Our Relations

Synopsis: Unbeknownst to Stanley and Oliver, their long-lost twin brothers, sailors Alfie and Bert are in town on shore leave carrying a valuable pearl ring entrusted to them by their ship's captain. All four get involved in multiple cases of mistaken identity as a gang of hoodlums try to steal the ring Stanley and Oliver wind up with their feet in cement, about to be dumped into the harbor.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Harry Lachman
Production: MGM
73 min

- l'm sorry.|- No, Betty, this is yours.

What's going on here? Silly.

Pass the sugar, lover.

- Hand me the bread, Momma.|- Yes, Poppa.

- There we are.|- Thank you.

That's strawberry jam in there.

How about some celery?|Would you like some celery?

Thank you.

Are you starting this all over again?

(Both) That's the best cup of tea|you ever made.

- Shakespeare.|- Longfellow.

- Needles.|- Pins. (Laughs)

- lsn't that cute?|- (Clock chiming)

Oh, Daphne, look at the time.|Hurry or we'll be late for our bridge party.

Honey, excuse us|but Mrs Adelquist will be calling for us.

- Have a good time.|- See you before you go.

Oh, lover.


That's Mrs Adelquist. Let her in, darling,|we'll be right down. Come on, Betty.

- Come in, Mrs Adeltwist.|- Special delivery for Mr Hardy.

Sign, please.

- (Door closes)|- Come in, Mrs Adelquist.

lt wasn't Mrs Twiddlepast.

Not Twiddlepast, Adelquick, er, Adelquist.

Never mind who it was, who was it?

- lt was a letter for you.|- Oh!

lt's from my mother.

- What's she say?|- l'll find out when l get my glasses.

(Loud crunching)

''My dear son Ollie,

''l was cleaning up the attic and in going|through a lot of rubbish l came acr...''

Don't be rude.

Now look what you've done.

Take some hot water and clean those off!


My eyes are getting worse every day.|This letter is just a blur. Hurry up.

Thank you.

Now, that's better.

''My dear son Ollie,

''l was cleaning up the attic|and in going through a lot of rubbish

''l came across this picture of you and Stan|and your twin brothers, Bert and Alf

''so l thought you would like to have it.|Lovingly, Mother.''

- lsn't that swell?|- Can you imagine that?

Our very own twin brothers.

l wonder where they are.

Cha cha cha.

(Laughs) Seems like only yesterday.

(Stan) Which is you?|(Ollie) That's me there.

- Look at me.|- But that isn't you, that's Alf.

Let me have your glasses.

(Nasally) You mean to tell me|l don't know which is me?

That's me, right there.

How do you know that's you?

- l'm the oldest, you can...|- Sit down.

There's some more writing.|Give me my glasses.

No wonder l couldn't tell which was you!

Here, you read it!

''Dear Ollie, l forgot to tell you|that after you and Stan left home

''your twin brothers Alf and Bert turned out|to be bad lads and ran away to sea,

''and l did hear they joined a mutiny on board|one night and they both got hanged.''

Oh, isn't that terrible?

''Let this be a lesson to you. Mother.''

- Hm.|- lsn't that calamitous?

What a disgrace to our parents.|lf poor Father ever...

- Where are you going?|- To show Bubbles.

- (Chokes) Come here.|- What?

- Are you crazy?|- Uh-uh.

lf our wives find out we had some low-down|brothers like that they'd divorce us.

We'd lose our prestige in town and be|ostracised by the rest of the community.

- Well, why would they...?!|- Oh! Shh.

Why would they do that?|Everybody has a black sheep in their closet.


don't you tell a soul about this|because if you do we'll be sunk.

Then maybe we'd better burn the evidence.

(Both) Then nobody will ever know.

-Shakespeare.|- Long... Not now!

- Have you got a match?|- Yes.


We'll burn our past behind us.

- (Daphne) Come along, Betty!|- Oh! Here.

(Daphne) We'll be right down,|Mrs Adelquist!

- Oh! Hello, dear!|- Where's Mrs Adelquist?

- (Doorbell)|- We have to go now.

l'm sorry, dear. Goodbye.

Goodbye, lover.

(Daphne) Come along, girls,|we're going to be late!

- Goodbye!|- (Door closes)

(Ship's horn)

Stand by your line!

Hey, mate - get busy|and unload the livestock.

- We sail in the morning with the tide.|- Aye, sir!

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

W.W. Jacobs


All W.W. Jacobs scripts | W.W. Jacobs Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Українська (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this Our Relations script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"Our Relations" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 9 Jul 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/our_relations_15415>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.