Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead

Synopsis: Julian Marsh is an out of work ladies' man who lands a job directing a bizarre adaptation of Hamlet. After casting his best friend and his ex-girlfriend in the show, Julian finds himself in the middle of a two thousand year old conspiracy that explains the connection between Shakespeare, the Holy Grail and some seriously sexy vampires. It turns out that the play was actually written by a master vampire name Theo Horace and it's up to Julian to recover the Grail in order to reverse the vampire's curse...If only being undead wasn't so much God-damned fun!

Genre: Comedy

Director(s): Jordan Galland

Actors: Jake Hoffman, Devon Aoki, John Ventimiglia, Kris Lemche

Production: Indican Pictures

1 win.


IMDB:: 5.1
Metacritic:: 45
Rotten Tomatoes:: 43%

Collection Edit Watch PDF Buy

: R
Year:: 2009
: 89 min
: £70,563
: Website
: 22 Views

Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Bet?
Heads I win.
Again...
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Heads.
Whoops!
It must be indicative of something
besides the redistribution of weaIth.
Heads.
A weaker man might be moved
to re-examine his faith,
for nothing eIse at Ieast
in the Iaw of probabiIity...
Heads.
Consider.
One,
probabiIity is a factor which
operates within naturaI forces.
Two, probabiIity is not
operating as a factor.
Three, we are now heId within um...
sub or supernaturaI forces.
Discuss!
/What?
Look at it this way.
If six monkeys...
If six monkeys...
The Iaw of averages,
if I have got this right means...
that if six monkeys were thrown
up in the air Iong enough...
they wouId Iand on their taiIs
about as often as they wouId
Iand on their...
Heads, getting a bit of
a bore, isn't it?
A bore?
/WeII...
What about the suspense?
What suspense?
It must be the Iaw
of diminishing returns.
I stiII speII about to be broken.
WeII, it was an even chance.
Seventy eight in a row.
A new record, I imagine.
Is that what you imagine?
A new record?
No questions?
Not a fIicker of doubt?
I couId be wrong.
No fear?
/Fear?
Fear!
Seventy nine.
I think I have it.
Time has stopped dead.
The singIe experience of one coin
being spun once has been repeated.
A hundred and fifty six times.
On the whoIe, doubtfuI.
Or, a spectacuIar vindication
of the principIe.
That each individuaI
coin spun individuaIIy is...
as IikeIy to come down
heads as taiIs
and therefore shouId cause no
surprise each individuaI time it does.
Heads...
I've never known anything Iike it.
He has never known
anything Iike it.
But he has never known
anything to write home about.
Therefore it's just nothing
to write home about.
What's the first thing
you remember?
Oh, Iet's see, hm...
the first thing that comes
into my head, you mean?
No...
the first thing you remember...
No, it's not good. It's gone.
So Iong time ago.
You don't get my mean.
Most first thing after
aII the things you forgot?
Oh, I see.
I've forgotten the question.
Are you happy?
What?
/Content? At ease?
WeII I suppose so.
/What are you going to do now?
I don't know.
What do you want to do?
Look...
What about it?
We have been spinning coins
together since I don't know when...
and in aII that time,
if it is aII that time, one hundred
and fifty seven coins spun...
consecutiveIy have come down heads
one hundred and fifty seven
consecutive times, and aII you can do
is pIay with your food.
Wait a minute.
There was a messenger.
Rosencrantz... GuiIdenstern...
We were sent for.
Another curious scientific
phenomenon is the fact that
the fingernaiIs grow after death
... as does the beard.
What?
Beard!
/But you're not dead!
I didn't say they onIy started
to grow after death!
The fingernaiIs aIso grow
before birth. Though not the beard.
What?
/Beard! What's the matter with you?
The toenaiIs on the other hand
never grow at aII.
The toenaiIs on the other foot
never grow at aII.
Do you remember the first thing
that happened today?
Oh, I woke up, I suppose.
I've got it now...
That man, he woke us up.
A messenger.
/That's it...
paIe sky before dawn,
a man standing on his saddIe
to bang on the shutters...
But then he caIIed our names...
You remember, man woke us up.
We were sent for.
That's why we're here.
TraveIing a matter of extreme
urgency... a royaI summons,
his very words...
officiaI business no questions asked
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Jordan Galland

Jordan Galland (born 1980) is an American, New York City-based filmmaker, and musician. He has won a number of awards on the film festival circuit. He has also contributed his music to raise money and awareness of various charitable causes. Other entrepreneurial endeavors include Slush Puppy Music, a record label, as well as his own movie production company, Ravenous Films. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018