People Like Us

1

(lNSTRUMENTS BElNG PlCKED UP)

(JERRY CHUCKLlNG SOFTLY)

JERRY:
Are we on?

TECH 1:
We're on.

JERRY:
Where we at

with the levels?

TECH 2:
Left. (BEEPS)

Right. (BEEPS)

JERRY:
l'm getting a little

hum from the guitar amp.

TECH 1 :
You like it with

that sort of gutbucket sound.

JERRY:
I want to be

convertible on this.

l want to be able to switch it

back if it doesn't fit.

TECH 2:
Check, check. Check.

JERRY:
That's good.

TECH 2:
Jerry,

we're ready now.

JERRY:
Groovy, man. Let's go.

TECH 1 :
Yeah, man.

(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Sleep all day

Out all night

l know where you're goin'

l don't think

that's actin' right

You don't think

it's showin'

SAM:
So these are your P30 tires, huh?

BEN:
That's right.

-How many?

-A hundred thousand.

A hundred thousand?

God, that's a mountain

of rubber, Ben.

Please don't tell me you're

offloading to a liquidator.

-We use Cemensky Brothers.

-Cemensky Brothers?

Look, l'm kind of

pressed for time.

-Can you get to the point?

-(LAUGHlNG)

What, for 10 cents

on the dollar?

Two percent

of your wholesale cost?

What happens when

they dump 100,000 P30s

to every discount chain that's

competing for your clients?

Okay. Ten minutes.

Bottom line it for me. What's your cut?

Well, l could pay you

100 cents on the dollar,

your full wholesale cost,

guarantee to

re-market overseas

so you don't undercut

domestic sales,

and for that, believe me,

it's a river of sh*t

you don't want to go swimming in,

we only pull 30%. commission.

What is it you do again?

You buy tires?

Among other things, yeah.

l work in corporate barter.

l'm a facilitator.

Thank you so much

for taking the time.

Sam Harper,

Allied Trade Consultants.

We buy and sell overstock.

lt's the barter system, Omar.

The original form of commerce.

Look, every company

has leftovers

after a sales cycle, right?

Last year's electronics,

ketchup bottles,

kitten calendars,

toys that didn't sell

at Christmas.

Anything with

an expiration date.

Questionable baby formula.

There's a market

for everything, Phil.

Weyerhaeuser Paper,

U.S. Steel,

Exxon Mobil, Fortune 500s.

We work for the biggest

in the world.

Do you have my card?

Because in this economy,

paper is paper,

but goods are good.

Unlike the dollar,

barter does not depreciate

one single percent.

lt's the new money.

l mean, that's how

you have to think of it.

You are getting in

on the ground floor of money!

(CHUCKLES)

All right.

WOMAN 1 :

Allied Trade Consultants?

WOMAN 2:
Allied Trade

and Barter, please hold.

Allied Trade Consultants.

Please hold

while l transfer your call.

-MAN:
Sammy!

-What's up, baby?

(WOMAN LAUGHS)

-WOMAN:
Oh, he's leaving.

-Uh-huh. Okay.

(WHlSPERS)

l closed Lincoln Tire,

a million, two,

in product. Yes!

Yeah,

l'll make it right.

You should've seen me

in there, buddy. lt was a thing of beauty!

l fed him

your "new money" line.

lt was like feeding a baby

a pacifier.

Did you ship 100,000 cases

of tomato bisque to Ecuador?

Yeah. Yeah, National Soup had

overstock they had to dump.

And you shipped by train?

Of course l did.

lt was half as much as air freight.

Through Mexico.

1 15 degrees and you ship by train.

-What... What's the problem?

-The problem?

-(RlNGlNG)

-l'll tell you the problem.

Did you get Dolores

on the phone yet?

Yes. Here's the list.

She'll be very happy.

Thank you.

lt's all about Dolores.

l don't know

why you have to

l'm the best guy

you have on the floor. l'm a killer.

Am l saving you

too much money?

Yeah,

you're saving me money

by shipping boxes

of soup in an unrefrigerated train car.

-No, no, Jim, they were cans.

-No, they were boxes.

l know specifically

that they were boxes

because when

boxes get hot, they expand,

and when they expand

they explode,

and that train car

looked like a birthing suite at Bellevue.

(SlGHS) Sh*t!

-You know what you did?

-This isn't a big deal, Jim.

You violated nine provisions

of the Sanitary Food

Transportation Act.

l get it, Jim.

Will you listen to me for a second?

And as soon as the Federal

Trade Commission finds out

they're going to shove

a flashlight,

a Klieg light, in my anus!

They're gonna put a light.

Jesus Christ!

Wanna keep it down?

Yeah, they're gonna

shine it up there

because they want

to shut us down!

You know they want

to shut us down!

We barter.

We don't pay taxes!

l will go

down to National,

l'll talk to Phil Hymore,

the VP of Sales...

-He loves me. l'll have...

-l talked to Phil Hymore.

Phil Hymore's the one

who's threatening to call the FTC.

Phil Hymore's

not calling the FTC.

Yeah, he knows he has us

over a barrel.

(STAMMERlNG)

l'll throw him a deal

and corrugate it

for his next shipment.

He does not want corrugated.

Phil Hymore wants an addition.

-An addition?

-To his house.

He wants an addition

to his house.

He's got a new wife,

Dolores.

She doesn't like

the master suite.

Smells his ex in the walls or

something. Do l give a sh*t?

Are you telling me

you're bribing Phil Hymore

not to report us

to the FTC

by buying him

an addition to his house?

For the record,

l did not use that word, okay?

You're a genius! Genius!

You moved, what,

two million of Lincoln Tire?

Yeah.

What's that

in commission, about 80K?

Eighty-four.

Eighty-four thousand.

That should

just about cover it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

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