
Sex After Kids
(0.00 / 0 votes)So, from all the stories
you've collected
For your book,
would you say that,
In general,
sex after kids is terrible?
Yes!
In fact, the jury is still out
as to whether or not
Kids are good for marriages.
Period.
There's a psychological
study that says that
form of moderate
come into the picture.
I would say then,
the answer is,
Professionally speaking,
of course,
That kids are not good
for your sex life.
At all!
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
- Hey.
- Hey.
Finally get her to sleep?
Mm. Down like a clown,
Charlie Brown.
Excellent
- Mmm.
- I'll drink to that.
What's all this?
Well, I thought it would
be nice for a change.
Pretend we're adults, right?
Are you trying
to seduce me?
And you got some tomato
sauce on your chin, too...
- actually.
- Oh.
Babe, I'm covered in spit up
and I'm exhausted.
Can we try, maybe tomorrow
or later this week?
Yeah, sure.
That'd be fine, sure.
You're mad.
No, I'm not mad.
Why would I be mad?
Because it's been a while.
It hasn't been a while,
it's been a year.
It has not been a year.
Right, then it's been
359 days.
And eleven hours.
- No.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Really?
- Mhmm.
Okay, all right. Let's go.
Where?
We're gonna have sex
right now.
- Are you serious?
- Yep. Let's go.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
- That's nice.
- Yeah, yeah.
That's good, you good?
Oh, yeah.
Mm-kay.
So do you want, want me
to start now, or...?
Start?
What the hell
have you been doing?
I don't know, gaining entry?
Oh!
Okay, okay. No no no. No.
Stop. Okay, we're done.
This counts.
- What?
- Yep.
Counts? As what?
That was two strokes.
Come on, give a fella
Okay.
Ahh! No, no.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
We're done. I'm sorry,
babes. You're killing me.
with branding iron.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry, ever since
the baby it just...
Oh, okay, okay.
Okay, we don't have
to do this now.
- Okay. Okay.
- It's fine, okay?
- Just...
- What?
Can you just stop.
Just don't move. At all.
- At all?
- At all.
Don't move?
Yes.
Does losing my erection
count as moving?
Yes. So don't.
Babes, when was the last time
you trimmed your nose hair?
Can we keep this remotely
sexy, please?
I'm, I'm here
trying to please you.
Right? I'm trying to pleasure
you.
Aw, you want
to pleasure me?
Yeah.
Will you let me
sleep in tomorrow?
Sure, okay. Just...
Okay, sorry!
Hello gorgeous.
Vanessa?
And in the first
time in well over a year,
Vanessa Thomas is expected
to make an appearance
Tonight at the annual
Humanitarian Awards.
Tune in tomorrow morning
to see what she wore
Down the red carpet.
Hun? What are we going
to do if we run into...
What are you doing?
The limo's going to be here
in half an hour.
No. Its more than I need.
Here. Take.
Hey oops.
Whoa. He's burning up.
He's just a little hot, Sean.
The sitter will take care of it.
You look like hell too.
Well of course I look like
hell. Let me put my face on.
Oh, hon hon hon.
He got you sick!
No. We're going out, Sean.
We're going out
and I'm gonna have
The time of my Li...
Did you just throw up
in your mouth?
Hon, I'm calling the sitter.
No! You're being honored.
Yeah but... I'll just go.
No! We'll both go.
No, come on, hon,
Not some stranger.
No no, but Sean,
I bought, I bought a dress.
And shoes.
Hon. Be honest, you don't
do heels anymore.
Hey, you watch it.
I can still rock a pump.
I know. For fifteen minutes.
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"Sex After Kids" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 8 Feb. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/sex_after_kids_17855>.
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