Still Waiting...

So how are things going with you?

Well, everything was going great

until they opened

that Ta-Ta's next door.

They've been taking

a lot of my business,

some of my best girls.

But the district manager

got paralyzed from bad shellfish.

Guess who's next in line.

I think I'm getting a little bored.

Guess who stopped by yesterday.

Who?

Mrs. Silverman and her son.

Tom. Hey, how is Tom?

Oh, good, good.

He was with his beautiful pregnant wife.

Is that so?

You don't really have

a beautiful pregnant wife.

Nope. Sure don't.

You don't even have a bastard child

with an ugly woman out of wedlock.

Mom, he's paralyzed.

That means I'm next. Okay?

That means I'm district manager.

Things around here

are going to change.

Just like they were going to change

when you became restaurant manager.

Good-bye.

Look, honey,

I care about you way too much

to let you work there,

so I'm going to have

to put my foot down.

Cool. You do that.

Allison, listen, I don't want you

to be groped inappropriately,

except by me.

Come on.

It's a gateway job.

Yeah.

What the f***?

You'll be working a stripper pole

within a year!

You're going to be a young mother

with lots of dollars in your pooswah!

What's up, stranger?

Oh, my God! Hi.

Hi, honey. Baby doll.

Oh, my gosh.

So today's the big day, huh?

Yeah. I finally took the plunge.

Well, do you want the grand tour?

- Yes, please.

- Okay.

I've never worked

in a place like this before.

You'll be fine.

- You know. Come on.

- Okay.

Hey, Josh.

- Josh.

- Hey. Uh...

Man, you look like unshaven sh*t.

Thank you, Amber. Thanks.

You're making a big deal

out of nothing.

It's not nothing. I'm haunted.

Every night, I have

the same Weeds dream.

Everything starts off great,

and then I get set, like,

four tables all at once.

Hey, there, folks.

- I'll have a Pepsi.

- Okay, Pepsi.

She'll have a sweet tea.

How about raspberry tea?

Is that all right?

How about no?

- Hot tea.

- Okay, hot tea.

We're catching a movie,

so we need you to rush

our order, okay?

Excuse me!

Uh, just one second. Yes?

What's your fish of the day?

We don't have a fish of the day.

- Did I say decaf?

- Yeah.

We haven't looked at the menu yet.

If I get the salad bar with my steak...

What is that, German?

I need a steak well-done!

The printer ran out of ink.

Whatever.

There's a problem in the kitchen.

All the orders were deleted, okay?

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

I want the salad bar.

Then I end up naked in front

of the entire restaurant.

You're a vagina.

You've just been working too hard.

Whatever.

Hey.

Miguel,

that's more than 3 ounces

of cheese, my friend.

We talked about this before.

Less queso.

More listen-o.

Okay, Allison. All right.

First thing we need to do

is get you an outfit.

Okay?

Uh, sizes are small, extra small,

and extra extra small.

Oh, uh, extra small?

Then you probably want

to wear an extra extra small

because management likes

your ass to hang out a little.

And by a little, I mean a lot.

Cute.

Oh, no jewelry.

Sorry.

Yeah, management says

it makes you look trashy.

But...

But they have approved nipple rings.

I don't know if that helps.

Uh, you get 50 percent off food,

except for desserts.

I guess that's about it.

Just, um, saddle up.

Cool.

- Here? I'm... now?

- Yeah.

If you have any questions

about anything,

to squeeze in anything...

You'll be right there.

...tuck anything in

or pull anything out.

Yeah, I... I think I'm good.

I think I'm good.

Okay.

Okay, Miguel,

if you're going to step up

and work under me on Friday night,

- you got to keep your cool, okay?

- Yes, ese.

Friday's the hardest part

of the job during the rush

because we also have

to do all the toasting.

And all the f***ing

French onion soups,

which, as you can imagine,

is pretty time-consuming.

Now, we get it all, okay?

So when the sh*t hits the fan,

and it's going to hit the fan, Miguel,

you better not freak out

or something. All right?

A lot of people can't hack this.

S, s. I know, ese.

And you better have

a sense of humor tonight.

Okay?

If I start screwing with you, just...

joking around or something like that,

or if you mess up and I call you on it,

don't run off and p*ssy out

and start whining.

You got to have a pretty thick skin

if you want to work with me.

Seriously.

Sour cream Sanchez!

Ol!

See, all over his...

Ahh, he makes me laugh.

Hey, Natasha.

You're looking sexier

than a bag of tits.

Thanks, Agnew. So are you.

Are you still dating Allison,

or can you see other people?

Who?

No, I can...

I can see whoever I want.

Speaking of, what time

you getting off tonight?

Actually, I'm getting off right now.

I'm not working tonight.

Man, that sucks.

Because wouldn't it be great

if we were getting off simultaneously.

Don't worry.

You'll get off soon enough.

Okay, we get it.

You two want to f*** each other.

Natasha,

go be a whore elsewhere, okay?

Agnew...

go plot your next date rape in the kitchen,

or your station's going

to be empty all night.

- Hello, Naomi.

- Hello, F*** Boy.

Hey. You got everything you need?

Good one. All right.

Hey, Hank. Heard you had

a little b-day shindig.

- How it was?

- It was all right.

Just a few peeps over

at the apartment complex.

Uh, any hot chickens there?

Or was it a pud party?

There was a few cuties.

Amber and Kristy swung by.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes