Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

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Scott Pilgrim is

dating a high-schooler?

Really? Is she hot?

How old are you now,

Scott? Like, 28?

I'm not playing your

little games, kids.

So, you've been out of high

school for, like, 13 years.

I'm 22. Twenty-two.

And you're dating a high-school

girl. Not bad, not bad.

Thank you, thank you.

So, did you guys, like,

you know, do it yet?

We have done many things.

We ride the bus together.

And we have meaningful conversations

about how yearbook club went

and about her friends

and, you know, drama.

Have you

even kissed her?

We almost held hands once,

but then she got embarrassed.

Well, aren't you

pleased as punch.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

So, what's her name?

Knives Chau.

She's Chinese.

Wicked.

So, when do we

get to meet her?

Oh, please,

let it be soon.

That's for me.

Hi.

You promise to be good?

Of course I'll be good.

Seriously,

please be good.

Am I normally not?

Hey, Knives, this is Stephen

Stills. He's the talent.

Hey.

Is she gonna

geek out on us?

She'll just sit

in the corner, man.

I mean, I want her

to geek out on us.

She'll geek. She geeks.

She has the capacity to geek.

Okay.

You're good.

Wow.

Here, let me

get your coat.

Hi.

Knives, that's Kim.

Sorry,

what was your name?

Kim.

And you play the drums?

Yes.

That is so awesome.

Knives, that's Young Neil.

Hi.

Hi.

What do you play?

Wow, Zelda, Tetris.

That's kind of

a big question.

Okay, let's start

with Launchpad McQuack.

That's not

the actual title of the...

We are Sex Bob-Omb!

One, two, three, four!

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Laminate the stasis

Mama, mama serpentine

I got a breathalyzer

And my body's clean

Yeah! Yeah!

Thank you!

Get ready

Yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah!

You guys are so

amazing.

She seems nice.

Yeah.

Yeah, she seems awesome.

Yeah.

Scott, if your life had

a face, I would punch it.

Yeah. Wait, what?

I mean, are you really happy

or are you really evil?

Like, do I have ulterior

motives or something?

I'm offended, Kim.

Wounded, even?

Hurt, Kim.

You? Hurt?

Neil, you were saying

about "she seems awesome.' '

Yeah, she seems awesome.

Yeah.

Before you hear some dirty

lies from someone else,

yes, I'm dating

a 17-year-old.

Oh, is he cute?

Does this mean we have

to stop sleeping together?

You see another bed in here?

Yeah. You're totally

my bitch forever.

So, the whole 17-year-old thing,

don't tell too many people.

Hey, you know me.

I mean, don't tell my sister.

You know me.

Who are you texting?

Seventeen years old?

Scandal!

That's not true.

Who told you?

Wallace. Duh.

That gossipy bitch.

You know me.

Wallace!

Who is this

mystery child you date?

Her name's Knives Chau.

She's Chinese.

A 17-year-old Chinese

schoolgirl? You're ridiculous.

It's a Catholic school, too.

With the uniform

and everything?

Yeah. The whole deal.

Oh, my God.

You guys haven't...

No, no, no, no. We haven't

even held hands yet.

I think she hugged me once.

Scott,

why are you doing this?

I don't know. It's just nice,

you know? It's just simple.

It's been over a year

since you got dumped

by She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named.

So...

Are you

legitimately moving on

or is this just

you being insane?

Can I get back

to you on that?

I do not wanna

be here at all.

This school

has boys, too.

I hate you. Even I would think

twice about dating a 17-year-old.

Well, she's only

allowed out

when the sun is up,

so I wouldn't call it dating.

It's more like...

Playtime?

That doesn't sound so good, either. No.

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