Spanish Judges

1

( shotgun click )

- Let's go!

- Yeah.

( gunshots )

What do you say, Len?

Can we just get out

of here and go home?

Let's go home.

How you doing, Lenny?

Bobby.

See, here's the deal.

Hand over the judges

to me, right now.

I'll see what I can

do about saving your life.

Who's gonna save

your ass, bro'?

Motherf***er!

( humming )

Mmmm!

Hi there!

- Oh, my God!

- I'm sorry, I just--

Why-- How did you get in?

The front door--

I came in--

I came through the door.

Are you a cop?

Do I look like a cop?

Answer the question.

Max gave me a key.

I'm his brother, Jack.

What?

It's nice to meet you.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I completely apologize,

all right?

All right?

( chuckle )

Jesus!

Ooh!

You guys have got

a great place.

This place, it's great.

Really nice.

This stuff here...

Which one ofyou

is the collector?

'Cause this stuff looks

like it could be in a museum.

Okay, I'm cool.

Max doesn't have

a brother, a**hole.

We're not that close,

that's all.

Shut up!

Argh!

You know, I really

wish you wouldn't do that.

Shut the f*** up.

Where is your gun?

I don't have a gun.

You have very soft hands.

You're starting to piss me off.

I don't want to hurt you.

I didn't come here

to steal any of your sh*t--

- What did you have in mind?

- Nothing, I'm Max's brother--

Okay, now I'm pissed off!

Max's brother wouldn't be

carrying a little thing like that.

I don't have a complex

about the size of my knife.

Maybe you should.

Max has a knife.

He has a very big knife.

I remember the size

of my brother's knife.

You're Jamie.

He met you in New Orleans, the

summer he was doing long hauls.

It was five years ago, wasn't it?

Five years ago.

He said you were crazy.

- Max said that?

- Yeah, he did!

- When did you see him last?

- Long time ago.

Last time I saw him

was the day he left home.

I was 16.

It was nine years ago.

When did he give you the key?

He mailed it to me.

Ah?

I understand he's been working

in the collection business

the past couple ofyears.

- So?

- I might have a job for him.

- What is it?

- A job.

Quick, easy.

He would make some real cash.

What's real cash?

I'll wait till my brother gets home.

That's a good idea.

We'll get along

justfine, Jamie.

I have a good feeling

about this.

Me, too, Jack.

I have goosepimples.

( bell rings )

Ladies and gentlemen,

the next item for bid

is lot #54.

An original 17th century

German presentation sword,

with highly polished straight

double-edged 34-inch blade.

I will open the bidding at $5,000.

Do I hear $5,000?

Let me hear five.

Here's five.

Max, that's your stuff.

You need that right now,

while I take that woman.

Lord have mercy.

Studs in the belly and all.

( man laughs )

You know what I bought

here last week?

A moose's head.

A f***in' moose's head.

It weighed near 300 pounds.

You know something?

My wife loves it.

'Cause they stole it

from Coppola's house,

and Coppola's her

all-time favorite director.

Ha ha. Sh*t!

Love, right?

That's what it is.

Ninety-five going

once, twice, three times

to the gentlemen right here,

number 77, front table.

Thank you.

( bell rings )

$20,000 and a moose's head

and she love's my ass forever.

I haven't seen

you buy nothing yet today.

You ain't going cheap

on us or something?

You used to be the fiercest

one in this whole place.

Always down there

in the front row.

Now your ass is hanging back here

with these damned cheapskates.

I can't remember the last time

I've seen your hand raised.

You ain't going cheap on us?

You're not broke, are you Max?

Oh, goddamn!

Oh, sh*t!

You're broke?

You need a job.

Hey, come over here.

Give him a size... Iarge.

And a hat to go with it.

That's a damned shame.

A grown man, ain't got

a pot to piss in,

or a window

to throw it out of.

I'm gonna have this thing

fixed up in a jif.

- Here.

- Thank you.

He's going to kill me.

I'm telling you, he's gonna be

very happy to see me.

I'm talking about the chair.

This thing's

not worth anything.

Don't tell me,

you work at Sotheby's?

No, I don't.

But I do know fine

things when I see them.

You want a drink?

Yes, please.

I'll have whatever

you're having.

- Good choice.

- Thank you.

So what do you do?

Do you work with Max?

Yep. Max and I

work together, so what?

- You're so defensive.

- So what?

There you go.

Look at that, huh?

Good as new.

I am good.

So, is this your collection?

No. That's Max's stuff.

I collect other kinds of sh*t.

What other kind of sh*t

do you collect?

- You know, the usual.

- Yeah?

Barbie dolls, baseball cards...

ingestible poisons.

That's cute.

Oh, come on.

- That better?

- That's much better.

Cheers.

Thank you.

You don't trust me, Jack?

I don't know you, Jamie.

( Jack chokes )

Let me see.

Oops.

How... does itfeel?

Are your hands getting numb?

Okay.

Are you feeling numb?

Here, how many fingers am I--

How many fingers am I holding?

That's all right, don't worry.

I'll just watch you.

It's okay, relax. Enjoy.

Be careful with that.

Be careful.

Well, always next time,

huh, Maxie boy?

Always next time.

Hold on, if you help me

load this stuff in this trunk,

maybe I'll give you

one of these candlesticks.

Light your way back home.

Plus two or three dollars.

'Cause ain't no romance

without no goddamned pot.

Motherf***er's broke.

Hey!

Sorry, Jack.

Maybe you are Max's

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes