
Robot Chicken: Star Wars
- TV-14
- Year:
- 2007
- 30 min
- 368 Views
What in the is --
The whole senate!
True story!
My God, that is so funny.
You made it come
out of my nose.
Go for papa palpatine.
You have a collect call from...
Darth vader.
I got to take this.
Hold on.
Vader, how's my favorite sith?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Whoa.
Just slow down.
What do you mean,
they blew up the death star?
Who's "they"?
What the hell
is an aluminum falcon?
Okay, okay, so who's left?
Are you me?
Well, where are you?
Wait a sec,
you been flying around
for two weeks trying
to get a signal?
You must smell like feet wrapped
in leathery, burnt bacon.
I-I'm sorry.
I thought my dark lord of the
sith could protect
a small thermal-exhaust port
that's only two meters wide.
That thing wasn't even fully
paid off yet.
Do you have any idea what this
is gonna do to my credit?
Hang on, I got another call.
What?!
I'm very busy right now!
Well, where are they going?
All right.
Um, just get me a Turkey club.
Cole slaw, I guess.
I'm not even gonna eat it.
What are you getting?
No, see, I always order
the wrong thing.
No, no, no,
I'll just stick with that.
Okay, bye.
W-what?
Cherry coke.
Thanks.
Sorry about that.
What?
"just rebuild it"?
Real original.
And who's gonna give me a loan,
jackhole?
You?
You got an atm on that torso
lite-brite?
"Now get your 7'2" asthmatic
ass back here,
or I'm gonna tell everyone what
a whiny bitch
panda bear
or whatever the hell
her name is.
Jeez, he's crying.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on, don't do that.
Just -- just -- look,
I'm just dealing with a lot of
crap right now.
Death star blown up by a bunch
of teenagers, you know?
I didn't mean to snap.
O-okay, just get back here.
Okay.
Okay, bye.
Y-- I --
I love you, too.
What'll it be, pal?
Martini!
Jee-- my God.
I got to get that
transfer to coruscant.
I guess we'll have to eat
this boring oatmeal.
It's a trap!
Wow! Admiral ackbar!
Colorful marshmallows!
Imitation crab meat!
Your tongues can't repel flavor
of that magnitude.
Admiral ackbar cereal,
now with brine shrimp.
Whazuuuuup, ponda!
Let's bust out early
and hit that new cantina
across the street.
Come on!
One drink ain't gonna kill you.
He doesn't like you.
I'm sorry.
I don't like you, either.
We're wanted men.
12 systems.
I'll be careful.
You'll be dead!
Gee, ponda,
I just don't see how
you can keep designing with
no drawing arm.
I'm sorry,
but we have to let you go.
-- dear.
My keys.
It's almost open.
Hold on to this.
Whoa, coming through!
The wall's on fire!
What was that?
It was a lightsaber!
This is my first day!
What the --
Little help?
Welcome to orientation day
here on the jolly,
old death star.
There are a few things
we want to go over
with you concerning
lord vader.
First and foremost, he thinks he
Truth is, he doesn't.
If he ever realized this,
he would kill us
with his lightsaber.
Thus, to keep us safe, we'll all
pretend to get strangled.
Okay, let's try a practice.
Commander Winston here will
assist me.
I'm going to hold out my hand
like lord vader,
and he will pretend to be
strangled.
Gasping for air.
Grabs throat, yes.
Eyes back, and he's down.
Good show, commander.
Now two of the floor chiefs will
retrieve the corpse,
redress him, add a mustache,
and he's back to work
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Citation
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"Robot Chicken: Star Wars" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/robot_chicken:_star_wars_17062>.