Romance and Cigarettes


When a woman bends over

a man sees a jelly doughnut.

Her brain expands. His explodes.

Dead on arrival

in her powdered jelly doughnut.



# I can remember when we walked together

# Sharing a love I thought

# Would last forever

# Moonlight to show the way

# So we can follow

# Waiting inside her eyes

# Was my tomorrow

# Then something changed her mind

# Her kisses told me

# I had no loving arms

# To hold me

# Every day I wake up

then I start to break up

# Lonely is a man without love

# Every day I start out

then I cry my heart out

# Lonely is a man without love

# Every day I wake up

then I start to break up

# Knowing that it's cloudy above

# Every day I start out

then I cry my heart out

# Lonely is a man without love

# I cannot face this world

that's fallen down on me

# So, if you see my girl

# Please send her home to me

# Tell her about my heart... #

One, two. One, two. Okay, go.

# We are beautiful

# We are not ugly?

# We are angry? #

Hey, honey? I'm home?

Brought you some cookies.

Pignolia nuts.

What's the matter?

Somebody die?

"If God's gift of grace

or the light on your face...

...could make me forget your vagina is wet."

Let me see that.

"To Tula, my Tula, my red flower of love."

What are you, a private dick?

How different could it be, huh?

It's just a hole.

You can't incriminate a man

over some words.

What do you think you're

gonna find there? Peanuts?

It's poetry?

Po... Oh, it's poetry.

Well, I'm gonna give you

some f***ing poetry.

Pink motels. White thighs. Deep fried.

Shake it, bake it, rotate it.

Swollen heads. Busted beds.

Empty lots. Dirty red twats.

- You just made that up?

- I'm deep.

A man is innocent till proven guilty.

I'm gonna lop your power helmet right off.

- Oh, you're gonna threaten me now?

- You whoremaster.

- You whoremaster. I smoked your ass out...

- No.

- two-faced Judas!

- I am not a whoremaster!

My brothers, they're the whoremasters!

Not me!

Ever since you grew

that filthy little moustache!

I am not a whoremaster!

Preening in the mirror like Maria Callas!

Put the cologne all over my back, sweetie.

I cook you chicken, fish, no butter

low-cal this, low-cal that.

I trim your nose hairs, you f***!

I swear on my father's grave, okay?

Oh, another whoremaster!

What's going on, Mom?

Oh, your father went on a beaver diet!

- This is not normal.

- Grow up.

Only a giant among idiots would marry you.

It's all in your head!

- What?

- What's in her head?

He's shitting out of the cup!

Will you listen to her?

Listen to your daughter.

Snatch hairs pasted on your lip!

You shut up!

It's between your mother and me!

Knock it off! That's not f***ing nice!

It's not f***ing nice.

Even Gogo hated you.

Who's Gogo?

I don't like animals.

I don't like cats. I don't like dogs.

I don't like birds. I don't like fish.

I'm like my mother. I don't like animals!

- Who is Gogo?

- Mommy's cat.

Every day you'll wake up alone.

You don't even like me anymore, do you?

I hate you with all the hate

that you can hate with!

Did you hear that?

Did you hear what your mother said to me?

Can you hate more than that?

If you can, then I hate you more than that.

Then go back to him!

Go back to your first love!

Go back to him! Go!

"I can remember when we walked together

"Sharing a love I thought would last forever."

I'd give anything if you'd

come back to me. Anything.

# I cannot face this world

# That's fallen down on me

# So, if you see my girl

please send her back to me

# Tell her about my heart

# That's slowly dying

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John Turturro

John Michael Turturro (; born February 28, 1957) is an Italian-American character actor, writer and filmmaker known for his roles in the films Do the Right Thing (1989), Miller's Crossing (1990), Barton Fink (1991), Quiz Show (1994), The Big Lebowski (1998), O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) and four entries in the Transformers film series, most recently The Last Knight (2017). He has appeared in over sixty films and has worked frequently with the Coen brothers, Adam Sandler and Spike Lee. An Emmy Award winner, Turturro has also been nominated for four Screen Actors Guild Awards and two Golden Globe Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Romance and Cigarettes" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 May 2021. <>.

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