Spivak

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1

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

The Heliotrope Public Library

will be closing

in approximately 25 minutes.

A reminder that kids under 12

are welcome to stay after hours for our

annual children's Valentine's party.

Hey!

Wally!

How's the book coming, Wally?

I don't wanna talk about it, Peter.

Wally!

Sh*t.

Hey, Robby.

Um...

great.

Hey, you should check me out

on, uh, NPR this Saturday.

Bookworm with Michael Silverblatt.

Great interview.

You'll love it.

-Nice.

Karina!

Come out here.

Wally, I want you to meet

my new girlfriend, Karina.

She's from the neighborhood.

Hey.

So, Wally, any Valentine's plans?

Not that I can think of.

That used to be me.

It's amazing what having a lady

in your life will do for you.

It's one of the perks

of being published. You'll see.

Wally!

Wally!

Hey, Wally!

-Hey, Sasha.

Hey.

You okay? You look really upset.

-I'm fine.

Okay.

Listen, I wanna invite you

to an "unlovable party" tonight.

"Unlovable party"?

Is that one of those parties

where everyone without dates

gets together and commiserates?

It's fun.

You know what, Sasha? I'll think about it.

Great.

I mean, how polite is it for you

to invite me to this thing

considering you know

I'd really like to go out with you?

You're overthinking this. I...

Is that a surprise?

Wally, come to the party.

We'd love to have you.

Okay? There will be some nice women

from my graduate program there.

I'll e-mail you the details.

-Don't be crushed if I don't come.

Don't worry, I won't be.

Hi, Rex.

Why, Rex, why?

Another dog.

Hey, Wally. Check it out.

I'm reading Robby LeBeau's book.

It's a real page-turner.

Actually, it's kinda good.

I'm surprised.

You just got to get published, Wally.

Shut up, Rex!

The dog hates me.

No, he doesn't. He loves you.

He just doesn't know how to express it.

Garbage.

Happy Valentine's, Wally.

Hope you like 'em.

I brought some for Kevin, too.

-They are amazing.

All right!

Get dressed, Wally.

Three of us are going to The Elysian.

-Yup.

My mom gave me some money

to take someone special to dinner,

and I thought I'd bring my two lovers.

No way, Jesse.

Yes way, Wally!

Come on, we are not

gonna mope around tonight,

and plus, you've always wanted

to go there, okay?

The Elysian, on me.

Can we go on another night

when it's a little less humiliating?

No. It's not as romantic on another night.

Kevin's down.

He said I can order anything on the menu.

And you can too, Wally.

Come on, I made a reservation.

I'm sorry, Jesse,

I'm not gonna sit with you two

at the most romantic restaurant

on the Eastside

while couples stare

into each other's eyes.

Thanks for the chocolates. Come on, Wally!

The three of us can sit around here

all night and feel sorry for ourselves

or we can get out there

and have a good time.

It's Friday night!

Don't let this Hallmark holiday

bring you down.

Okay, Kevin and I will go alone.

Come on, Kevin.

It's no wonder you're stuck. You're gonna die in here, Wally.

F*** me.

That's it. I can't take this anymore.

I can't believe we're going home alone,

sleeping by ourselves.

Happy Valentine's.

No.

Guess there's always

Sasha's "unlovable party."

No, no. No way.

We got to get out of here.

We need to go where normal people go.

No. Tonight.

There's this guy who comes

to the video store, Mark Stein.

I know him.

Yeah. Well, when Mark can't get laid

for a couple of months,

he drives down to this great club

in Vegas, Friday nights,

hooks up every time.

You know, Kevin, if we leave right now,

we could be there by one.

Are you crazy?

It's Valentine's night.

I mean, no women are going to...

No, no, no. Think about it.

No single woman in that club

is gonna wanna go home alone, right?

They're all gonna be looking for love.

It could be the best night

of the year to go.

Yeah.

In a weird way, that makes sense.

So, what do you say?

I know I don't wanna go home.

I'm game.

And he's certainly in no position

to object.

So, yeah.

Luck be a lady tonight.

Um...

where are we Take a guess.

Uh, Las Vegas?

Surprise! But I don't wanna be in Las Vegas.

I wanna be in my bed.

Oh, relax, Wally.

You slept the whole way,

you didn't even have to drive,

you should feel refreshed.

I promise, this is gonna be

the best night of your life.

F***...

me.

How is it in there?

A lot of fun.

How much?

Twenty bucks.

This is love.

This is love.

I guess he's mad.

I'm mad, too.

You could have said no.

Look, there's Mark Stein.

Mark!

Mark! Hey.

Hey, Jesse.

How's it going?

Good, good.

It's, uh...

pretty dead tonight, ain't it?

It seems that way.

Yeah.

Thought it'd...

you know...

be really crowded.

Me, too.

I guess the single chicks

were too embarrassed to go out tonight.

You should have seen

the last time I came here.

So many hot-looking, willing girls.

Yeah, yeah. You...

told me.

The go-go dancers aren't bad.

-They might wanna mingle a little.

-Both married, got kids, not interested.

Oh, my god.

Is that Wally Spivak?

Yeah, yeah, Wally's here.

Wow.

Cloud over this club

is darker than I thought.

Hey.

Pardon?

I just... wanted to say hey.

Hey.

What's up?

I'm sorry, I...

I really don't have any money.

I don't understand.

I'm broke.

Oh!

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I am... I am not... that.

I just... I... I just...

-I didn't mean...

-No, it's... It's okay.

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