Romance and Cigarettes
- Year:
- 2005
- 325 Views
a man sees a jelly doughnut.
Her brain expands. His explodes.
Dead on arrival
in her powdered jelly doughnut.
Dad.
Daddy?
# I can remember when we walked together
# Sharing a love I thought
# Would last forever
# Moonlight to show the way
# So we can follow
# Was my tomorrow
# Then something changed her mind
# Her kisses told me
# I had no loving arms
# To hold me
# Every day I wake up
# Lonely is a man without love
then I cry my heart out
# Lonely is a man without love
# Every day I wake up
# Knowing that it's cloudy above
then I cry my heart out
# Lonely is a man without love
# I cannot face this world
that's fallen down on me
# So, if you see my girl
# Please send her home to me
# Tell her about my heart... #
One, two. One, two. Okay, go.
# We are beautiful
# We are not ugly?
# We are angry? #
Hey, honey? I'm home?
Brought you some cookies.
Pignolia nuts.
What's the matter?
Somebody die?
"If God's gift of grace
or the light on your face...
...could make me forget your vagina is wet."
Let me see that.
"To Tula, my Tula, my red flower of love."
What are you, a private dick?
How different could it be, huh?
It's just a hole.
You can't incriminate a man
over some words.
What do you think you're
gonna find there? Peanuts?
It's poetry?
Po... Oh, it's poetry.
Well, I'm gonna give you
some f***ing poetry.
Pink motels. White thighs. Deep fried.
Shake it, bake it, rotate it.
Swollen heads. Busted beds.
Empty lots. Dirty red twats.
- You just made that up?
- I'm deep.
A man is innocent till proven guilty.
I'm gonna lop your power helmet right off.
- Oh, you're gonna threaten me now?
- You whoremaster.
- You whoremaster. I smoked your ass out...
- No.
- ...you two-faced Judas!
- I am not a whoremaster!
My brothers, they're the whoremasters!
Not me!
Ever since you grew
I am not a whoremaster!
Preening in the mirror like Maria Callas!
Put the cologne all over my back, sweetie.
I cook you chicken, fish, no butter
low-cal this, low-cal that.
I trim your nose hairs, you f***!
I swear on my father's grave, okay?
Oh, another whoremaster!
What's going on, Mom?
Oh, your father went on a beaver diet!
- This is not normal.
- Grow up.
Only a giant among idiots would marry you.
It's all in your head!
- What?
- What's in her head?
He's shitting out of the cup!
Will you listen to her?
Listen to your daughter.
Snatch hairs pasted on your lip!
You shut up!
It's between your mother and me!
Knock it off! That's not f***ing nice!
It's not f***ing nice.
Even Gogo hated you.
Who's Gogo?
I don't like animals.
I don't like cats. I don't like dogs.
I don't like birds. I don't like fish.
I'm like my mother. I don't like animals!
- Who is Gogo?
- Mommy's cat.
Every day you'll wake up alone.
You don't even like me anymore, do you?
I hate you with all the hate
that you can hate with!
Did you hear that?
Did you hear what your mother said to me?
Can you hate more than that?
If you can, then I hate you more than that.
Then go back to him!
Go back to your first love!
Go back to him! Go!
"I can remember when we walked together
"Sharing a love I thought would last forever."
I'd give anything if you'd
come back to me. Anything.
# I cannot face this world
# That's fallen down on me
# So, if you see my girl
please send her back to me
# Tell her about my heart
# That's slowly dying
# Say I can't stop myself
# From crying
# Every day I wake up
# Lonely is a man without love
then I cry my heart out
# Lonely is a man without love
# Every day I wake up
# Knowing that it's cloudy above
then I cry my heart out
# Lonely is a man without love
# Every day I wake up
# Knowing that it's cloudy above
then I cry my heart out
Oh, three o'clock, three o'clock.
# Lonely is a man without love
# Every day I wake up
# Lonely is a man without love
# Then I cry my heart out
# Lonely is a man
# Without love! #
What's the problem?
I'm a married man.
A domestic disturbance was reported, sir.
- Yeah, that's the problem.
- Name, sir?
Nick Murder.
- You ever been married?
- More than once, sir.
Yeah? What went wrong?
Everything, sir. Am now once again.
Third wife, sir.
No, no, no, one wife, that's all a man's
meant to have. One wife. It's enough.
Yes, sir.
What's with all the "sir" sh*t?
Military habit, sir.
Oh, yeah? What branch?
Navy. Sound off!
Rat sh*t. Bat sh*t. Dirty old twat.
Sixty-nine a**holes tied in a knot.
Eat, bite, suck, f***, nibble, gobble, chew.
I'm a f***ing paratrooper!
Who the f*** are you? Sir!
- Marriage is combat, son.
- Yes, sir.
- And not clean combat.
- No, sir.
She's got her territory in there, I've got mine.
She's got her army back in there.
I'm out here alone.
There's no prayer in that animal.
- He's a selfish man, Ma.
- Something should be done about him.
Drink some water.
I live in fear when he's around.
I love you, Ma. I love you so much.
I love you so much with all my heart
and soul. I love you more than my real mom.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Romance and Cigarettes" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/romance_and_cigarettes_17119>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In