Saving Santa
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2013
- 83 min
- 127 Views
"Christmas is a day that holds
all time together."
I never really
believed it before now.
People take from Christmas
their memories of
happy times and sad,
past, present and future.
A moment on this one,
special day
could forever change
how you see everything.
BOY:
Dear, Santa...I have a secret Christmas wish
I know you know it well
It's something that
I want so much
I cannot even tell
If I believe
with all my heart
I know it can come true
But if that never happens
Still I'll always
believe in you
MAN:
Sweet, eh?We'll get to that kid later.
For me, my memories of Christmas
will never be quite the same again.
All I wanted to be
was something else.
Something better
than I thought! was.
This is my story.
And it's all true.
- My name is Bernard.
(SNORING)
And I'm an elf.
(EXCLAIMS)
(GROANS, MUTTERING)
(SIGHS)
Oh, no!
Mint chocolate cookies,
I slept in!
Not today, not today!
Oh, where the blinking...?
Ah, there you are.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(GASPS) No pants!
Wait! Wait up!
(TRAIN WHISTLING)
Wait up!
Hold the train!
Oh! (GRUNTS)
(GASPS) Huh?
(EXCLAIMS)
(ALL GASP)
Ah! Thanks!
Merry Christmas!
Excuse me, sorry!
Excuse me, coming through!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Oh, sorry!
Morning, Blitz!
(GRUNTS)
MAN:
Still no sign of theNorth Pole, Mr. Baddington.
(GROWLING) Where are you, fat man?
(ALL GASP)
What are you staring at?
Do something useful
and get my mother on the com.
(DOOR SLAMS)
There will be no need for that.
Mother, what a
delightful surprise.
You look even more
radiant than ever.
Luminous and brilliant,
like a... a...
newly-bloomed rose,
shimmering with dew
in the morning...
That's enough bottom-snogging
from you, boy.
This is hardly a pleasure trip.
Need I remind you that you have
Since you have taken the
Quickest Airborne Delivery,
the only thing you have
managed to deliver is failure.
Of course. It's still marvelous
to finally have you here.
Put a sock in it!
Christmas Eve is the busiest
day of the year for us,
and here you are, chasing
a mystical, flying elf!
I'm here for the presentation.
- Name.
- Bernard D. Elf.
- You're late!
- I know, I'm sorry.
and I forgot my pants.
(GASPS)
Yeah, I'm wearing them now.
- Down the hall, back...
- Thanks!
You're out of time.
And voila!
With my electrified
chipmunk decoy,
unwanted Christmas tree guests
will be a thing of the past.
One little nuzzle
of the nose, and he'll...
Good morning, everyone!
(YELPING)
Uh... Oops.
Uh, sorry I'm a bit late.
I'm sorry, Bernard, but
you've missed your time slot.
- Missed your time slot.
- Please?
I've been working all year on
this invention. It's my best yet!
Better than the mind eraser
invention from last year?
Santa sightings, unavoidable, right?
Maybe.
But what if we could erase them forever?
(GASPING)
Let's imagine that this
toy doll is a little girl
who's just seen Santa.
Now, one quick zap...
(ALL YELLING)
Who are you and why are you wearing
that ridiculous elf costume?
- Hey, I'm wearing one, too.
- Me, too.
- We're all wearing them.
- Where are we?
WOMAN:
Some kind ofChristmas nightmare.
WOMAN 2:
What is Christmas?- It took us months to recover.
- Months to recover.
remember his own name sometimes.
Isn't that right, Nutmeg?
- See?
BERNARD:
- Please!I've worked on this
all year long.
MAN:
- No.WOMAN:
- Say no. Say no.MAN 2:
- Don't do it.- You've got one minute.
Thank you.
(ALL GROANING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Ask yourselves,
what is the one thing Santa
can't fit into his bag?
The answer, of course, is...
...memories!
Christmas memories, to be exact.
Every year, millions are created,
but where do they go?
The get lost in our brains.
and projects it
right in front of us.
Exactly what purpose
does this serve?
Raising people's Christmas
spirits, of course.
(CHUCKLES, CLEARS THROAT)
I need a volunteer.
(ALL SCREAMING) Ooh!
I'm not going. Let go!
(GRUNTS)
Minty, thanks for volunteering.
(WHIMPERS)
Oooh.
(BUZZING) (GASPS)
Great Grand-elf's
chocolate-chunk cookies!
(GIGGLES) They were my favorite.
- Oh!
- Oh, this is great.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Don't be a cinnamon twist!
(DEVICE HUMMING)
Give me that!
(CACKLING) Yes!
Yee-haw!
Ooh, this isn't so hard.
(SPLUTTERING)
Sir, please, careful.
No, no, no, don't do that.
Let me. No, no, no!
No, not now!
Oh, man!
(ALL MURMURING)
Ah! Back on.
Just a small, uh, power surge.
Can you believe those Christmas lights?
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
One goes out, they all go out.
- That will be all, Bernard.
- All, Bernard!
But it worked.
It worked, you saw...
Yes, sir.
Merry Christmas to you.
And I'd better not see you back here
with another one of your
hare-brained inventions.
(GRUNTING)
Santech is only for
the greatest elf minds, not...
(INHALES)
...reindeer poop-scoopers.
GUARD:
Poor fellow.Poor fellow? He caused a
blackout on Christmas Eve.
Piece of junk.
(ZAPPING)
Ow!
(GRUNTS)
(DEVICE LANDS)
(MAN GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS, SNIFFS)
Hi, Dasher, hi, Dancer,
Prancer, Vixen...
Hi, Comet, hi, Cupid. Hi...
Donner, where's Blixen?
(GIBBERISH) Ooh!
(STRAINING) You're on
my gingerbread basket!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SIGHS)
translate to English, eh?
Oh, jingle bells,
I can't do anything right.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
If you're asking how
the presentation went,
prepare to be underwhelmed.
As usual, I'm a miserable failure.
knocked the power out in the room.
So embarrassing.
But I guess I'll just have
to face the Christmas music.
I'll never be one of
Santa's trusty inventors.
(GRUNTING)
(DOOR OPENING)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Ah! Mr. Claus, I'm so sorry,
sir. I'll get that right off.
Ho, ho, ho!
That's nothing!
You fly around the world behind
eight well-fed reindeer,
as long as I have and...
(GUFFAWS)
...and you get used to getting
hit with a few warm brownies.
Say, what's this nifty contraption?
It's a reindeer vocalizer.
(BROADCASTING GIBBERISH)
You made this?
How clever.
It would be if I could
get it to speak English.
Merry Christmas, Blitzen.
Are you ready to fly tonight?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
See?
(SANTA RESPONDING IN GIBBERISH)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Works for me, I speak
all languages. Ho, ho, ho!
Put down the brush
and come with me.
There's something
I want to show you.
Do you know there are tens of millions
of children who celebrate Christmas?
Every year.
When I started,
there were only a few thousand.
Ever heard how I do it?
Well, just rumors, sir.
I haven't been snooping,
if that's what you mean,
I swear, I don't go near the sleigh.
Except to admire it, of course.
And I found a cup holder,
which is a nice feature,
but I don't look at
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"Saving Santa" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/saving_santa_17522>.
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