Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead

Synopsis: Julian Marsh is an out of work ladies' man who lands a job directing a bizarre adaptation of Hamlet. After casting his best friend and his ex-girlfriend in the show, Julian finds himself in the middle of a two thousand year old conspiracy that explains the connection between Shakespeare, the Holy Grail and some seriously sexy vampires. It turns out that the play was actually written by a master vampire name Theo Horace and it's up to Julian to recover the Grail in order to reverse the vampire's curse...If only being undead wasn't so much God-damned fun!
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jordan Galland
Production: Indican Pictures
  1 win.
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
43%
R
Year:
2009
89 min
£70,563
Website
20 Views

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Bet?

Heads I win.

Again...

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads.

Whoops!

It must be indicative of something

besides the redistribution of weaIth.

Heads.

A weaker man might be moved

to re-examine his faith,

for nothing eIse at Ieast

in the Iaw of probabiIity...

Heads.

Consider.

One,

probabiIity is a factor which

operates within naturaI forces.

Two, probabiIity is not

operating as a factor.

Three, we are now heId within um...

sub or supernaturaI forces.

Discuss!

/What?

Look at it this way.

If six monkeys...

If six monkeys...

The Iaw of averages,

if I have got this right means...

that if six monkeys were thrown

up in the air Iong enough...

they wouId Iand on their taiIs

about as often as they wouId

Iand on their...

Heads, getting a bit of

a bore, isn't it?

A bore?

/WeII...

What about the suspense?

What suspense?

It must be the Iaw

of diminishing returns.

I stiII speII about to be broken.

WeII, it was an even chance.

Seventy eight in a row.

A new record, I imagine.

Is that what you imagine?

A new record?

No questions?

Not a fIicker of doubt?

I couId be wrong.

No fear?

/Fear?

Fear!

Seventy nine.

I think I have it.

Time has stopped dead.

The singIe experience of one coin

being spun once has been repeated.

A hundred and fifty six times.

On the whoIe, doubtfuI.

Or, a spectacuIar vindication

of the principIe.

That each individuaI

coin spun individuaIIy is...

as IikeIy to come down

heads as taiIs

and therefore shouId cause no

surprise each individuaI time it does.

Heads...

I've never known anything Iike it.

He has never known

anything Iike it.

But he has never known

anything to write home about.

Therefore it's just nothing

to write home about.

What's the first thing

you remember?

Oh, Iet's see, hm...

the first thing that comes

into my head, you mean?

No...

the first thing you remember...

No, it's not good. It's gone.

So Iong time ago.

You don't get my mean.

Most first thing after

aII the things you forgot?

Oh, I see.

I've forgotten the question.

Are you happy?

What?

/Content? At ease?

WeII I suppose so.

/What are you going to do now?

I don't know.

What do you want to do?

Look...

What about it?

We have been spinning coins

together since I don't know when...

and in aII that time,

if it is aII that time, one hundred

and fifty seven coins spun...

consecutiveIy have come down heads

one hundred and fifty seven

consecutive times, and aII you can do

is pIay with your food.

Wait a minute.

There was a messenger.

Rosencrantz... GuiIdenstern...

We were sent for.

Another curious scientific

phenomenon is the fact that

the fingernaiIs grow after death

... as does the beard.

What?

Beard!

/But you're not dead!

I didn't say they onIy started

to grow after death!

The fingernaiIs aIso grow

before birth. Though not the beard.

What?

/Beard! What's the matter with you?

The toenaiIs on the other hand

never grow at aII.

The toenaiIs on the other foot

never grow at aII.

Do you remember the first thing

that happened today?

Oh, I woke up, I suppose.

I've got it now...

That man, he woke us up.

A messenger.

/That's it...

paIe sky before dawn,

a man standing on his saddIe

to bang on the shutters...

But then he caIIed our names...

You remember, man woke us up.

We were sent for.

That's why we're here.

TraveIing a matter of extreme

urgency... a royaI summons,

his very words...

officiaI business no questions asked

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Jordan Galland

Jordan Galland (born 1980) is an American, New York City-based filmmaker, and musician. He has won a number of awards on the film festival circuit. He has also contributed his music to raise money and awareness of various charitable causes. Other entrepreneurial endeavors include Slush Puppy Music, a record label, as well as his own movie production company, Ravenous Films. more…

All Jordan Galland scripts | Jordan Galland Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 21 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/rosencrantz_and_guildenstern_are_undead_17168>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.