Pineapple Express

Synopsis: Lazy court-process clerk and stoner Dale Denton has only one reason to visit his equally lazy dealer Saul Silver: to purchase weed, specifically, a rare new strain called Pineapple Express. But when Dale becomes the only witness to a murder by a crooked cop and the city's most dangerous drug lord, he panics and dumps his roach of Pineapple Express at the scene. Dale now has another reason to visit Saul: to find out if the weed is so rare that it can be traced back to him--and it is. As Dale and Saul run for their lives, they quickly discover that they're not suffering from weed-fueled paranoia: incredibly, the bad guys really are hot on their trail and trying to figure out the fastest way to kill them both. All aboard the Pineapple Express.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): David Gordon Green
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 2 wins & 13 nominations.
111 min

- When did it start?

- At 0500. We're seven minutes in.

Private Miller...'ve been smoking ltem 9

for seven minutes and 1 3 seconds.

We're going to ask you

several questions.

How do you feel?

Well, sir...

...I feel like a...

Like a slice of butter...

...melting on top

of a big old pile of flapjacks.


Okay, Private Miller,

when you think of your superiors...

...what emotions do you feel?

Okay, Private Miller?

Is this normal?

Okay, Private...

Okay, Private Miller?

Private Miller.

Answer the question.

This went out, sir.

Can you torch me?

We'll send someone in.

Holy bejesus!

Private Miller, answer the question.

What was the question again, sir?

When you think of your superiors,

what emotions do you feel?

You know what problem I have...

...with your f***ing little

dog-and-pony act you call the military?

Here it is. One:
lots of dudes.

Where are the boobies?

Why are we

underground right now, sir?

Why can't we be out in the open?

Why aren't we in a square right now?

Why aren't we talking to people,

letting them know ltem 9 exists?

Get it out. Shout off the rooftops:

"This is great!

This is the bee's knees, ltem 9!"

Private, we need you to be serious.

I'm serious. Your dick, my mouth.

That's inappropriate.

F*** you!

I've seen enough. Shut it down.

Bury the hatch. Sell the land.

And dispose of him.

This never happened.

Dude, what happened to your eye?


Can you guys understand me?

- Hey. Hey, where we going?

- This is General Brat.

We've reached

a final conclusion on ltem 9.


Hey, this is Sam. Good morning.

Welcome to KRAD.

You know, I think that last caller

had some undeniable points.

Right now, we're gonna get

to the next caller, Dale Denton.

Hey, Sam. Big huge fan.

First-time caller.

- Here's my piece.

- All right.

If marijuana is not legal

within the next five years...

...I have no faith

left in humanity, period.

Everyone likes smoking weed.

They have for thousands of years.

They're not gonna stop anytime soon.

It makes everything better. Makes

food better. Makes music better.

It makes sex feel better,

for God's sakes.

It makes shitty movies better,

you know?

Hi, there. Are you Sandra Danby?


Well, I'm Garth

from Global Saviors, and...

- What is this?

- I'm joking.

You failed to show up

for divorce proceedings...

...four times under court order,

and you've been served.

- Oh, great. Thanks a lot, a**hole.

- Sorry.

I'm just saying love has no age.

You can't instantly tell me that a man,

because he's a certain age...

...can't marry a woman

or love a woman.

I'm dating a high-school girl.

You're not maximizing your potential.

Think this girl takes you seriously?

No, but if I'm 25

and the girl is 1 8 years old... know, in society,

that might look bad.

- Hey, as long as it's consensual.

- I think it's consensual.

Yo, you been served.

You've been served.

You've been served.

You've been served.

Walter Wadska the third.

You here to fix the fax machine?

No, I'm here to tell you

you owe MasterCard 4068 bucks.

You've been served by the best.

Keep it real.

Why don't you get a real job,

you f***ing cocksucker?

- Hey, "Electric Avenue."

- I know, right?

- Take that sh*t to the next level, eh?

- Okay, I will.

- Dr. Edgar Terrence?

- Yes.

You have repeatedly refused

to trim the monkey tree...

...that spills

onto your neighbor's property.

And now because of that,

you've been served.

You're a jerk.

All this current system is doing... putting money

in the hands of criminals...

...and it's making ordinary people like

Rate this script:(3.00 / 1 vote)

Seth Rogen

Seth Aaron Rogen (; born April 15, 1982) is a Canadian-American actor, voice actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director. He began his career performing stand-up comedy during his teenage years. While still living in his native Vancouver, he landed a supporting role in Judd Apatow's series Freaks and Geeks. Shortly after he moved to Los Angeles for his role, Freaks and Geeks was officially cancelled after one season due to low viewership. Rogen later got a part on sitcom Undeclared, which also hired him as a writer. After landing his job as a staff writer on the final season of Da Ali G Show, Apatow guided him toward a film career. Rogen made his first movie appearance in Donnie Darko with a minor role in 2001. Rogen was cast in a supporting role and credited as a co-producer in Apatow's directorial debut, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Universal Pictures subsequently cast him as the lead in Apatow's films Knocked Up and Funny People. Rogen co-starred as Steve Wozniak in Universal's Steve Jobs biopic in 2015. In 2016, he developed the AMC television series Preacher with his writing partner Evan Goldberg and Sam Catlin. He also serves as a writer, executive producer, and director with Goldberg. Rogen and Goldberg co-wrote the films Superbad, Pineapple Express, The Green Hornet, This Is the End, and directed both This Is the End and The Interview; all of which Rogen starred in. He has also done voice work for the films Horton Hears a Who!, the Kung Fu Panda film series, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Monsters vs. Aliens, Paul, Sausage Party, and will provide the voice of Pumbaa in the 2019 remake of The Lion King. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Pineapple Express" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 2 Dec. 2022. <>.

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