Please, Please Me!

Synopsis: Has Jean-Jacques an infallible way to seduce women or is he just fantasizing about it? His girlfriend Ariane wants to sort it out.
90 min

Please please me

What time is it?

Wake me in an hour.


In one hour.

Only 30% of men know this zone,

yet it's the most irresistible.

Make less noise, please!

Are you waking up?

- Wait...

- Don't you want to?

I can't do a thing

till I've had coffee.

Any coffee let?

Have you looked?

We're out.

I put it on the list.

Never mind. Ill go to the cafe.


Not drinking it?

It's too hot.

Want me to blow on it?

No, it's ok.

- Ive nearly finished!

- Finish later.

No, I've only got 3 pages let.

Please... be nice.

- Finished?

- Yes.

What's wrong?


I kiss you

and nothing's happening.

Im sorry. It's that story.

The ending is awful.

I wasn't expecting it.

I can't get it out of my head.

Oh, no, I've been waiting for ages.

You shouldn't have told me to wait.

I didn't know

the book would put me in this state.

It's Saturday.

You were tired all week.

It's not my fault

if I'm overwhelmed.

Sorry, I'm sensitive enough to empathize

with the characters' anguish.

I witnessed a tragedy.

A woman discovers

As she is dying

that she was cheated on, her whole life.

And you expect me to be carefree!

Look, it's not true.

It's a made-Up story.

So? People are desperate in real life.

That's not what I meant.

But you're working tonight.

Tomorrow, we're seeing your grandpa.

This is the only time for us.

And every night, you say

you're a morning person.

For once, we have a free morning...

but it's not possible now.

Im in the wrong frame of mind.

I won't give in

to the dictatorship of your urges.

Is that how you see my loving urges?

Are they loving?

I should know, they're my urges.

If you let them overcome you,

you'd see.

Im already overcome.

How can you overcome what's overcome?

What's wrong?

Novels have more effect on you

than I do now.

I don't know what to do.

Im distraught.

- Wait a while.

- I have!

- Since 7 am.

- 7!

Since Monday, in fact.

Your impatience oppresses me.

We're done for.

We're caught in a vicious circle.

Why is that?

The wait will increase my desire

and that will oppress you more.

- I see no way out.

- Come here.

- What?

- Come here.

May I?

My door or yours?

I guess it's mine.

Sorry to disturb you.

Im Gregoire Levieux.

Im moving in.

Hello. Well, goodbye.

I apologize for the disturbance

that my move

Will cause.

- Phone.

- Who is it?

- "Private".

- Must be jean-Paul. Ill call him back.

Well, there's no problem.

Ill be moving rather early.

- As it's Sunday...

- No problem. Bye.

Ill put him on.

It's not jean-Paul.


Yes... hello.

It's just that...

- I can't really talk now.

- Not really!

But I'll... let you know.

He'll let you know!


Who was it?

A woman who...

a woman!

She just wanted some info.

How do you know her, honey?

She's a woman I met...

I came across...

I don't know...

in an office, I think.

Do my questions bother you?

No, not at all.

You're not thinking about that girl

I barely know?

Look, jean-Jacques...

It's better to tell me the truth now

Than for me to find it out later.

Don't be melodramatic.

If I tell you the truth,

you won't want to hear it.

How so?

If I told you, you'd distort it,

Magnify it,

make it more serious than it is.

It's serious?

There! I knew it!

You're making a big thing of it,

but it's insignificant.

By saying nothing,

it remained insignificant.

All this mystery worries me.

I just want to protect you.

Tell me. Please tell me.

Ill consider it all insignificant.

- You won't. I know you.

- I will, I swear.

- You swear?

- Yes.

- Then, we can carry on?

- Yes.


the other day, Jean-Paul and I

Were leaving work

When we met an old friend of his.

We go for a coffee and then...

he tells us, since his divorce

He has a new girlfriend every week.

So, Jean-Paul asks him

how he seduces a new girl every week.

He tells us

he has perfected a technique.


A technique he discovered

a few years ago,

Quite by chance.

One day,

When he was traveling,

moved by the discreet charm

Of a woman sitting nearby,

But not knowing how to talk to her,

He decided to write her a note.

That day,

His hand wrote all by itself

And composed turns of phrase

he didn't know he was capable of.

He came up with charming words

To describe the turmoil

this woman stirred in him.

And as he was finishing the note,

He had a stroke of genius.

He suggested a sort of game.

He would stand

between two cars on the train

And wait ten minutes.

Ten minutes, he wrote

Waiting for maybe

the most magical moment in his life.

If she came, he promised

not to try to restrain her.

He wouldn't ask her any questions.

He would merely savor

this unique moment.

He now uses the same note

for each encounter.

He showed us a copy.

He always has one on him

just in case.

Then, he hurried of on a date.

Jean-Paul was going his way, too.

I found myself on my own,

Thinking about what I'd just heard.

And just then...

without meaning to,

Despite myself, my gaze

Landed on someone.

As I had doubts about this technique,

I wanted to check it.




In the note, I said

I'd wait for her in the billiards room

Intending to hide

to see if she'd join me.

But in the end

after due consideration

I thought it was ridiculous

and I decided to leave.

Im very sorry.

You said the billiards room.


The thing is... actually, I...

I'm in a hurry, but...


It was her phone number.

Nothing else happened.

I resisted.

You know, you should be proud of me.

It wasnt my fault.

I didn't go to the billiards room.

It was her initiative.

It's not my fault, I was raped.

The surprise was too great for me

to concentrate on my feelings.

I didn't appreciate it.

I remained impassive.

You called her back.


she has your number.

Yes, I did call her back

But only to be polite.

I kept her waiting for 4 days...

It didn't seem right

to leave her with no news.

Really? And what did you say?


She wanted to invite me...

to some party tonight.

Tonight - How convenient!

Im working and you're free.

I didn't say I'd go.

Once we've finished what we started

Ill call her and end it.

Ok now?

Don't you like my kisses anymore?

- They've changed.

- No!

Yes, they have.

How can you want to kiss another

without your kisses changing?

It's like saying a drop of lemon

didn't change water.

Im sorry. When you kiss me,

I sense her presence.

You taste different.

Yes, but that tiny droplet

has evaporated now.

Well, I can still taste it.

I think it's too unfair.

Yes, that girl was sublime.

Yes, she was attracted to me.

What did I do?

Who did I sacrifice myself for?

What is it?

If it's a sacrifice to stay with me,

there's no point staying together.

A week ago, we were talking

about having a baby.

It's so sad.

I was a fool

to think we were happy.

But nothing happened!

I didn't sleep with her.

It makes no difference

whether you did or not!

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Emmanuel Mouret

Emmanuel Mouret (born 30 June 1970) is a French actor, director and screenwriter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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