Outrageous Fortune

I just met you

Yet I'm feeling

It seems that somehow

we met somewhere before

I think I loved you

In my dreams 100 times or maybe more

What a connection

I just can't conceal it

There's a kind of magic in the air

Ooh, I can feel it

Something special

Is gonna happen tonight

I want you to know that

Something special

Is gonna happen tonight

I promise I'll be good to you

What a connection

I just can't conceal it

There's a kind of magic in the air

Ooh, I can feel it

Something special

Is gonna happen tonight

I want you to know that

Something special

Is gonna happen tonight

I promise I'll be good to you

Something special

Is gonna happen tonight

Oh! All right. That's it.

- What's the matter, Marie? What happened?

- She tried to kill me.

- Well, isn't that the point?

- No, Lauren.

This is theatrical fencing.

This isn't an autopsy. All right?

All right.

Damn it! I don't even know

why we have to do this.

If you want to do Shakespeare,

Shakespearean people have duels.

- Not the women.

- It's my ambition to play Hamlet.

Oh, that'll pack 'em in the aisles.

Yes.

Paulette.

Lan.

Good. Lauren.

Excellent.

Naomi.

Bitch.

- Lauren.

- Hi, George.

- Have dinner with me tonight.

- What?

- Say, "Yes."

- George.

- Say, "Yes."

- Why are you acting like this?

Because I wanna be with you.

Well, that's nice.

This is so funny, George.

I thought you were gay.

Oh, I am. It's just, I play

so many heterosexual roles...

I feel I really need to

do some serious research.

Mm-hmm.

And just when you think

there's no greater depth...

to which an actor could possibly sink.

- That's nothin'. Remember Fred?

- Fred.

I've got a 50 percent

hearing loss in this ear...

from him yelling "Stella" in bed.

I tell ya, I swore

off actors a year ago.

I said if that's the only

subspecies of men available...

I'd rather not date at all.

And I haven't. But

there are other things.

My work, I perfect my craft.

L... Kor... Korzenowski!

- Yeah.

- He's taking students.

- Hey, but where you gonna get that kind of money?

- L...

I gotta use that phone.

Come on. You're up.

Who is it?

It's your sister-in-law. Hurry

up. My feet are falling off.

Well, hi, Shirley.

I'm glad you finally...

Wait a minute.

Get in front of the camera.

- I knew it.

- Come on, Mom. Let me in.

No, we can't afford it.

Mom, please.

- Is that my baby?

- Daddy!

Yes, but she can't come

in. She wants a loan.

Daddy, can I come in, please?

Please, please, please,

please, please, Daddy? Daddy?

- Daniel, what are you doing?

- Oh, yes.

- You don't know she wants money.

- Of course she does.

- You don't know that.

- That's right, Mom.

Can't I just drop in to see my parents?

Okay, I need $5,000.

- But it's to study with Korzenowski. -

$5,000. - She might have a good reason.

- Daddy! Stanislav Korzenowski.

- $5,000, Daniel.

- I'll pay you back.

- What did you say?

W:

- What was that?

- I know I owe you some money.

- You owe us $3 2,000.

But it's the Korzenowski.

Lauren, we sent you to Yale

and London and the institute.

You have been at this acting thing for

years, and you haven't earned a dime.

You are still working as a salesgirl!

- Honey, face it. Maybe it's time for you to give it up.

- Daddy.

- Daniel. Hey, what did you

do? - Oh. Oh, Daddy. - Nothing.

- You gave her that money? - Oh, Daddy.

- I cannot believe that you did that.

- She is our only child. - Oh. Oh, Daddy!

- I can't believe it. She is sucking us dry.

- $5,000. Thank you, Daddy!

- She isn't. Well, I just got another bill from Bloomingdale's.

- Oh, thank you.

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