Synopsis: The clumsy and unfunny clown Richard "Stitches" Grindle goes to the birthday party of little Tom and the boy and his friends play a prank with Stitches, tying his shoelaces. Stitches slips, falls and dies. Six years later, Tom gives a birthday party for his friends at home and the clown revives to haunt the teenagers and revenge his death.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Conor McMahon
Production: MPI Media Group/Dark Sky Films
  2 wins.
Rotten Tomatoes:
86 min

What the f*** is that?

- What?

Is that an egg?

Looks just like you.

Yeah, they made me paint that

when I signed up.

Some stupid clown thing.

F*** me, clown! F*** me, clown!

F*** me, clown! F*** me, clown!

Come on, clown. F*** me, clown!

F*** me, I'm late.

I've gotta do some little bastard's party.

I need to kit up.

Close the door, a**hole!

Here comes the cake.

Here's your cake. Are you ready?

Blow out the candles.

Nine, ten! Yes.

Yeah look, I'll be back in about an hour.

Keep yourself on the boil. Aye.

What are you talking about, love? Yeah.

There's some biscuits under the sink.

Hey, you two. Not in the house.

- Go to hell.

Gimme here.

- You stop it.

Stop. Will you stop!

Gimme that.

You can see my house from here.

Happy birthday.

Tom and Kate sitting in a tree...

Get out of the way, you little bastards.

How do?

- You're late.

And you're f***ing ugly.

Just kidding, love.

Right, it's cash up front.

No dough, no show.

Right, here he is, Stitches the Clown.


Everybody happy?

Is everybody happy?

- You're an a**hole, you big dumb clown.

Get on with the show, you loser.



Right, who's the birthday boy?

It's a clown.

- That's gonna be worth nothing.

That's plastic.

Right, the hat of mystery.

Who, empty hat. Empty...

Now that's what I'm talking about.

What you want to see?

- A stegosaurus.

The balloons for the dinosaurs

are extinct. You can have a dog.

I don't want a dog. I want a stegosaurus.

- Shut it you.

You shut it. You're not my dad. Shut up.

- I might be.

Right, here we go.

- What is that even supposed to be?

It's a bloody velociraptor, isn't it?

Look, there's a bit there.


Fall in, men, fall in. At ease.


You're rubbish.

- I hate this trick.

Can this guy juggle?

How could your mother get this guy?

Right, kids.

Now it's time for Funny Bones.

Are you serious?

Say hello, Funny Bones.

"Hello Funny Bones."

Goodbye, Funny Bones.

Nice one.

- You are so violent.

Here it is. Juggling.

Throw it at him.

Finally this clown does something good.

You bastard.

OK, anybody want...

Get out of my way, b*tch.

Try and get some sleep.

You are not our charge.

But hear this. A clown that doesn't finish

a party can never rest in peace.

And the joke is never as funny

the second time round.

Six o'clock in the morning? Couldn't you

have found an earlier flight, Denise?

I don't know how I'm gonna

stay awake in the meeting.

No, don't worry.

I know my way around London.

Yeah, happier times.

Anyway, I better go. All right, bye.

Well, all under control.

Looks good.

You OK?

Yeah, just homework.

I got a maths test on Friday.

And you're not gonna be here

for my birthday.

Oi, you little sh*t.

Tom, I'm sorry, but if I don't go,

they'll send Bernie,

and I can't loose any more hours

to that c*nt.

If you're worried about being on your own,

call one of your friends?

Ask them to come over.

- I'll think about it.

What's the matter?

I don't like the look of it.

Happy birthday.

Do you have your lunches, honey?

- Yes, Mom. Just shut up.

How's it going? You all right?

- Don't bother.

Yeah, gagging for it.

- Yeah, gagging for nothing. Get a grip.

Cock-f***ing b*tch.


- Twat.


Kate, you should've been there.

Jammed four hours straight last night.

Fintan described one of my solos as

"brainal penetration".

I played so hard you couldn't

hear the rest of the band.

I'm thinking of changing

our band name to 'Dan'.

Fintan was so moved by a solo

that he wept four hours.

We had to play without a drummer.

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Conor McMahon

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Stitches" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 2 Dec. 2022. <>.

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