Santa Claws
Listen, kid, I been around
a few Christmases.
- It's true.
- No way.
I swear on my life.
- All nine of them?
- Yes.
Now quiet.
Here he comes.
Wow.
Magical, right?
Where's his claws?
He--He's so fat.
It's his jolliness, Rigby.
That's why he's so big.
Oh!
Is that the record Julia wants?
How did he know?
He is Santa, Rigby.
He knows.
Hey, I'm gonna tell
Santa what I want.
Hey, hey, kid,
where are you going?
I want to say hi
to Santa.
No, you can't.
Santa's allergic to cats.
Well, hello there.
Who are you?
Hi, Santa.
I'm Rigby.
Shoo, shoo. Go away.
I'd love to pet you,
but I better not.
I... Hello!
Eww. Gross.
Excuse me, Santa.
Go away.
Shoo!
Oh, you made him
sneeze again.
Go away.
Cookies.
Ah, cookies.
Rigby, get back here!
Hello?
Is someone there?
A cat!
Whoa! Chill out, dude.
Oh, no!
Julia's record!
See, kid?
I told you.
He's allergic to cats.
Santa?
Oh,
I can't let her see me!
Santa, wait!
- Santa!
- Cats!
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!
Dang it.
Mom,
pop the trunk.
Mom.
Nathan has
a tree.
Tommy, please.
But, Mom, everyone
else has a tree.
Tommy, we talked
about this. Inside.
Hmm?
Little dusty.
Kittens, I'm home.
Hey, Tommy's home.
Heh. No.
No, I'm not gonna
go talk to her.
You go talk to her.
I don't know what to say.
You're Santa.
You're the one who
knows all this stuff.
Tommy!
Don't forget
to shut the door,
or the kittens'll
get out!
Get out? She's crazy.
Why would we want
to get out?
Hey, guys. I missed you.
And put the milk away,
or it'll go bad!
Okay, Mom!
Did someone say Milk?
I've been
starving all day.
Oh, no. Here she comes.
Oh,
this tastes so good.
Mom, it's Christmas Eve.
Tommy.
We don't even need
to get a big one.
We've already
discussed this.
Christmas is
just something
marketed by companies to sell toys
many of at the end of the year.
Here comes another
sermon. I'm out of here.
I remember.
You know I love you
very much, right?
And that's why
I'm not gonna lie to you
and tell you
Santa's real.
He was made up
by a soda company.
You have to learn
to be self-sufficient,
not rely on someone to bring
you the things that you want.
Okay?
Hey, where'd
you guys go?
That's why when
you do your chores,
you get an allowance,
so you can buy
the things that you want.
Trust me.
When you get older,
no one's gonna
hand 'em to you.
I know.
I love you very much.
I love you,
too, Mom.
didn't leave any food for me.
Let's make a deal.
the groceries,
and I'll post
my new article,
and then you can do
your chores.
Dust the living room,
water the plants,
and then we go
to dinner. Deal?
Deal.
Are yours
this much trouble?
You have no idea.
Ah, I'm bored.
We better
not go anywhere.
It's almost nap time.
- Quick Get it!
- But it's almost nap time.
- Oh, lighten up.
Ha ha ha! You paper towels thought
You're right!
This is fun!
- Quick! Don't let it run away.
- I got it!
Whoo-Hoo!
We gotta make sure it never
escapes again!
That's it guys!
Nice job, Mittens!
- Uh oh! It's still escaping over here.
- I'm on it!
- Hey! tear it apart.
- You're mine paper towel.
- Whee!
- Look guys, it's almost like we
have snow in the house now.
Oh quick! Grab it guys.
Not cool, guys.
How's it going?
What happened?
The kittens.
It doesn't matter.
Just clean it up.
They'll be out
of our hair soon enough.
Kittens,
what did you do?
Uh, we may have
gotten carried away.
I tried
to tell them, Mom,
but they
wouldn't listen.
Oh, yeah?
You weren't the one
I saw leaping
through the air?
Shut up, Hairball!
Enough!
Kittens, you know
Tommy and Julia
can't always do
everything for us.
If we can't show them that we can
take care of ourselves,
they'll...
They'll what?
They'll give you
a new home.
A new home? No!
They can't do that!
Yes, they can.
Listen to me when I say...
we need to take care of ourselves.
I picked a heck of a week to quit
coughing up hair balls.
Hmm, I'm hungry.
Did somebody
say food?
Tommy?
Always thinking
with your stomach.
Can you change that,
please?
Do you think Tommy
will put out some food?
No, Mittens. Mom says we
need to take care of ourselves.
I say we find
our own food.
No more loafing.
Huh? No more what?
Tommy!
Come on, Hairball.
Let's get that food.
Ah, you know
I would,
but it's
a little high,
and nine lives
is short
if you really
think about it.
Fine. I'll go myself.
Just try not to land
on your head if you fall.
Whoa, cramp!
Be careful, Patches!
Uh-oh.
Here it goes.
- Whoa, oh, oh!
- Oh, no!
Heads up!
Incoming!
Tommy!
Bail!
Let's get
out of here!
Sorry, Patches.
Oh, no.
I just mopped
in here yesterday.
Now I'm gonna have
to do it again.
I'll help you clean up.
No. You go outside,
and water the plants.
I will clean up.
They probably
didn't mean it.
I'm sure
they were just hungry.
I'm sure.
Outside, please.
And don't forget
to close the door!
"Tommy, do this.
Tommy, do that."
Why can't you do
something for a change?
Guys, I feel sorry
for Tommy.
Way to go, Patches!
Hey, it's not
my fault, Mittens.
It's always
your fault.
Shh! Listen!
What is that?
Oh...
My...
Gosh!
I thought
you two broke it.
We did!
Yet there it is!
It's impossible!
It's horrible!
It's the Devil!
- Run!
- Run!
It'll eat us all
in one bite!
Gotta go! Gotta go!
We gotta get out of here!
Go! Go! Go!
Right behind you, guys.
Hello, tail.
- Don't look back!
- Patches, slow down!
- Wait!
Gotta go.
Gotta go. Gotta go!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Patches, look out!
Ouch!
Timber!
No. Oh, no!
Tommy, how about we try to
keep the kittens off my lawn?
And that's my cue
to leave.
Okay, buddy?
Okay.
Sorry, Mr. Bramble.
I'll help.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's okay.
Now, Tommy,
These Santas have been
in my family for generations.
Creepy.
It's not creepy.
It's a tribute to the true
meaning of Christmas.
Sad. I have to tell a grown-up
that Santa isn't real.
Of course he is.
It's okay,
Mr. Bramble.
You don't
have to lie to me.
My Mom already
told me the truth.
She did?
Well, if you'll
excuse me, Tommy,
uh, I'm gonna have to find
myself some superglue, so...
Santas, hang out for a bit.
This chair is boring.
Let's go somewhere else.
Hey, where do you think
you're going?
No, not the chair.
We'll die of boredom.
Don't be so melodramatic,
Hairball.
- Hey watch the fur!
- Let me go!
No, no, no,
or you're gonna
get in trouble.
Hey, Trouble's my middle name.
Haha, you can't
get us.
Try and catch us now.
Hey, watch that fur.
Yeah, Mom just gave us
a bath.
- Judge Tommy?
- Yeah, since when does he hate fun?
Tommy, can you get
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"Santa Claws" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/santa_claws_17446>.
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