Range 15

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1

- You have

a collect call from...

- Ross Patterson.

- An inmate

at street justice films.

- Alright, so no sh*t.

There I was, on

this train to Paris.

- Will you shut the f*** up?

Shut the f*** up!

Shut the f*** up.

Shut the f*** up!

Everybody knows, okay?

Alright, here's to master

chief Bill Wizeniski

and Zack Kunkle.

- Every person

in the military says,

they day I get out, I'm

gonna party like it's the end

of the world.

- Good afternoon, Mr. best,

I'm gonna be your

public defender.

Seeing as how your actual

lawyer said and I quote,

"f*** him, let him

stay in there."

So, the court assigned

me to represent you.

Do you know what you've

been charged with

or are you too

drunk to remember?

- I was gonna have to hit

the refresh button, my man.

- Yeah.

How bout public intoxication?

- Do it, do it, do it, do it.

- Mat, don't f***ing do it.

- Bro, he's gonna f***ing do it.

- I'm gonna live forever!

- F***, not again.

- What the f*** man?

- Matt, give him

an r4 trauma bag,

it looks like he's got

a sucking ass wound.

- Nice shot!

- Disorderly conduct.

- Don't f***ing do it!

- Freedom to f*** off!

Yes, yes!

- Indecency.

- Bro.

- I know.

He's gonna f***ing do it.

- Hey, this taking lead?

- Hey, hey, watch the Prius.

- Oh, I just Lance

Armstronged your Prius.

That means I lost a ball in it.

- I bet your corp

watches the view.

Bro.

No, but really I bet

it gets good mileage.

- What?

- Battery.

- Oh sh*t.

I f***ing punched

Kesha last night.

I know this is gonna sound crazy

but I f***ing love your music.

- Then show me, mat.

- You know that's a

f***ing dude, right?

- What?

- That's a f***ing dude.

- F***.

- Why you have to

ruin all the fun?

- Yeah, why do you have

to ruin all the fun?

- F***.

- Henry Kesha,

Duluth, Minnesota.

This is why you're also being

charged with a hate crime.

And that carries with

it a class a felony.

You normally get it reduced

to class c misdemeanor,

I'd have to the court

that you were homosexual,

which isn't much of a lie

based on your sexual advances

from last night.

- I'll take the felony, brother.

- Too late, I've already

plea bargained for it.

You'll be out of here at 9 am.

It will count as time served.

Tell us you just got

out of the service.

See a lot of guys

coming through here.

Word of advice, find

your next objectives.

Something you can live for.

Choose a new goal to achieve,

learn from your

time in the army.

Don't let it dictate the

entire rest of your life.

- I got a plan.

I'm gonna get out, make

some Internet videos,

get famous and probably

make a movie one day.

- Good luck making

a movie out of that.

Next thing you'll tell

me is you're making

t-shirts for vets and

selling them online

out of your bedroom.

- Actually.

- Alright

young man, here you go.

Hold on, you ain't going

nowhere without me.

You know...

- by the way,

how's your youngest daughter?

I heard she's turned 18.

- She's doing fine.

She's doing even better

without you around.

- F*** you, b*tch!

- Shut up!

Aww, it's good to

see you again, mat.

Sarcasm.

- You too, Wilfred Brimley.

- Huh?

- Got you too huh?

- F***ing

arrested all of us, bro.

- I'm sure you're all innocent.

Try not to f***

each other in there,

it makes a mess.

- Oh bravo, Mr. best.

You know how long it's

been since I've been locked

up in prison?

Let me see, carry the two,

that's right, my

whole f***ing life!

- F*** you!

How was I supposed

to know that...

- Kesha, Henry

Kesha, you made bail.

- Call me if you want

to party and sh*t.

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