Serious Moonlight

Synopsis: Louise wants to find a way to reconnect with her husband, Ian, who is divorcing her after many years of marriage. But when she surprises him at their country home, she is more than slightly dismayed that the roses and romantic set-up are not for her but for his much younger mistress. Louise takes matters into her own hands, and abducts Ian duct-taping him to the toilet, where he must admit to his true feelings and he is unable to leave her. Things grow exceedingly awry for everybody when a burglar shows up at their house, and then everybody must discover and admit to their true feelings.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Romance
Director(s): Cheryl Hines
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  1 win.
Rotten Tomatoes:
81 min

- Thank you.

- No problem, buddy.

Michelle, I threw

heck to the wind ...

and drove up to the

country a day early.

Wanna surprise Ian,

spend the long weekend with him.

So, I need you to call Metler ...

tell him his papers

were filed yesterday ...

and everything is fine. I will talk

to him first thing on Monday ...

morning and call my dentist ...

cancel that appointment and

re-schedule it for Tuesday afternoon.

And then cancel my meetings

for the rest of the day.

You know what to do!

That is why you are my assistant.

Is there anything else I can ... ?

- Hi Louise.

- Hi honey.

How is Chicago?

Your flight leaves in a couple of

hours, right? Can't wait to see you.

Yeah, yeah me too.

Excuse me, Lou. I am just about

to head into a meeting.

I'll see you at the

house tomorrow, OK?

Ya, see ya tomorrow. I'll be

driving up in the evening.

See you then. Bye.

Dearest Louise:

I am not spending

the weekend here ...

as we planned.

I have come to a crossroads


And I need to go away and

have some time to think.

Sorry I took this in a letter.

Please remember to feed the fish.

Remember to feed the fish?

No, no, no ...

I can't do ... no. Stupid.

Um, I am very sorry.

You're wonderful and

I don't deserve you.

- Michelle, listen!

- I don't know what you think of him.

His purchase is going forward,

that's what you need to tell him ...

over and over again

until he calms down.

- You should call ...

- No, I am not going to call him myself.

Michelle, there is someone

inside my house.

Oh, somebody quite romantic.

Listen Michelle,

no more calls ...

for the rest of the day.

I want you to hold all calls.

Looks like I am about

to have a lot of sex.

Ya, ya, ya.

Well handle it yourself ...

Ms. Harvard Bachelorette,

that's what I pay you to do.

Kiss, kiss, kiss.


You came back early.

Look at these flowers.

They're just beautiful.

You haven't done this

for me in years.

Business meeting

in Chicago my ass.

Oh my God. That is sexy.

- What's wrong?

- Please sit down.

- No.

- Please, please ...

- Louise.

- This is great.


I was in the middle of writing

it when you got here, so ...

it's ... you're a day early. You weren't

supposed to be here till tomorrow.

- Please feed the fish?

- No, I crossed that part out,

it wouldn't have made it into

the final letter at all.

What does this mean, Ian?

Louise. I ...

Why are you leaving?

What do you need to think about?

Why can't you think about it here?

I'm going to Paris.


Look, I have been having serious

doubts about this marriage ...

and I think that ...

No, you are not going, Ian.

You're gonna stay right here ...

and we are going to work

through this together,

as we always manage to do.

- No, not this time.

Who is she?

No, this isn't about anybody else.

This is about you, about me, about us,

it's nobody else.

- But there is someone else?

- No, no ... it's ...

Look at your hand

when you said "No".

Why don't you look at your hand?!

Where is your wedding ring?

And why are there flowers everywhere

and petals all over the floor?

Things haven't been

right between us.

Well, nobody told me that, Ian.

I thought they were beautiful.

And our anniversary

dinner 2 months ago,

you leaned into me ...

took my hand and said: "I'm so happy!"

- Yes I know. I was lying.

- You were lying?

- I was lying.

- You were lying? No, Ian.

- No, I cant, I can't ...

If you were confused

or unhappy ... ?

You decide to tell

me this in a note?

After 13 years of marriage ...

that's what I deserve?

I can't stand confrontation,

you know that.

I know it's crappy of me,

I realize it ...

but you deserve better.

I feel awful.

What am I supposed

to do then, Ian?

Am I supposed to sit here

and watch you leave ...

and not know why ...

and wait until the

divorce papers come?

I mean, what kind of

creep does that?

Are you that kind of creep?

And don't numb-out on me!

You are not leaving this house,

until you at least try ...

to work things out with me.

You are my husband.

That's the least you can do!

I'm in love with

someone else, Louise.

There, I said it.

- Stop packing, Ian.

- No.

I said stop packing.

I'm going to Paris first thing

in the morning, Louise

No, you are not.

You are not going anywhere.

which means I'm very sorry, Louise.

I said stop packing !!!

Uh, f***!

What the f***!

Have you gone completely insane?!

Louise !!!

Calm down Ian,

you're gonna have an anorism!

- Oh, my head.

- Yeah, oh I know.

I'm really so sorry about that.

I really am.

I brought you some water.

Fine, I'll drink it myself.

Ow, oh, ow, Ian.

Damn tooth I got a cavity.

Why am I duct-taped

to a f***ing chair, Louise?

Because my love, I have decided

to keep you here ...

until we can work this out.

I don't love you anymore.

Well, then you just

stay here until you do.

That's completely insane!


'Cause my life doesn't work that way.

You can't keep a person hostage ...

until they love you.

Oh, come on Ian.

I am sure it's been done before.

I love Sara, not you,

and that's not gonna change.

Sara, who is Sara?

She's the person I deeply love,

and you are making her

look better by the minute.

And I'm sure she'll be hurt

when you dump her,

but she'll live.

As a lawyer, you took an oath

to uphold the law,

but I'm pretty sure you are not

upholding the law here.

I could make a case for it.

Louise, I hate you, and I think

you are a psycho ...

and you are gonna be jailed

and institutionalized.

Yeah, that'll be

pretty hard to do ...

when you can't

even move an arm.

I mean eventually after I ...

- Yes, after you are free of course.

But by that time

you won't want to,

because you will love me again.

No Sara, no divorce,

no pressing charges, just love.

The way it was supposed to be ...

when we first took our vows,

you remember, Ian?

Yeah, you know, you are right.

Come here, come here.


Yeah, you know it's ...

Yeah, you're right.

It really isn't fair for me,

to just up and leave ...

without giving us a chance

to work this through.

Why don't you un-tape me, sit down

and we'll talk this out, OK?

You won't be un-taped until

you love me again.

Oh c'mon I love you, I do.

I swear to God.

- You're an atheist.

- I love you.

You're my wife.

Thank you.

Thank you for helping me see what

a stupid thing I was about to do.

Yeah. You shocked me

into reality, you really ...

you really did.

I love you.

- I love you, I love you.

- You are the worst liar, you are.

Your pupils grow

to the size of Pluto,

your brow gets all sweaty, you

can't even look me in the eye.

I love you, Lou. I do.

No, you don't.

You think I'm a psycho,

who you want to divorce

and prosecute.

I'm not an idiot, Ok?

Why don't you let me go.

But that will change,

my love. You'll see,

and we will be happy.

- Let me go you f***ing lunatic!

- Sara.

- Sara?

Sara, I am a hostage here! Sara!

- Hostage up here!

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Adrienne Shelly

Adrienne Levine (June 24, 1966 – November 1, 2006), better known by the stage name Adrienne Shelly (sometimes credited as Adrienne Shelley), was an American actress, film director and screenwriter. She became known for roles in independent films such as 1989's The Unbelievable Truth and 1990's Trust. She wrote, co-starred in, and directed the 2007-released film Waitress, which ultimately won five awards. In late 2006 Shelly was the married mother of an infant daughter and was waiting to see if Waitress would be accepted for the Sundance Film Festival. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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