Scramble

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1

Now look at this.

The gang is all here.

Now it's a f***ing party.

Oh, frank, Simon, meet harry.

Harry, black Jesus, breaker.

Y'all know Lester.

Oh, and Quinn.

We have your money,

now give me Quinn.

Ah! Sexier, woman!

What do we pay you for?

Dance! Dance!

Dance! Dance!

Hey, give me more, give me more!

We went to a lot of trouble to

acquire this piece, Mr. Fertelli.

If you do not accept our terms,

we will find another buyer.

Threaten me all you want.

It'll be mine.

Open it, open it, open it, open it.

I want to see it!

I've been trying

to forget you

You're not the only one

Well, I've been trying

to regret you

You're not the only one

And I've been loving you

way too much

And I've been

loving you way too much

And I've been loving you

way too much

And I've been loving you

Hey, babe, what d'ya got?

Just a letter

from one of my students.

Oh, yeah? From billy?

Hot for teacher again?

Uh, that kid! Can't

blame him though, right?

Uh, breakfast is up.

Okay, these are the best

scrambled eggs I've ever made.

Perfection.

Bam.

Hey, is this about your father?

It's okay, Quinn,

it's better than he's gone.

Look, he drank vodka

with his cheerios.

He had lines of coke for lunch,

and did oxy for dessert.

He was in debt

up to his eyeballs.

You know, it was better

that this happened.

It was gonna happen anyway.

Someone was just gonna

off him, just...

- I didn't mean it like that.

- I think you did.

Look, Quinn, I was thinking,

you know, after the funeral,

we skip town.

You know, your father's

gone, we're gone.

I don't think we should

leave together, frank.

I think we should break up.

Is this a joke?

No.

It's better this way.

It's... no!

This f***ing car,

turn my hair into

bees' nests every time.

Nobody rocks a bees' nest

as good as you do, babe.

Hey, you have your way

with words.

I was never naive

enough to believe them.

Come here and look

at these beautiful babies, eh?

- You've got them?

- Mm-hmm.

Mmm, gives me chills every time.

I got this one from

this Williams Sonora place.

Why anybody would spend $100

on a piece of sharpened metal

is beyond me.

Found this one in a dumpster.

It's a little rusty,

but I kind of like it.

It gives them that kind

of infecting cut,

instead of just a regular one.

And this one, this one

is for cutting sushi.

Hmm, as long as it

can cut flesh.

You sure about this?

You know, you could

hop on the PCH,

be sipping pia colada,

be in Mexico by tomorrow?

It's margaritas.

And you know I can't.

- An eye for an eye.

- A life for a life.

Tomorrow we start living.

What are you talking about?

Straight abs right here.

Those are love handles,

my friend.

Love handles?

Those are abs, man.

Look who's talking. You're

about to drop dead any minute.

Oh, frankfurter!

- What's the haps, man?

- Quinn's talking about breaking up.

- Ouch!

- That's good news.

No more tampons

in the medicine cabinet.

No more kale smoothies,

no more microdermabrasion.

And, hey, you can jerk off in

the living room if you want to.

Rick, I don't wanna

jerk off in the living room.

You know, I don't get it.

One minute she's reading

this note from her student,

and then, I'm making eggs and then

she pulls out the break-up card.

You don't think

she's leaving you for him?

- He's seven.

- The eggs, then?

They were perfect.

That's why I say

stay away from women,

they ain't nothin'

but heartbreak.

Unless her name's Stoli

or she's a stripper.

This will take

your mind off of it.

Bam! New cush, fresh off

the vine from Tujunga.

Yeah, and how many times I tell you

this ain't a dispensary, numbnuts?

And if it was, you could

afford to keep the lights on.

Just doesn't add up.

I mean, life's a bag

of sh*t sometimes, frank.

Shanika done me,

I cried for a month.

You guys dated

for two days, Simon,

and that was

in the seventh grade.

So? It still hurt.

Oh, hey, just do it.

I mean, she been there

for you through everything.

Her dad just died. Give her

the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe she just needs

some space, man.

Space.

And as we gather

here, we commit to the ground,

return to the heavens,

a noble man,

a very interesting man,

and as he returns

to his heavenly plane,

for those of us on earth,

we ask forgiveness...

look at this f***ing guy.

Alcoholic, drug addict,

overdoses,

got a beautiful daughter,

you know what his problem was?

He couldn't make

a behavioral change.

...Returns

to the heavenly plane,

we ask god...

f***ing cigarette.

Boys, life is the process

of consistently dying.

You know what that means?

How you treat the issue

is the issue.

Some people are committed

to be bottom feeders.

He was a bottom feeder.

All his life he strived

to do something else,

tried to be somebody else,

but he couldn't make

a behavioral change,

therefore, he's in the hole.

Think about that.

Where do you want to be?

Do you wanna be a bottom feeder?

Are you guys bottom feeders? I

don't think you're bottom feeders.

For thine is the kingdom,

the power, and the glory,

forever and ever.

Amen.

Amen.

- Okay, can we talk about this now, please?

- Frank, it's not the time.

- What do you mean it's not the time?

- No, frank.

- Quinn.

- Not now.

Quinn.

F***ing bottom feeders.

All right, let's get this b*tch.

Quinn, stop! Stop!

This is our life, babe.

- All right, if it's space you need...

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