Sorority Row

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Danny, give me my shirt!

Come and get it.

Don't you think that maybe we're taking

this hazing thing a little bit too far?

I absolutely do not.

Hey!

Cassidy!

- Hey, give me a beer. Come on, man.

- Get your own, pretty boy.

- Don't be a dick.

- Get your own.

Hey, move it, douche bag. Get out of here.

Mmm. Sudsy!

Hey, Chugs! Give me a beer! And a BJ.

Hey, what the f***?

Hey, no! You both, out! Now!

Some massive titties!

How long have you been a Theta?

- Do you want one?

- No, thanks.

- Hey, Ellie, up here.

- I got to go. Sorry.

It wasn't that hard a question.

A**hole!

- Where are we going, Claire?

- Hurry up. Jessica's waiting.

Goodbye, virginity! Yeah! Theta Pi rules!

I think I'm gonna be sick. Look out below!

Heather, get a room.

Hey, boys. Out, out, out!

- I just got tested. It's cool.

- Okay.

Cassidy, my room, Theta toast, now.

- Have you seen Andy?

- Hos before bros.

Uh, Claire, line up those shots!

None of that Jell-O crap.

Mama needs to get her buzz on.

Thetas!

This party kicks off our senior year.

But first, shout outs. Claire,

I like being your friend, because

it makes me multi-cultural

without having to do anything.

- That's so racist.

- Okay. Okay.

Chugs, I love you, because

you're always willing to try anything new

and you don't give a damn

what anyone thinks.

Is this a bad time to tell you

I boned your dad?

Gross.

It was after the divorce.

Ellie, I love you because you are

always there to help with homework.

You're like a spell check with a nice rack.

Okay, Cass, I love you

because you're so real.

That's just because

she can't afford fake ones.

I love you, Jessica,

because you make being a b*tch an art form.

Hear, hear!

Theta Pi, we honor thee!

From life to death, sorority!

Wait, wait, wait, where's Megan?

She should be here for this.

Oh, I forgot.

Let me show you something

that is sure to be a YouTube classic.

Gather round, ladies.

Chugs, grab the laptop.

What are you guys up to?

- Baby, I love you so much.

- Oh, my God.

Is that Garret?

I thought Megan dumped him

after he cheated on her.

Well, apparently, she took him back.

- What can I say? My brother's good in bed.

- Chugs.

- That's so gross.

- You guys are sick.

Did Megan get a little work done

over the summer?

What? You thought she gained

four bra sizes in three months?

God, is this all he's got?

Yeah, what is this?

The Dry Hump Olympics?

- Come on, guys, this is gross.

- Oh, my God.

Why isn't she moving?

We gave Garret a little something

to put into her drink.

Told him it'd help put her in the mood.

You let your brother give her roofies?

Come on, roofie sex isn't that bad.

You get laid

and you get a good night's sleep.

- It's true.

- Chugs.

Finally, we're getting somewhere.

- Ooh! Looks like he's kissing a corpse.

- Exactly. This is the best prank ever.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. Megan. Jesus Christ.

- Guys, what the hell?

- Baby?

- Holy sh*t, you guys.

- We got to do something.

- Baby, are you okay? Jesus Christ.

- Jesus!

- Let's go!

My God.

You guys...

She's convulsing and there's

sh*t coming out of her mouth.

- What?

- Yeah, I don't...

What the f*** did you do?

I didn't do...

I slipped her the pills you gave me.

I said give her one!

- I didn't know!

- Guys!

- She's not breathing.

- We have to clear her airway.

Why doesn't somebody call an ambulance?

There's no time. Here.

Give me the keys. Get me the Escalade now!

- I'm going.

- Claire! Hey!

Yep. I'm on it.

That is so hot.

Chugs!

What? No tongue?

Easy there, Lezzie Lohan.

This is make-believe, remember?

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