Say It Isn't So

Synopsis: Young orphan Gilly (Klein) finds out his lover Jo (Graham) may actually be his biological sister. After they break up he discovers he's not related and travels across the country to stop her impending wedding. Unfortunately the entire nation has heard the same story and thinks he's just after incestuous thrills.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): J.B. Rogers
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Metacritic:
21
Rotten Tomatoes:
9%
R
Year:
2001
95 min
$4,847,667
Website
7 Views

Looking at this picture,

I know you might be thinkin':

"Sure looks like a lonely place to be,

way up there".

If indeed you were, I'd have to disagree.

Truth is, when you stop to ponder it,

there's really no such thing as a lonely place,

just lonely people. That's what I believe.

You can be lonely any place:

up on a rooftop, at a big family shindig,

in a football stadium,

with 60, 000 other humans all around,

or even in a small town,

like Shelbyville, Indiana.

Now, I'm not sayin'

there's anything wrong with it.

In fact, loneliness is what ensures

the propagation of our species.

I think that's why most people get married.

Because they're lonely,

horny or out of money.

But mostly cos they're just damn lonely.

Of course, that is one hell

of a milk-toast reason

to link up with one person

for the rest of your existence.

But people do it every day.

They give in to their loneliness.

And the next thing they know,

they're trapped.

Perhaps I'm being too picky.

I talked to this counsellor once.

He told me that the fact

I was raised in an orphanage

has rendered me afraid of abandonment,

and therefore fearful of commitment.

Now, you can tell by my tone,

I don't think much of his opinion.

I'm ready to commit, just as soon as I find

that one woman I can't live without.

That one woman that gives

me goose bumps all over.

I simply refuse to settle for anything less,

like most people seem to do.

Like my boss, Larry.

Be a sport, will ya?

I missed Ruthie's birthday dinner last night

and she's makin' my life hell in a handbasket.

I know she'll go easier on me if you're there.

Come on now, Gilly. Do me this.

- Bring her a puppy, Larry. She'll love that.

- What the hell is this?

It's a Russian Pomeranian, Larry.

Nah, I don't wanna put

any American dogs outta work.

Come on now, Gilly.

Be a friend. Come on over.

- I don't know, Larry. Last time I...

- Thanks, buddy.

A slice of family life and home cookin' will do

your heart good. Bring some wine coolers.

We'll make it a wingding.

This is fine cuisine, Mrs P.

It's takeout, Gilly.

From Pizza Hut.

- Larry hates my cooking.

- That's not true, Ruthie. You know I...

- That's why he never comes home for dinner.

- I'm out there busting my ass.

If you're busting your ass, how come

it's the size of a goddamn beanbag chair?

If you put out once in a while, maybe I

wouldn't be seeking carnal pleasure in food.

All right! Call me old-fashioned,

but I don't think a child should be made

to picture her parents humping.

- I don't tell you about my sex life.

- You're not having sex.

- Are you having sex?

- Cher, tell Daddy you're kidding.

She's kidding.

She doesn't even have a boyfriend.

You don't need to have a boyfriend

to be having sex.

I'm just saying that a boy doesn't have

to be a friend to be nibbling my package.

- What? Are you...

- I think she's saying she's a whore, Pop.

- Buddy!

- Pervert! I am not.

I'm just popular.

Like Gilly here.

He doesn't have a girlfriend,

but I'll bet he's having sex.

Well, occasionally, sure, but...

Well, ultimately I believe in

waiting till one is married before...

How come you don't have a girlfriend? Dad

says you're confused about your sexuality.

- No, I never said that.

- I believe the term he used was "fagnostic".

- Right. Fagnostic.

- Larry!

- That's it! Go to your room, you two!

- What? Why?

She's just repeating what you said.

You always take her side!

You let her get her ears pierced.

- You try to stop her!

- I got my ears pierced because I like it, OK?

And I got these pierced because I hate you!

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"Say It Isn't So" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/say_it_isn%27t_so_17537>.

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