Road to Rio

Synopsis: Scat Sweeney, and Hot Lips Barton, two out of work musicians, stow away on board a Rio bound ship, after accidentally setting fire to the big top of a circus. They then get mixed up with a potential suicide Lucia, who first thanks them, then unexpectedly turns them over to the ship's captain. When they find out that she has been hypnotized, to go through a marriage of convenience, when the ship reaches Rio, the boys turn up at the ceremony, in order to stop the wedding, and to help catch the crooks.
Director(s): Norman Z. McLeod
Production: Paramount Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
100 min

Where are we heading for?

Wide open spaces

where men are men.

And the women?

No women!

That's how we got into this thing.


Head south, boy!

It's going to be a cold winter.

What do you say we book

our act around here?

Good idea. No girls anywhere

as pretty as the girls in Oklahoma.

Pa! Pa!

But he sung so pretty.

I'll get him if it's

the last thing I do.

What did he tell you

his name was?

Frank Sinatra.

Hey, Scat? How about playing

some dates in Texas?

Now you're talking. No girls anywhere

as pretty as the girls in Texas.

I reckon

we lost them, Buck.

Yeah, but they're going to be

mighty easy to track down.

One of them told my little

sister his name was Gene Autry.


No girls anywhere

pretty as the girls...

No, you don't! We're going to stay

right here and get ourselves a job.


I know:
" Don't phone us,

we'll phone you."

Don't race your motor, I booked a date

for us. We're going to be eating again.

Good news for the mice. No we

can quit stealing their cheese.

I'm so hungry,

my pucker won't puck.

My waistline was practically

back to normal.

Which one?

Where we playing?

Johnson's Mammoth Carnival.

Oh, the seals couldn't make it, huh?

What a setup! We sing, we dance, we

recite, and then you do your specialty.

Oh, I'll blow them

out of the joint.

Well, this is a little different.

This is a novelty act.

What kind of novelty?

All you have to do

is ride a bicycle.

What kind of bicycle?

Oh, a regulation bicycle.

Standard equipment. Oxyacetylene

lamp, a new departure coaster breaker.

Do I ride it fast?

The slower the better.

No hands, huh?

That's entirely up to you.

Well, pack up your bugle.

Let's fly from this fleabag.

Lucky our laundry came back.

This time I'll take the money so some

gal won't tear it out of you with tears.

No more. Heart of stone,

that's me! Come along!

What is this?

Don't want to wake up the

desk clerk. Come along.

"We're full of glee My buddy and

me We're happy all day through"

"You'll always see us Laughing ha!

like little boys We're so full of joys"

"But that's why we say to you"

"We're on our way"

"To Apalachicola Bay"

Tell me, where's Apalachicola?

Clever town, down south.

Down south? What are we

wearing this long underwear for?

Because we're quite a target.

"Magnolia trees and possum

And a pretty southern gal"

"It's better than the orange groves

In Cucamonga, Cal"

"We're going to stay

Along the Apalachicola Bay"

"We may stop in Old Cliff Corner

For some ham and grits"

"Or pass through Tallahassee

If the weather permits"

"We're on our way"

"To Apalachicola, F-L-A"

"Way down upon the Swanee"

"The Swanee River"


Oh, that old Swanee!

I can't wait to get down there.

See my little old mammy with that

load of cotton coming up the road.

And there's my sweet old pappy.

He's always got a load.

Oh, and that Confederate moonlight

shines down and makes

those stills look so swanky.

And that Thanksgiving dinner, humph.

When they barbecue a Yankee.


"Carry me back"

"To old Virginny"

Virginny. Ow!

The path to the schoolhouse

down which I would wind

with my little bitty old ball weevil

trudging behind.

Come along, Ball. Come on.

My pa bet on horses

that always ran fourth,

so Ma rented cabins

to the folks from up north.

Apalachicola, I hear you calling!


"I'm on my way"

"Well, let's go!"

"We're on our way to..."









Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

More? We're killing them.

Shall I tap them with an encore?

No. It's time now for the

topper, your novelty act.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, you fools!

Hmm, thank you, you doll.

Don't leave the grounds.

Here, here. Get dressed!

Warm them up.

Oh, Mr. Johnson!

Our contractual

obligation, hmm?

I hope your partner does

better than the Great Sandar.

He'll be in the hospital

for at least six months.

Yes, well, don't you worry

about Barton the Magnificent.

He'll give you a good show

if it kills him.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

You made a good deal,

Mr. Johnson.


Does Notre Dame

know about this boy?

A little insurance. He'll see that

your partner doesn't get cold feet.

Too late!

Shall we, then?

What a build.

You think Superman will sue?

Just as I thought, falsies.

Falsies? You kidding?

That's real flab.

What's this for?

I'm going to play a fast chorus of

"Dinah" while I'm riding the bike...

Oh, no.

Just whistle it, kid.

My bread!

itll be all right, don't worry.

Come along. Here we go! Hup!

Up here?

Yes, sir! Hey!

Hey, wait a minute! Where am

I going? Why am I climbing?

Your bicycle's up there.


You want me

to ride that thing?

Up there in the stratosphere?

Who do you think I am? Mr. Jordan?

Up that ladder!

How did Mount Baldy

get into this?

Up that ladder!

Get yourself an eagle,

brother! Wait a minute!

What is this? What kind

of...? Wait a minute, please!

I can't stand altitude.

I get dizzy spells.

Wait a minute! Not too

high, my nose will bleed!

Wait! I may hatch this, you know!

Take it easy. We're getting

200 bucks for this. See?

Well, let me hold it. If anything

goes wrong, at least I won't die poor!

You can trust me, boy.

I'll take care of your dough.

You'll take care of it, all right,

until some dame comes along.

All they have to do is

tell you the sad story of

their life and you want to

give it a happy ending!

Steady now,

I'm getting ice on my ears!

Don't push, we're here.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I have to go down,

I forgot my rosin.

Your attention, please!

Barton the Magnificent will

now perform a sensational...

- an aerial feat:

The Ride Through Space!

What's your problem, honey?

I'm in trouble.

Big trouble.

Oh, there, there.

Well, just tell old Scat all about it.

Please! I'd like to talk it over a second.

Just one second! Please!

nerves of steel!

Introducing Barton the Magnificent,

substituting for Sandar,

who, unfortunately broke his leg

this afternoon.

Just a sec! I'm not getting enough money!

Whoa! Whoa!

Please! Please!

Wait! Wait a minute! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

I did it! I did it!

Oh, no, you don't!

Just one show!

Oh, no!

Please, it's windy out there!

Please! Don't!

Where'd you go?

Aaargh! Oh, please!

Help! Help!


Help! Help! Help!

You know, this picture

could end right here.

Scat! Do something, you burglar!

Lay your coat down! Help!

Hang on, pal.

Old Scat will take care of you.


Hey! Don't let that wagon

get away from you, now! Giddap!


Atta boy!

See you at the Derby.

You'll be glue if you talk to him.

"Queen of Brazil."


No girls anywhere as pretty

as the girls in Brazil.


Don't beat their heads in

till I get my money back.

You can break his legs, but don't

tear the tights, they belong to me.

Come on, let's find him.

Watch your step, folks.

Step carefully, please.

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Edmund Beloin

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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