Synopsis: Enterprising liberal Jew Simon Cohen is the lawless lord of an Amsterdam neighborhood, running a 'coffee' shop' (legal soft drugs sale). As soon as they bump into each-other, Simon fascinates gay, up to then conventionalist Jewish dentistry student Camiel Vrolijk and draws him into his libertine world, even all the way to Thailand for B-movie making. Having seduced Simon's whorish girl, embarrassed Simon leaves quietly. Ten years later, the dentist, now settled with a gay partner, lawyer Bram, meets the new cancer-terminal but affluent Simon again.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Eddy Terstall
Production: Living Films
  8 wins & 4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
102 min

October 21, 2002

Either I say "No" or "Ok, sure".

What a line:
"No or ok, sure".

White or beige. But not off-white.

That's just yellow.

We'll discuss it later.

Now where's my parking pass?

That would be handy.

Hey! What are you doing?!

There are little kids around here.

Just lost ten points. Queers

count double. Cool pimpmobile!

Really? Well I think it's got class.

I'm just teasing. You're still with us?

Yes. Yes. You too?

Barely. I have cancer.

That's life. Who's this?

This is Bram. My partner.

In the private sense.

Hello. I'm Bram.

I'm Simon. Camiel's ex-partner.

In business. Don't get any ideas!

Yeah, I've heard about you.

Don't believe everything.

June 3, 1988

Stop squirming, man. It doesn't help.

Simon entered my life with a bang.

The story had begun.

Despite his kindness,

I was bit scared of him.

Anyone who drives like that

has to be crazy.


This guy is nuts.

- You want another appointment?

- Yes.

Me too, Nurse Verlaan. How about it?

I just love straight-up horny blondes.

I'm gay.

Better you than me, buddy.

Every bird has its tune.

Yeah, but you don't talk like a fag.

- How do fags talk?

- Like fags.

You know, with those hands!

- I can't see.

- Oh, just acting faggy.

Simon happened to run a local "coffee

shop". So I bought my weed from him.

Hey, how's it going?

Fine. I hope I can take this off tomorrow.

Spine's straight again.

He tried to score a header

with my car last week.

This is Camiel.

- Camiel's a fag.

- Yeah, so it seems.

It could happen to you, too.

- I do have all the symptoms.

- Does your mother know?


Any we find, we shove up your ass.

- Has that ever happened to anyone?

- You bet.

I hate coke and smack dealers.

Impale 'em on sticks, I say.

I'm against capital punishment. But

a creative life sentence with fish hooks.

It's a pity we lost to Russia.

We'll see 'em in the finals.

We'll beat them hands down.

Did you order extra crates?

Three won't be enough.

I ordered five. Should be enough.

Got your tampon in? And your glass eye?

Or is it still on the nightstand?

Wouldn't want to switch the two!


For Simon, "Whacko" or "Nut-job"

meant "I like you."

But his friend Marco was whacko.

Just before I met him...

a mushroom trip had him convinced

his tattoos were falling off.

So he tried to staple them back on

with a staple gun.

Holland - Ireland Live! It's "Life",

with an "f", right? Or it'd be "Liv"?

No, with a "v". "Live", like "alive".

Smart ass.

Hey, honey, what about the Santa hats?

Santa hats - negative.

You fucking me? Tried "El Phone Book"?

It's June, genius!

So, I offered to get Santa hats

and tinsel - in June!

The guys had a beach bar in Zandvoort...

and had an Australian

Christmas party every summer.

They'd travel the world in the winter and

picked up the idea somewhere.

They'd been everywhere!

The Yanomani Indians in the Amazon...

carving wood with the Trobrianders...

I spent Christmas in Australia,

so I'm used to this.

Thailand, too, but that's crawling

with Australians!

New Zealand...

This is Camiel.

- Sharon.

- Camiel's a fag.

Oh, nice for you.

And this is Sharon... my girl.

Whatever. Take the dog.

Has the pickled pussy looked over yet?

Jesus. That ugly Albino over there.

He runs the place with that

Bogus Brother. Crockett & Tubbs.

Mood degraders, let me tell you.

Simon used "mood degrading"

for negative cases...

Mood degrading...

and "mood upgrading"

for positive ones.

Mood upgrading!

Fucking Krauts! Gimme back my bike!

What d'you want, egghead?

I've just never seen

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Eddy Terstall

Eddy Terstall (born 20 April 1964 in Amsterdam) is a Dutch movie director and screenwriter. more…

All Eddy Terstall scripts | Eddy Terstall Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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