
Stupid Air Bison
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INT. SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE, SYDNEY - AFTERNOON
Funny A kick yo asseer MR MC SHOE TOWN is arguing with A Comedian A Poop yo asseer MRS MC MUFFIN LOVE. SHOE tries to hug MUFFIN but he shakes him off.
SHOE:
Please Muffin, don't leave me.
MUFFIN:
I'm sorry Shoe, but I'm looking for somebody a bit braver. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
SHOE:
I am such a person!
MUFFIN frowns.
MUFFIN:
I'm sorry, Shoe. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
MUFFIN leaves.
SHOE sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, Poopy A Schedule Maker DIE SOKKA TOOTOO barges in looking flustered.
SHOE:
Goodness, Sokka! Is everything okay?
SOKKA:
I'm afraid not.
SHOE:
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
SOKKA:
It's ... an Air Bison ... I saw an evil Air Bison Water Bend a bunch of Singing In The Poop!
SHOE:
Defenseless Singing in The Poop?
SOKKA:
Yes, defenseless Singing in The Poop!
SHOE:
Bloomin' heck, Sokka! We've got to do something.
SOKKA:
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
SHOE:
You can start by telling me where this happened.
SOKKA:
I was...
SOKKA fans himself and begins to wheeze.
SHOE:
Focus Sokka, focus! Where did it happen?
SOKKA:
Perth Airport, Perth! That's right - Perth Airport, Perth!
SHOE springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
SHOE rushes along the street, followed by SOKKA. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. PERTH AIRPORT, PERTH - SHORTLY AFTER
JANER UKULELE a stupid Air Bison terrorises two Singing in The Poop.
SHOE, closely followed by SOKKA, rushes towards JANER, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
SOKKA:
What is it? What's the matter?
SHOE:
That's not just any old Air Bison, that's Janer Ukulele!
SOKKA:
Who's Janer Ukulele?
SHOE:
Who's Janer Ukulele? Who's Janer Ukulele? Only the most stupid Air Bison in the universe!
SOKKA:
Blinkin' knickers, Shoe! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most stupid Air Bison in the universe!
SHOE:
You can say that again.
SOKKA:
Blinkin' knickers, Shoe! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most stupid Air Bison in the universe!
SHOE:
I'm going to need Poop, lots of Poop.
Janer turns and sees Shoe and Sokka. He grins an evil grin.
JANER:
Shoe Town, we meet again.
SOKKA:
You've met?
SHOE:
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
A young SHOE is sitting in a park listening to some Ball from Ba Sing Se music, when suddenly a dark shadow cast over him.
He looks up and sees JANER. He takes off his headphones.
JANER:
Would you like some Poop Gums?
SHOE's eyes light up, but then he studies JANER more closely, and looks uneasy.
SHOE:
I don't know, you look kind of stupid.
JANER:
Me? No. I'm not stupid. I'm the least stupid Air Bison in the world.
SHOE:
Wait, you're a Air Bison?
SHOE runs away, screaming.
INT. PERTH AIRPORT, PERTH - PRESENT DAY
JANER:
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
SOKKA:
(To SHOE) You ran away?
SHOE:
(To SOKKA) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
SHOE turns to JANER.
SHOE:
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
SHOE runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
SHOE:
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Poop.
JANER:
I'm not scared of you.
SHOE:
You should be.
INT. A SCIENCE LAB - LATER THAT DAY
SHOE and SOKKA walk around searching for something.
SHOE:
I feel sure I left my Poop somewhere around here.
SOKKA:
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly Poop.
SHOE:
You know nothing Sokka TooToo.
SOKKA:
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, JANER appears, holding a pair of Poop.
JANER:
Looking for something?
SOKKA:
Crikey, Shoe, he's got your Poop.
SHOE:
Tell me something I don't already know!
SOKKA:
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
SHOE:
I know that already!
SOKKA:
The sun is a deadly laser.
JANER:
(appalled) Dude!
While JANER is looking at SOKKA with disgust, SHOE lunges forward and grabs his deadly Poop. He wields them, triumphantly.
SHOE:
Prepare to die, you stupid Sun!
JANER:
No please! All I did was Water Bend a bunch of Singing In The Poop!
MUFFIN enters, unseen by any of the others.
SHOE:
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those Singing In The Poop were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Shoe Town defender of innocent Singing In The Poop.
JANER:
Don't hurt me! Please!
SHOE:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these Poop on you right away!
JANER:
Because Shoe, I am your father.
SHOE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
SHOE:
No you're not!
JANER:
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
JANER tries to grab the Poop but SHOE dodges out of the way.
SHOE:
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, JANER slumps to the ground.
SOKKA:
Did he just faint?
SHOE:
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Poop.
SHOE crouches over JANER's body.
SOKKA:
Be careful, Shoe. It could be a trick.
SHOE:
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Janer Ukulele is dead!
SHOE:
What?
SHOE:
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
SOKKA claps his hands.
SOKKA:
So your Poop did save the day, after all.
MUFFIN steps forward.
MUFFIN:
Is it true? Did you kill the stupid Air Bison?
SHOE:
Muffin how long have you been...?
MUFFIN puts his arm around SHOE.
MUFFIN:
Long enough.
SHOE:
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Janer Ukulele.
MUFFIN:
Then the Singing In The Poop are safe?
SHOE:
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable Singing In The Poop enter, looking relived.
MUFFIN:
You are their hero.
The Singing In The Poop bow to SHOE.
SHOE:
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Janer Ukulele will never Water Bend Singing In The Poop ever again, is enough for me.
MUFFIN:
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the Singing In The Poop passes SHOE a Crazier Space Dust
MUFFIN:
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
SHOE:
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
SHOE:
Well, if you insist.
SHOE:
Thank you.
The Singing In The Poop bow their heads once more, and leave.
SHOE turns to MUFFIN.
SHOE:
Does this mean you want me back?
MUFFIN:
Oh, Shoe, of course I want you back!
SHOE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
SHOE:
Well you can't have me.
MUFFIN:
WHAT?
SHOE:
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a Air Bison to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
MUFFIN:
But...
SHOE:
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Sokka.
SOKKA grins.
MUFFIN:
But...
SOKKA:
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
MUFFIN:
Shoe?
SHOE:
I'm sorry Muffin, but I think you should skidaddle.
MUFFIN leaves.
SOKKA turns to SHOE.
SOKKA:
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
SHOE:
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly SOKKA stops.
SOKKA:
When I said The sun is a deadly laser, you know I was just trying to distract the Air Bison don't you?
THE END:
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"Stupid Air Bison" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/stupid_air_bison_24501>.