no.

It's my father.

He wants us to meet him

for dinner at peter luger's.

He hates anyone to keep

him waiting, so--

I grew up there

my whole life.

You got a pen ?


I got five--

five shortcuts.

I'll show you.

Take 59th street--

Guys, take a look at

who our patient is.

A f***in'

capo-de-capo, okay ?

Yeah, well, i'm just sayin'.

He didn't get that job

by kissin' ass, you know ?

Or gettin' f***ed

in the mouth.

Why don't you

come with us ?

It'll be a blast, man.

Come on.

Oh, you know,

i don't like to intrude.

You wouldn't be at all.

He'd love it.

Plus, you'd give us an alibi.

Pass. Next time.

I sent my driver home.

That's no problem.

I have my car here.

Come on !

what the heck ?

Life is short.

So's my whole family.

You talked me

into it.

All right.

Let's go.

Would you give us

the bill ?

No, it's my treat.

I told you.


It's our night to howl.

Long time since i been

with the guys.

-There's a problem.

-You're right.

She's leaking.

-What's the problem,

the chloroform ?

- No, not the chloroform.

But if the chloroform

doesn't work-- and it will,

i'm not saying that, max--

But if it doesn't, an injection

of haldol into the jugular will

put him away, definitely.

Into the jugular.

Who the hell's

gonna do that ?

Hopefully, nobody, but

if it comes to it, you.

You're sitting across from him.

- Why should i do it ? I don't

know how to give an injection.

-Can we do this, please ?

-Easy, man.

- Okay. Here we go.

Ready ?

You're driving.

Good car.

I got one of these.

Yeah, it's mother's.


They know how

to build 'em, huh ?

Take your time. Take it easy.

I'll take care of everything.

Long time since i had

dinner with the boys.

Queen's tunnel ! one !

doors and windows


What are you doin' ?

This is the queens tunnel.

Now we gotta turn around

and come back.

What's that smell ?

- Hey !

-sh*t !

- keep out ! watch out !

- The f***in' windows--

- it won't stay.

- Christ, he just bit me !

You think old carlo's

just gonna sit there

like that ridiculous doll ?

Come on, man. There's f***in'

three of us. There's

threeof us and one of him.

- Besides, he's old.

-Sh*t ! god !

- I can't hold him. Oh, f*** !

Be careful

with that sh*t, man !

- You're spilling it, a**hole !

- avery ! windows !

- Look out !

- Roll the windows down, avery !

- Hit the f***in' windows !

-Shut up !

- What are you d--

- f***er !

Max, do it !

put the f***in' needle in !

- Just stick it in !

Do it ! just do it !

- Keep it f***ing steady !

- Get him off me !

Get him off me !

What are you waiting for ?

Oh, god !

Sweet dreams, motherf***er.

Avery !

Nice f***in' air bag.

Avery, start the car.

Start the car.

Come on, avery.

Start the car.

Avery, start the f***ing car !

start the car !

start the car !

What the f***

are you doing ?

Avery ! Jesus Christ !

whoo !

Kraut cars !

they know how to build 'em !

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Josh McKinney

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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