See Here, Private Hargrove

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See Here, Private Hargrove (1944)

Man, screaming:
Hargrove!

Hargrove?

You see Hargrove?

No, I haven't, chief.

Don't add cowardice

to your other

shortcomings, Hargrove.

Come out, wherever you are

and face the wrath of

your managing editor.

Aha!

Something you want to

see me about, chief?

To say that I want to

see you, Mr. Hargrove,

is a crude distortion

of the facts.

The truth is, I'd gladly

pay a fortune

to any eye doctor

who'd fix it so that

I never saw you again.

Come in here!

I've done something bad?

Hmmpf!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sit down, Hargrove.

Not on my desk,

you chowderhead!

There.

Hargrove, I'm an old man.

Oh, you're good for

a year or two yet.

Maybe more if you

controlled your temper.

Thanks.

Hargrove, it's time we had

a man-to-man,

heart-to-heart talk.

Again? We had a man-to-man

talk this morning

and a heart-to-heart

talk yesterday.

Hargrove, what

have I ever done

that I should be punished

by having you on my staff?

I don't know, chief.

Were you good to your mother?

Kind to dumb animals?

I've been kind to

you, haven't I?

Sure.

Honestly, Hargrove, I

hate to fire you again.

[Eating candy]

That's all right, chief.

You always hire me back

in a few days anyway,

and the rest is good for me.

I think it's good

for you, too.

Yeah, but I want you

to be a good reporter!

You can write,

after a fashion,

you work hard,

you're sober,

you don't borrow

too much money,

you're honest, you're sincere.

Yeah, I know, chief...

but you don't bother

about the details!

You don't get names

and addresses straight,

you write a good story

and you walk off

and leave it on your desk.

You do a good interview

with the mayor,

and you walk out with his hat.

You... I don't know

what to do with you.

Another rejection slip?

No, I got a feeling that

this is an acceptance.

Heh, heh, heh. Fat chance.

What magazine would buy

the junk you write?

Don't worry about my

future anymore, chief.

"The president of

the United States"!

"To Marion Hargrove,

greetings."

You're drafted?

This is total war.

Just wait till the

Japs hear I'm coming!

Yeah, I know.

[Men all talking excitedly]

Well, what do you

say, stranger?

Should we strike up

a lifetime friendship?

Swell. Esty's the name.

Orrin Esty, candidate for

the position of private

in the army of the

United States.

Hargrove. Marion Hargrove.

Likewise.

Is this your first

war, Mr. Esty?

Yeah. You a veteran?

Oh, no. I did try

to enlist in 1918,

but a sharp-eyed recruiting

sergeant noticed

that I was only 6

months old at the time.

Tough luck.

Here we go!

Say, if either of you chaps

have forgotten anything...

shaving cream, toothpaste,

stamps, et cetera...

I happen to have a few extras,

and I'd be more than

glad to oblige.

That's very good

of you, sir, b...

and no money down.

First payday's plenty of

time to take care of it.

Hey, I thought we left

the Morris plan behind

when we joined the army.

Oh, this isn't business.

This is just among friends.

Mulvehill's the name.

Welcome, brother Mulvehill.

I am Marion Hargrove,

and on my right is

would-be Private Orrin Esty.

Hiya.

It's an honor to

serve you gentlemen.

Oh, say, just a little

introductory souvenir...

no charge.

Oh, thanks!

Swell!

Say, I'm going to have a

little laundry service going

after a few days at camp,

I hope you fellas

won't forget me.

Oh, I'll never forget

you, Mr. Mulvehill.

Say, haven't you got

some with almonds?

And now, men, you'll

probably be ordered to do

a lot of things that

you don't understand.

But in the army,

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