Seven Psychopaths

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Was it Dillinger got shot through the eyeball

or am I thinking of somebody else?

Moe Greene got shot through

the eyeball in The Godfather.

Yeah, I'm talking about in real life.

Somebody in real life

got shot through the eyeball.

Who was that?

Well, no, Larry, many people in real life

have got shot through the eyeball.

I'm just saying

I think Dillinger was one of them.

That's really good aim.

- No, that ain't really good aim.

-How is that not really good aim, Tommy?

That's 100 f*cking cops

shooting 1,000 bullets a minute.

One of them's bound to go through

somebody's f*cking eyeball.

Eyeball. Eyeball, eyeball, eyeball.

You ever shoot a guy in his eyeball?

I stabbed a guy in his ear once,

ice pick, right in his f*cking ear.

Yeah, see, that'd be a different subject.

That'd be "ears."

- What's the matter with you, Tommy?

-Nothing's the matter with me.

Are you nervous because

we're killing a chick'?

Yeah, look at me, I'm shaking.

I got the chick-killing shakes.

The last thing the boss says to me, he says,

"Tommy, the moment

I first saw Angela's eyes, I knew it.

"I knew it was love, I knew I was f*cked.

And lo and behold, I was.

"So, Tommy, the moment after you kill her,

"please, shoot her f*cking eyeballs out."

Those were his exact words.

I got one exact word for that.

"Overkill."

I got two exact words for that, "Hear, hear."

I got three exact words for that.

"You're damn f*cking straight."

In Cuba, the torturers used to have a device,

two thin metal spikes,

placed here, that they adjusted,

and slowly, millimeter by millimeter,

pricked into the eyeballs.

You're kidding me?

Those Communist motherf*ckers.

Well, no, Larry. These are the ones

those Communist motherf*ckers kicked out.

What is it with you today, Tommy?

First it's should we or shouldn't we

shoot this chick through the eyeballs,

and second, it's you've gone soft...

Hey, Martin, it's your agent calling again.

Just wondering when we're gonna see

that new screenplay of yours.

I'm not sure what the holdup is,

but the old clock's ticking, buddy,

so give me a call, okay?

Hiya, Kaya.

Martin's writing today, Billy.

Should I just stand outside like a dick, then?

You doing yoga?

- Was.

-Can l watch?

What happened to you?

I got in a fight at my audition.

Who with this time?

- The director guy.

-He broke his nose.

How are you ever gonna get a job, Billy,

if you break the director guy's nose

before you even got the part?

I didn't mean to break his nose.

His nose was just in the middle

of where I was punching.

- I'm going to work.

-Are you pissed at me for something, baby?

Why would I be pissed at you, Marty?

- Because you're a cunt.

-Billy!

I don't remember

doing anything to piss her off.

Don't worry about it.

She's probably pissed at you

not for anything specific,

more because she's a f*cking bitch.

She's not a f*cking bitch, Billy.

She's just got issues.

Yeah, she's got issues.

She's got "being a f*cking bitch" issues.

When are you gonna get a girlfriend anyway?

Why do I have to do all this shit on my own?

Maybe I've already got a girlfriend.

A girlfriend I can't tell you anything about

in the interests of your own safety.

That just means you haven't got a girlfriend.

Proof be if need proof... Never mind.

Proof be if need be.

And how's everything

in the dog-kidnapping business?

Dog-"borrowing" business.

I ain't talking about that shit neither.

Dog-borrowing business.

Big boy.

His name's Abel.

- Hi. Is this your dog?

-Oh, my God!

- I have to pay you.

-No, please. I can't.

- Take this. Thank you so much.

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