
Stanley Park
- Year:
- 2010
- 28 min
- 11 Views
(0.00 / 0 votes)Oh, shit. Have we started? Right.
Erm... Once upon a time,
there were a 17-year-old girl
who, even after staying
out all night, were drop-dead fit.
That girl was moi.
One Debbie Robinson.
Sixth form student
and undiscovered fashion designer
with a sideline in erotic novels.
Currently penning my latest
offering, The Spaniard Barman.
Having just spent
the night with one.
And this is Stanley Park.
The centre of my Croydon life.
Here I'd lost my virginity
on the swings and my
dignity under the slide.
to come in this story.
was my playground,
Stanley Place was my catwalk.
For t'were true,
my eyegrabbing dresses
always put me in't spotlight.
Cos not bein' up meself,
but they are bloody gorgeous!
See? Told you so.
But do bear in mind,
to pull off a dress like this.
The neighbours love it.
It's like witnessing
a sexual tsunami.
God, Rob. Take a picture,
it might last longer.
Poor Julie, though.
It's the wives I feel sorry for.
That's their son, checking me out.
All right, gorgeous?
And that there were an
invitation into his pants.
I'd have taken out
a mortgage to live in those.
Cruel!
He were one hot bastard.
And there's his brother - Lee.
You can't see that low, but he's
probably knockin' one out cos he's
got a thing for her. Raggedy Ann.
Hag to local fag, Bent Ben.
What you got?
High School Musical 3 Singstar with
microphones. It's not for me!
Look at them,
wishing they were me. Yeah, hiya!
They're both virgins.
Raggedy Ann's savin'
herself for Lee.
And Ben, well, he says he's
savin' himself for Penelope Cruz.
More like Tom Cruise.
And this is chez Debbie.
I came to live here with me
Auntie Pat three year ago.
From the moment I arrived,
I knew this place had trouble
written all over it.
Auntie Pat had independence,
wisdom and a lust for life.
A modern-day Aphrodite -
in Primark wet-look leggings.
We were like sisters.
Taking each other's reins.
That said, you can lead a horse to
water, but you can't stop it chain-
smokin' during aerobic exercise.
SHE COUGHS:
You all right, Auntie Pat? You're
having a right cough-up in here.
I won't lie, I'm not great. Flu?
No. Superkings.
You're workin' out a lot lately.
Nothing to do with a certain singles
page left open on the internet?
I don't know what
you're talkin' about.
Come off it.
Darlin'...
I cruise the net, yeah?
Not for a relationship. For sex.
You know me. That's all I want.
Whether it's in the toilet
at the Harvester or a
cliff top near Beachy Head
or the wardrobes
of an Ikea showroom.
Which Harvester?
Oh, the retail park. Look, did I go
for a quattro formaggio last night
with a man I met on the internet?
Yes.
Did he have a comb-over and look
like a paedophile? Yes, again.
I walked out. He was too needy.
Big deal. So, what did you
get up to last night?
You didn't stay for breakfast?
No! I bolted as soon as I woke up
and realised he was spoonin' me.
Creep.
Anyway...
I've got my eyes on a much bigger
prize. Oh, yeah?
Anyone I know?
If I smoke and only eat
when I'm faint, I'm
bound to drop a dress size.
Harry, do you remember
Danielle's wedding?
Honestly, she looked like a pork
pie in a Barbie dress. Oh, lovely.
Ain't it a bit early for all this?
It's after lunch.
Drink the Lambrini.
It's a celebration.
Oh, Julie. When he ordered wine
last night, I should have known
he was going to propose.
Although technically I didn't.
Yes, you did. No, you said,
"Are we ever going to get married?"
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"Stanley Park" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/stanley_park_18759>.