Pitbullterje

---

Are you ready, guys?

We are going to blow dry Jim's face

with the biggest flaming fart

of all times. Are you ready, Jim?

Get the lighter out. Come on.

Sh*t, did you see that?

That was crazy, that was a whopper.

Oh man, damn.

Are you alright, Jim?

Sure, I'm fine.

Did you start smoking yet?

Great, you can keep watch, then.

You need to close off right away.

And have at least one layer of clothes.

Or the flame can backfire.

A guy in the States fried up

his entire guts and croaked.

Right.

You can actually explode, right?

Yeah, that's a fact.

It could happen to anyone.

Weren't you supposed to keep watch?

Are those yours?

Okay, whose are they?

They're my mom's. She's trying to

quit, so I'm holding on to them for her.

I have to call your mom about this.

You can't, phone's not working.

You can write a note.

You owe me a pack of smokes.

Cigarettes too?

Yeah, here's the note from my mom.

Sure, that's fine.

The eagle has landed.

Three, four, five...

Did you lock the door?

Yes.

Did you remember the chain too?

Of course.

Did the package arrive?

No, not yet.

We're having Beef Stroganoff, over.

Perfect, I'll reserve the best

table in the restaurant. Over.

Fantastic.

It's all about having

a positive attitude.

You could become

the first mom on the moon.

That's not very likely. Women with

anxiety don't become astronauts.

Well, they did send a dog

in to outer space, so maybe?

I have been feeling pretty good

today. That's great.

A small step for man;

a giant leap for mankind.

TV shop presents Dog Style. Now

your dog can be a happy dog too.

Dog Style is a professional

equipment kit for your dog.

I would feel much safer if we had a

dog.

But you don't even dare go outside.

I thought we were supposed to have

a positive attitude?

I'm going out to the garage

for a little while. I won't go far.

Jim!

Yo Kari, what's up?

They've taken Roger and Kurt.

Jim please, do something.

Help me Jim, please?

Are you going to help me or what?

Sorry Kurt, you asked for this.

Jim, what are you doing?

Jim. The smokes.

Sit down, chill. Teacher in the house.

Well, this is our class room.

Terje?

As we've talked about, Terje is joining

us today. Are you coming, Terje?

Where would you like to sit, Terje?

Next to Jim.

I'll go get a chair.

What's your name other than Terje?

Fat Terje?

Terje the dick?

Homo Terje.

Or do you just use fatso?

You can call me PitbullTerje.

You know why?

Because I have a pit bull, get it?

Okay, let's all sit in a circle

so we can get to know Terje better.

Come on. Find your seats,

find your seats, excellent.

Ok, Terje. You can start by

telling us a little bit about yourself.

You can at least tell us

where you've lived?

Hell, no.

You can't swear in here.

Quiet.

Terje, you can't talk like that.

I talk exactly the way I want to.

Do you have a hobby

you could tell us about?

I have a pit bull terrier.

A pit bull terrier?

When it bites,

it doesn't let go until you're dead.

It could kill you, you, and you.

Terje!

And you.

You can't let him do this.

Shut up.

Let's all go to the gym and continue

working on our Christmas play, ok?

Yes, come on, everybody.

Terje, you can be the guard in the inn.

You're sort of sturdy and tough, huh?

Very nice.

This is starting to look like Bethlehem.

Check it out, angel dance.

Wonderful.

Real Jedi Josef there Jim.

And you, good and pregnant.

Let's hear the rap, now.

It came to pass that in those days.

Counting the people was all the craze.

So Caesar Augustus sent out the call,

to count and tax his subjects all.

If you so much as talk to that fat

sumowrestler you'll get your ass kicked!

What would I be talking to

that psycho about anyway?

Good.

The eagle has landed.

Did you lock the door?

Yes, and the chain as well. Over.

Hi.

No package today either?

No, it'll probably be here tomorrow.

Look... I've made a list of things

we have to remember for Christmas.

A Christmas tree.

That's been ordered.

And your Christmas present.

That's ordered too.

Washing windows and other little

odds and ends... Then we're set.

Is there something wrong?

No.

Why are you looking out the window?

I'm not looking.

What was that?

I can't hear anything.

Is there someone here?

Relax, it's nothing.

Yes, listen, there's somebody here.

No, have a look, then.

See, there was nothing.

Maybe we should just

cancel Christmas.

Where are we going today, mom?

To a party. A heck of a party.

You can let me out here.

Okay.

It's Jim's mom. The party can start!

Don't wait up.

This is going to be a real blow out.

Can a girl get a drink around here?

Roger, you'll get 100 crowns

if you hit the window.

Maybe we can scare Jim's mom

out of there once and for all.

Hey, there's Jim.

Hey.

Are you playing with Playmo?

Can we play?

No.

Let's watch a video instead?

Where's the TV?

Are there any girls there?

You really should have had some.

Then you could have played

truth or dare.

Or spin the bottle

or something like that.

Oh God.

Get the lighter out.

Did you know that Kurt is allergic

to milk? If he drinks milk every day,

his stomach gets all messed up

and he can make huge farts.

Do these chips smell weird?

Oh, sh*t!

We should have had

some girls here now.

Did you know that smoking stunts your

growth? You could end up a midget.

That was scary.

Eh, not very.

Want to play truth or dare or what?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes